Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Laila Chris 101 - 2013 - updated and reloaded

1. I'm patient and I've always been patient enough to wait for my hair to grow longer.

2. When I'm stressed out I start getting earlier periods, tons of zitts on my forehead, rashes on my skin, bleeding gums, brown urine...

3. I care for honesty but also for some privacy that is why I normally block myself while typing in blogs. However I let my imagination fly, float, and flow when I write literature.

4. Since last year, I've lost some many pounds. I weigh 116 pounds. I quit drinking sodas, alcoholic beverages and eating meat once and for all. However, I found myself again with mental disturbance, and the worst happened - got sick and tired of my life style, and I almost gave up everything. This is true, fellow readers. I drive to the borders of my private life sometimes. 

5. I have many addictions. I can't control my blogging activities for example. Blogging is definitely the cheapest therapy that was ever invented. Blogging is also the cheapest way to have one's writing published. Blogging is what I am doing right now. My addiction is so taking control over me that I might have ten blogs already. I won't list or link them all here because most of them are not ready yet. Well, I ended up listing some of them later on this post. You guys will see that!

6. I started this post last week (Feb 27th) and I don't think I am going to finish it today (March 4th.)... Today is March 31st... April 1st ... Officially concluded on April 7th. I actually don't recall the year I began this list but it must have been some time in 2006, and now we are at the end of 2013... Go figure.

7. Carnival season is over in Brazil... FINALLY!!!! Just the fact that I was born in this party-like country does not make ME enjoy things that most people from here do. I can't like that. I don't appreciate soccer either, although it is a healthy sport and it is probably fun to go to huge stadiums to see your favorite team playing... ok ok ok, but NO! I simply can't take it. I hate SAMBA, BOSSA NOVA, and modern Brazilian music as well. Actually, there is some music work made in Brazil that I kind of like but that's it.

8. I care for Brazilian literature. Our language is rich, complicated, unique, and it is a wonderful instrument for poetry. This is the thing that makes me proud of being Brazilian - I AM A PORTUGUESE SPEAKER.

9. I am always late in the morning. I can never have my favorite meal of the day because I'm all the time rushing. I miss good old Sunday brunches too. I can never wake up before midday on weekends either. My body has been requiring deep sleep, that is why.

10. I wear skater sneakers, cap, and cargo pants to teach classes. I can't be the classical role model of mentors. It is not my fault that the standard kind of clothing make people look older. I don't wanna look older than I am - sooorry!!!

11. Procrastinating is my motto.

12. Catholic churches frighten me.

13. I've fallen on my back in front of students. I've run over a traffic policeman. I've soundly farted while being the spotlight of a fancy party.

14. Money doesn't attract me. Shopping isn't appealing to me. I don't appreciate getting my nails done, getting my hair cut and don't even get me started on waxing. I hate cleaning, doing the laundry, ironing... I really don't like going to banks to pay bills and hate being stuck among stupid women that only talk about those subjects. Sneezing is something that doesn't bother me much though.

15. I have got more draft posts than actual published ones.

16. My favorite ice cream flavor is Butter Pecan. It's sad that it hasn't been invented facial cream with that smell.

17. MSNing is fun but there are some crazy folks that don't like to talk clearly on that chatty thing. They tend to ask me the same questions million times and to make things worse, they don't identify themselves. What's up with those people...??? ... afraid of typing maybe???

18. I love some words... especially these ones: Void, Mucus, Sellotape, Limbo, Anesthesia, Rodent, Umbrella, Fortuitous, and Blossom.

19. I actually stole this idea of writing 101 thoughts from a blog on buzznet... I can't remember whose blog that was. What a shame! I don't really care about being creative by now. After all, I've been working 14 hours a day for a while. Don't push me, don't pressure me, and most of all - do not judge me.

20. Hope this doesn't sound prejudice, but I completely loathe hip hop, R&B, and RAP... yew.

21. Crazy reckless drivers deserve to die of gonorrhea and burn in hell for the rest of the eternity.

22. I was bit by a dog when I was 12. Perhaps, this is why I am a cat person.

23. I left my parents' home when I was 16. I have lived far from them since then. No wonder I miss their company this bad.

24. I wish I could change this template... I have tried some new ones but not successfully... however, I'd miss this one which I built on my own. I agree with a blogger friend who once said that this template of mine looks creepy but nice at the same time.

25. I used to call "A1 steak sauce" "AL steak sauce"... that font on the label was dubious.

26. I don't think I'm afraid of meeting ghosts and supernatural existences. In fact, I wish they really existed so that I could actually experience them.

27. Morning people could also die... Who would miss them anyway?

28. When I was a kid I used to avoid swallowing gums after chewing them for hours. I thought they'd get stuck at my rectum exit door.

29. Cursing words are so helpful. They amuse me and simultaneously help me release anger. They are great because they sound great. Take some of them as an example: Bitch, Slut, Motherfucker, Bush, Shit, Asshole, and others. But my number one word is FUCK! I love to say:"FUCK OFF!" It's versatile. It can be used in any part of the speech as it had been mentioned in some other site. The F-word shouldn't be considered a forbidden vernacular. It could be said at any moment, by any person, within any situation. Imagine a straight-A student's speech being delivered at the commencement cerimony: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm fucking honored for being chosen amongst so many fucking good folks to give out my deepest words on this so fuckin' special day. Fuck all the losers who didn't manage to get here. We all know how hard we had to work it through. Some may have said - 'you're fucking crazy to go to college!'... But I said: "Hey, I'm no fuckin' idiot... I know can I make it..." And I did. We all fuckin' did!..."

30. My young students are so smart. I get way impressed by their knowledge toward technology matters. They know everything about hardwares, softwares, computer games, internet search tools, virus, and hacking. They really nail how to screw our PCs and files at PBF.

31. New curtains have been installed at my school. Some classrooms and the multimedia room is so much cozier now. I'm typing this post placing an ear-to-ear smile... Just can't control the bliss.

32. I've just now decided to register one of my blogs that I've been lately busy on:
taxonomytherapist.blogspot.com


33. Gee... can't remove this smile... Woo-hoo!!!

34. Now, my working hours are over. I am free. How I enjoy this feeling that I've accomplished my duties. I drink this cold canned beer with some much pleasure. I'm sitting in front of this computer without shoes on. My feet breathe fresh air. They're both free too. And let me not forget to mention that fart I had been holding for hours... OKay... Greaaat. Relief!!! I'm sorry If I may have offended someone about the farting part, but these folks should know that normal people tend to fart every now and then...

35. Eye drops, nose drops, cough drops... My body is 90% drops.

36. Apostrophes are fun and at the same time they scare me. People overuse them sometimes. Abbreviations are also insane. They help us save time but they also murder our will to communicate. In chatrooms, why can't I just type thoooose loooong sentences filled with enriched verbs and all the letters that are required to compose an entire and true statement? Why? Why?

37. http://www.pbf.com/caxiasdosul

38. People who don't smile, you know, those that never ever smile get on my nerrrves. That is what I wrote a few years ago. Now, I am the one who doesn't smile. Depression mood on.

39. Do you wanna be sad? Do you really need sadness in your life? Watch this and tell me what else is necessary for the rest of your days...

40. Some possible, breathtaking, and outstanding names for my someday-new-born baby: AVANT GARDE, SOLACE, DESTINY, MAVERICK, BLAZE, DAKODA, CINSERE, DIVINE, HEAVENY, KAYTAQUANA, BUBBA, and NABUCODONOSOR.

41. I was raised in Transylvania. Now, that explains many things.

42. I don't let HTML codes rule my life... Well, sometimes they seem smarter.

43. I wish I could make all my students understand that nothing would be fun if it weren't an obstacle. It's easy to understand but just a little hard to explain.

44. I can't remove this huge smile on me... What the f*ck is going on? Zoloft.

45. I'm not sleepy or tired either - this is just insaaaane.

46. Since I can't bump into those I love, I write them bump sticker messages.

47. I'm just glad I don't read people's mind.

48. But I can hardly ever breathe with this shitty alergy. Heeeelp!

49. I can't wait to get my dig camera... it's coming soon. (As a matter of fact, I'd written this 49th thought two days prior I actually got the camera!). I have already destroyed 2 Sony digital cameras and my husband broke a video one. 10x bummer.

50. Isn't this post ever going to end???

51. gee, I am getting older.

52. I have been having allergies and non-stop sneezing times for over a month now. Yesterday I woke up with runny nose and today wasn't different. I can't stand this. It's hard to breathe. It's hard to talk. It's hard to have breakfast. I could have those analgesic medicines or just some nose drops, but they'll make me feel dizzy after a while. The best thing is wait and hope to get over it. Maybe I should see a doctor but I hate doing that. I haven't seen a doctor for a while. I hate doctors. Here, in Brazil, they work wearing white - just plain white. Dentists do too. The way they dress and the way they normally treat their patients scare me. My sister is going to graduate in a medical school by the end of this year. She'll have to wear those plain white outfits and probably start talking like the average doctors do. They look like ghosts to me. Hospitals are scary places too. People must walk back and forth quiet there so that they don't disturb their patients. Libraries are calm and quiet places as well but they don't frighten me. Honestly speaking, I love libraries. I get beyond excited in those aisles, in between those tall shelves, surrounded by that smell of old books and silver-fished encyclopedias. And the dusty materials make me sneeze and promote in me allergical reactions. But I won't see a doctor. Hell no! Just keep in mind that this post written a long time ago, so my health condition is a lot different from this description.

53. "The bitter tears of Petra Von Kant" = Mint chewing gum to my bad breath. Long live "FASSBINDER"!

54. Speaking of swear words, here I listed some in French:
// Foutrez vous! / Putain, fait chier, merde, ta gueule / Putain de bordel de merde / Va Te Faire Foutre! / Quel Con or Conne //

55. Pineapples are good even though they worsen my heartburns. On the other hand, coffee does a great job in my mind's need for alertness.

56. My cleaning lady threw away my authentic Japanese chopsticks which were a gift from a former boss. She broke my heart.

57. I was gonna left a blank on this thought because I sometimes have 'out' moments in my brain... It's not really that meditation stuff, it's simply a mental failure.

58. I saw SAW2 for the sixth time this week.

59. Technology excites me. However nerd folks turn me really off.

60. CPR/ JVC/ CEO / VCR/ PEC/ REM/ CD-R/ RATED PG/ ID/ I-4/ BRB/ DUI/ ISO/ USA/ UFO/ NRA/ INS/ BJ/ GBH/ BMW/ AOL/ NFL/ TRL/ ASAP/ DVD/ PG-13/ CNN/ DNA/ PBS/ PBF/ UPN 44/ NIN/ MSN/ NOFX/ IRS/ DDR/ CEE/ CEI/ ESL/ RPG/ TGIF//

61. My latest google searches:
@Steve Wonder Driving School;
@How to rub while robbing the elderly;
@Spring Break drunk girls' GPA;
@Asian Backstreet Boys MP3 tunes;

62. Another something I enjoy seeing to get amused...

63. Some words in English language are so much amuzing to pronounce: girlfriend, worldwide, gurgle, gorgeous, granted, Garfield, goblet. They make feel more articulate.

64. "Comment je pourrai vivre sans mon amour, est-ce que la vie va continuer encore ou bien elle va s arrêter à son tour..."

65. While trying to finish this post, hubby saw a stupid driver running over a stray cat. The reckless idiot drove off and the cat crawled to the neighbor's yard apparently with its both back paws broken. (Break to help out the little animal!)*

66. I don't understand phone books and yellow pages in my country. I don't know if I'm the problem or if there is something else.

67. Tuesdays are still my favorite TAG!

69. Is there anyone actually reading this?

70. I've been addicted to GYOZA. Now, as I have gone vegetarian, my addiction goes somewhere between veggie gyoza and veggie eggrolls... so good.

71. My job is the greatest in my opinion. I can't see myself doing anything different. The smile of a child who's just discovered the rules of the world makes me feel grand; it makes me feel living my own life from the beginning all over again. Now that I have been depressed and all

72. I hate you in many languages:
@ Eu te odeio!
@ Ich hasse dich!
@ Je vous déteste!
@ Yo te odio!
@ Jeg hader dig!
@ Nienawidze cie!

73. I'd like a spider as a pet.

74. Why is the cold weather taking too long to arrive here???

75. Laila's opposite personality would say: "My Dig. Camera has brought me so much joy: taking pictures is my latest hobby for my every free-time. And hell, they are a lot. Yeah... You know, it's hard when we have this sort of life style that must be filled with healthy activities, otherwise I could end up broke because of my uncontrollable shopping obsession. Too much spare time plus too much money and nothing in the head is a deadly combination - Yeah... I've been considering to get a job too. Actually, this job thing is only another speculation. I can't see myself having to wake up early and respecting working schedules... Yew!"

76. Drivel shovel shrivels bubbling babbles.

77. What's the point on saying "GOOD LUCK"??? If we take into consideration that every event has its probability of occurence... Accordingly, Good Luck is defined as the occurence of, out of a set of possible events, one event with comparitively low probability of occurence and yet beneficial to the current situation of the considered subject or event or process. So when a lucky situation happens, it is because it was already supposed to. So how come we still say that in non-possible occurences of luck???

78. Still there? Doubt it!

79. http://thepawnbroker.blogspot.com/

80. Check these out:
ENGLISH: "The limits of my language mean the limits of the world"
CATALÀ: "Els limits de la meva llengua són els limits del món"
EUSKARA: "Nire hizkutzaren mugak munduaren mugak dira"
ESPAÑOL: "Los limites de mi lengua son los límites del mundo"
FRANÇAIS: "Les limites de ma langue sont les limites du monde"
DEUTSCH: "Meiner Sprache Grenzen sind die Grenzen der Welt"
PORTUGUÊS: "Os limites da minha língua são os limites do mundo"
FINNISH: "Kieleni rajat ovat maailmani rajat"
ITALIANO: "I limiti della mia lingua sono i limiti del mondo"
RUSSIAN: "Predely moego yazyka oznachayut predely moego mira"
ESTONIAN: "Minu keele piirid on maailma piirid"
SERBIAN: "Granice mog jezika su granice sveta"
NORWEGIAN: "Mitt språks grenser er verdens grenser"
DUTCH: "De grenzen van mijn taal zijn de grenzen van de wereld"
MALTESE: "il-limitazzjonijiet tal-lingwa tieghi, ifisru l-limitazzjonijiet tad-dinja"

81. I've been chattin' on msn with some blogger friends: GABE and ANGE. MSN ? Say what?

82. Why does love exist?

83. Why is love called "love"?

84. What's the plan for tonight? It's Friday. It's drinking night. It's movie night... yeah yeah yeah, in my dreams! Gotta work tomorrow. Nevermind.

85. I can't really tell what's my favorite kinda music. However Punk Rock CD's are mostly found on the top shelves at my place. Then Hardcore... Yeah... But no EMO stuff, pls.

86. Hate mornings, hate Sundays, hate liver, hate pressure.

87. Believe it or not... I'm still smiling - Oh so unusual!!!

88. Aie aie... Liposuction would be good these days... Nope. I won't fall for the international media beauty standards. My extra pounds are necessary to make me be whom I have to.

89. Why do we love people????

90. Why do we feel that we have to love people???

91. I procrastinate - true - but at least I get things done in the end.

92. Let me swim in your blood vessels... Well... Maybe you shouldn't because I will clog them.

93. I can't wait to see my faaaaamily.

94. I was wondering if anyone has ever made a list of people he/she would kill if he/she had the chance to... I'm already working on mine:
- My former math teacher when I was in fifth grade. She certainly deserves to die;
- A bully girl from my seventh grade. I won't say her name here because she might read my blog;
- Bush father and Bush son;
- All sales call operators;
- Woody Allen (hihihi);
- Whoever invented cellphones.
Of course I'd kill myself afterwards coz I wouldn't ever want to spend a day in prison.

95. Tocqueville wrote so much great shit.

96. Hope you're reading this with a great soundtrack on the back. If not, here's a good hint for some noise:
"We're as stubborn as mules with our blood on fire
When we ain't at Sunday Mass
We'll look any man straight in his eyes and say
Kiss my Irish ass, you better kiss my Irish ass!"'

97. Some monkeys eat their own shit - "How smart! They recycle!!!"

98. Why is it so good to find out about those who block us on msn? What difference does that make after all? I'm a stupid child inside.

99. This is almost ending... be patient.

99. My voice has been hoarse again. No more hoarse voices, nowadays as I stopped drinking alcoholic beverages.

100. Congrats if you got through this lame possssstA.

101. I love. I don't love my job as much however I am still hanging in there. I love languages. I love many folks. I love many things. I love the abstract noun LOVE and the verb too. I had been down because loving this much can't be good at all. However, I'm dealing with better days.

*Later, I'll write more about the cat... It has just now been found.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Laughter has got to make me move on...

Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.

Bloody incident and query

There is an Atari Teenage Riot happening in my uterus... scheisse! Periods, not a big fan!
Every month I get rust-spotted underwear. I get sheets, pants, and public benches ruined. I have stained dining chairs, bus/car seats, and stools in bars. 

I am so bloated and not very attractive hehehe
I bleed for 8 days straight and I am sure I should be in the Guinness Book of records. I have already submitted my application form to Dublin. Apart from jokes, I suffer crippling cramps. I am having them now, accompanied with vomit but no diarrhea this time. Chances are, if you've had your period, you've had PMS, you know what I am writing about here. 

As a teenager, yours truly experienced a terrible incident involving getting my first period in that month while taking a Math test in 8th grade, during which I had a pair of jeans destroyed and I could only leave the classroom after everyone had been gone from the classroom. Traumatizing. Many people ask me if I didn't know to do the count of days so that I'd be prepared for when my period is supposed to show up... I did know that. I do the count as my birth control, however I keep forgetting THE DAY...

And you? Do you have a wretched, blood-soaked tale to tell? You may do so in the comments, or more anonymously via email. I have absolutely nothing against a super scatological story or let's go for a super sad medical tragedy, regardless feel free to share it.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Style Rookie

Self-portrait Tuesday

Light Fixtures

Tired of poor judgement coming from me...


I hate the idea of "new beginnings" that holiday seasons bring to our unconscious. Poor judgement, I think this is all the result of poor judgement. Poor judgement? Yeah, misjudgment, error of judgment, error, miscalculation, slip-up, slip, faux pas, mistake, oversight, anything that a bipolar mind would do. 

No one knows what is gonna happen in this country with the World Cup and all, people my start realizing that they need to learn the basics of English. My professional life must be back on track next year... but what if this is lack of perspective in reality, instead of expecting better economy for Brazil  and for the rest of the world next year. Sigh.  

This is my reality without judgement: I've been taking 200mg of quetiapine, an antipsychotic approved for the treatment of schizophreniabipolar disorder, and along with an antidepressant to treat major depressive disorder. And this is what I have been doing, taking quetiopine along with Zolofot 50mg since August, this year. I have felt sleepier and sleepier and lot more down with major black dogs rather going through stages of well-being as antidepressants are expected to work for you. I don't want to feel hyper, I just wanted to be me again. 

Bipolar patients are keen on false or poor judgement. 
This morning, my moods were quite deep and my emotions powerful. My mom called me early, for my standards, but fine, she's family. She's my mom. I rarely write about her here. Funny thing is that I talk about her all the time in real life. If I could be aware, all my contacts at this time would show me how my emotional state affects other people. I am glad and handful has already offered help. I could not tell her about my bipolarity. I simply announced that we are not going to São Paulo to visit them. Bummer.

In a way, it is good to spend ONE MORE VACATION home, doing nothing special, except for the blogging thing. I am so regretful that I set this tool aside. It could have served me better during down times. This can be either good or bad, but the growth in consciousness is usually very beneficial. I feel I am growing, I just don't know how.  One problem with this influence, however, is that I find it difficult to see any point of view but my own: a typical bipolar mind. And this is way far from being mature. Also, in dealings with a group there is a danger that I might feel that my own interests and desires are opposed to theirs, thus creating more potential for disagreement. Or worse, they just accept whatever I say, even though what I say may be wrong. 


Lesson for 2014: I must learn to detach myself somewhat in order to observe my feelings in action. Otherwise I will not be able afterwards to evaluate what I see without POOR JUDGEMENT.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Summer Time Mode On

the stars say...

Deeper understanding


...for someone who has confided in me
  • This quality of time will help you to develop a deeper understanding of those psychological areas that are connected with the experience of pain, suffering and rejection. 
  • This influence is especially well suited to so deepening the understanding of these interrelations that the first inklings of how to carry out a healing can be perceived. 
  • During this phase it is important to talk to other people who are interested in this theme. 
  • This time is well suited to penetrating the complicated connections and dependencies between human behavior, the psyche and early injuries - to differentiate between cause and effect -, whether for yourself or for someone who has confided in you.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I don't know who wrote this poem... So sorry for its author.

Suicide
My Bridge of sighs divides in two a town...
I stare into the river’s spew, 
It mirrors dumb despair, -
why worry what the world will do
when one’s no longer there? 
The grieving grass is hung with dew, 
shaved, stumpy trees stripped bare; -
shivering ghosts of greyish hue
in sharp autumnal air.
My bridge of sighs divides in two
a town of spirit spare, 
and therefore, by extension, too, 
linked life to - God knows where.
Where are the friendships once I knew.
the love that two should share? 
The once exciting avenue
of life’s an impasse where, 
as I past happiness review
with emptiness compare, 
the options, once so bright and blue, 
too soon seem tarnished, wear.
Forlorn men fenced off from the blue, 
worn faces, torn white hair -
from uniformity of view
I turn without a prayer.
For future life, reborn anew, 
nor prayer, regret, nor dare, 
a splash, some bubbles, all is  through ! 
Will anybody care ?  

18 June 1975 

R.E.M. = Random English Mayhem

Do these sentences mean the same? Anyone who understands English, please, help me out with this doubt...

She drove off. = She left by car.
He flew off to Chicago. = He left for Chicago by plane.

vacation cannot last forever, or else I will die of boredom

Puffy eyes for having cried to a documentary I had been watching minutes before I took these cell phone snaps
This is Roberto's action figure Royce Gracie, spl?, wandering in my makeup bank
I bought this manequim torso a couple of months ago. I paid 20 reais for it; it is less than 10 American Dollars
The manequim holds most of my necklaces. I am not a big spender
when it comes to accessories. I stick with the basics
A close up on this nice key ring I got from Gabriela, a student of mine
who has recently gone to NYC and brought me this delightful souvenir
And boredom is established  when vacation is lame lame lame... we will see til when.

Some of the things I hate about vacation are:
I notice that the car wash across the street is damn noisy.
There are children who show up at the neighbors' on weekends. They are also damn noisy.
Btw, I live on the ninth floor. Was I supposed to be listening to so much damn noise?
Insects everywhere all the time. Food gets spoiled much easier since it is summer - 30C average.
I'm a cat person and I live with 4 of them. They also don't like summer much due to their furry bodies.
Me, me, me  more about "me" later!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Came across this old post somewhere

There is so much selfishness in life. Exaggerated selfishness can be destructive sometimes. It can kill many other feelings. Joining forces - gathering minds, or really the attitude of holding hands - in its purest purpose -- can be placed under doubt. People don't trust one another anymore therefore they don't think quite possible caring for someone else in its most truthful way.

The lack of selfishness would be the acceptance for being altruistic.

I agree that there is a big difference between choosing to be altruistic and feeling altruistic. It is my hope that others will feel altruistic as a result of their own understanding of themselves. Even though I am aware of the altruistic feeling, I don't so much choose to be altruistic, but instead I acknowledge and understand the feeling for both what it is and its possible effects.

If one just 'tolerates' people's differences, then is he/she not just remaining ignorant? In fact, it isn't even that important that we know any of our similarities or differences, but instead that we have a mindset of openeness when it comes to experiencing and becoming aware of them - and therefore wouldn't we be aware of each other's feelings?
My  black dog has been a subject on this blog for such long time... 

Yes, one of the SOLUTIONS is elimination the fear of the unknown. In fact, this is directly related to how we deal with differences and selfishness. Each difference has its own degree of fear. Each fear has its own POWER to block the will to dive into the unknown!

That is why is needed to take some time to get into self-awareness which isn't only the understanding of oneself, but also the understanding of others, and of the environment which IDEAS can be found. There is a deepness to existence. It seems obvious to me that the understanding of ourselves is an effect of society. You can increase your awareness, but still remain in this effect. There is much more to explore. Understanding is a feeling, and words are just words, although they tell about feelings.

One should try harder to hold hands!
That one is in fact ME. "There are two special moments in life. The times when you are thinking about it, and every second in between. I see awareness as those times when I am thinking about my existence. A time to steer the ship based on the feelings and understandings generated by my thoughts..."

Great video on bipolar disorder...

Positive thinking

"Oh RLY?"

This is an excellent time for making plans for the future and creating organizational systems, as well as for all other intellectual and mental efforts. However, there is a tendency to avoid really difficult mental or intellectual problems, taking the easy way out instead. But if you can create the proper sense of discipline, you should be able to overcome these negative effects and make this a day of very creative mental activity. This influence opens up and sharpens your mind so that you see, even if subliminally, all the possibilities inherent in a situation. This enables you to turn it to your best advantage. Also this influence gives you a well-founded feeling of optimism, which in turn creates the well-known "power of positive thinking.

Wording Tuesday

scaf·fold·ing ˈskafəldiNG/ noun a temporary structure on the outside of a building, made usually of wooden planks and metal poles, used b...