Sunday, July 31, 2005

Dissociative Identity Disorder

"Identity" was a good movie I saw last weekend. I am a very big fan of psychological thrillers and I can say that that movie is a killer one (literally)! I guess it was recommended by a student of mine. I just know that it was my kind of entertainment. The murderer in that film suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder from where the title was derived.

I had never understood well that sort of disorder until I saw "Identity." Even though I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, nor psychotherapist, I've been always interested in comprehending all types of disorders, phobias, or psychosis.

The only formal education on disorders I've ever had was a
college course called "Introduction to Psychology"
which I took four years ago. Then, I could have general ideas of all the major characteristics for each kind of patient. I may be wrong on my attempt to digress about this disorder since I am no professional in that matter, so if you are and know that I made mistakes, report and correct me on the comment section.

I started writing about this issue not because of the movie per se, but because a few years ago I met a person whom I think has this condition. He is known in the city as being a crook, a deceiver, a person with crazy moral standards who enters small businesses and always try to close real good deals through his magnetism, eloquence, and most of all by pretending being someone he isn't for instance doctors, judges, lawyers, etc. He doesn't normally steal nor take real advantages of his victims, however he sells or buys people's dreams. Yeah, by now you've already realized that I was one of his victims which is true!

He entered my school in January 2003, on my birthday more precisely around 5:30 pm. The man was in dark business suit and had a pin on the left of an official lawyer's Brazilian association. He was a young judge from out of town who needed to take an English course only to understand International Law terminologies. I recommended him some dictionaries and websites about the topic but he had already bought and read the best materials found in the market (he showed me his own notes in pieces of scrap paper which were placed in a sort of appointment book). I was trying to make up his mind so I insisted that a course wasn't needed just for that. He then convinced me that I was going to enjoy lecturing International Law terminologies because more judges were interested in this sort of course and that no other institution in town was able to offer it. As we had recently opened our business, we thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to start off with a group of judge students who would be learning from our instructors. Don't even get me started with the tuition payment - fresh cash period. Just like a dream, but better - a lucid one!

4 days later, when I went to court to meet the other judges and probably set a schedule for the course, I found out he was lying. Right at the front desk, while the receptionist was saying that that man's name was fake -- there was no judge at his age, with his last name, not even with his appearance -- I felt a mix of disappointment and a bulk of admiration towards that individual because he had gotten me. My husband laughed his butt off about it. I did not find that funny at first, but now I giggle a little over that situation. What I can say, for sure, about that man is that he may have D. I. D. or he's just a talented forger.

Well, I know that D.I.D. is a mental condition and that is not a bit close to what I call: "my creative process for building characters." Although, those who suffer that disorder have to be highly creative, I guess. My point is that by being a 'maybe-writer' or someone who aspires to have any material published some day, I can assure that novelists are somehow dealing with Dissociative Identity Disorders
while composing their characters - at least that happens to me. I'd embody them and their lives experiencing other realms - especially when I close my eyes and freeze my hands floating over the keyboard. To build up my characters, I do go after other people's experience, personal information on auto and biographies, diaries, blogs, or just by talking to them. I am not a good "talker" but I am certainly a good listener, and probably a very very very easy person to be convinced too.

Curiosity Facts:

  • I haven't finished my translation jobs yet. I hope to conclude my work by the end of this week.
  • Tibby is recoverying pretty well from a spaying surgery. She jumps on furniture and purrs a lot when eating. The only supposed problem is that her stiches bother her a little since they jeopardize her outer beauty, but I have convinced her to rub some healing gel on the scar and I keep telling her that everything will turn out OK.
  • I am back on track with a novel that I started in 1999. I have the characters but I do not know what to do with them. I need a plot, a conflict, something to change the course of things.
  • Believe it or not, but I have met four more victims of that D.I.D. crook - he always introduces himself using the same first name - PAULO. They say he lives nearby, that's why I've already bumped into him countless times. He is never underdressed and seems to be carrying that appointment book wherever he goes. One of his victims told me that he has already been arrested however he is never kept more than two days in jail for the fact that no one presses charges of a real crime - Let's face it, he can't be sent to court just by performing people's personality! This disorder is simply tantalizing and amazing at the same time.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Hardworking Babe

If there is any person who really cares for reading this blog, I must say that I haven't posted anything since a week ago because we are not on summer vacation down here. My home is located in the southern hemisphere so we're having a harsh winter with NO vacation a-t a-l-l. Besides being a teacher and a language school owner, I also make my living out of
reviewing books and translating websites and that is what is demanding a lot of time from me. So, as soon as I have this website translation done, I'll get back here to fill this spot in with crap posts and have bogus boot lickers commenting on them... And let me not forget that I just love to cheat on my stats counter.

Monday, July 18, 2005

15 Random Thoughts and Queries

I. I just thought it would be cool to have a television set that comes with a special locator button for helping find missing remote controls.

II. I've dyed my hair black and have recently changed the colors of my walls here. My blogger friend Bulb is searching for other template colors and there are other friends that have completely deleted their sites from the web. Yeah, changes are tough.

III. I can't wait to restart my German classes.

IV. The worst movie I saw last week:
CLOSER. The best one I saw last week: SAW.

V. Freezing cold weather helps my facial skin get blush and dry. Freezing cold weather makes me hungry for pasta, thirsty for hot drinks, and eager to sleep in.

VI. Caffeine does not affect me anymore. I need to find another legal substance that would warm me up and make me more alert to kids' cheating strategies.

VII. Tibby has been in heat for the third time and she's recently turned 6 months old. What's with this girl???

VIII. I don't see point in sweeping the floor if there will be dust piled up again on the same spot the next day. And the same is true when it comes to brushing the teeth, the hair, changing the bed sheets, and all the dirty dishes on the sink - how come washing them??? Why??? WHY???

IX. I've been pretty much happy for the last three years since no Jehova Witness has found out my most current address.

X. Humans are pathetic because they have to struggle for survival - and that does not include hunting or fishing any longer. They worship imaginary figures, can't fart nor belch in public (in most societies that's not acceptable), spend every penny they earn to own a gadget topped on 4 wheels, need to wear clothes to disguise their body imperfections, pay fortunes to possess accessories made of gold, torture themselves aiming a standardized shape of so-called beauty, believe in everything TV says, intake food suplements, work out at gyms to buff their arms and legs... And all this to die in the end. Gee!

XI. Based on Contra's Blog -> How come serious people make me laugh? I even guffaw when they show up wearing business suit, tie, well-polished leather shoes and nails... So much amusing!

XII. Based on Frida Kahlo's Diary -> Why do I need legs to walk if I have wings to fly? Why does art have to make sense? Would I ever finish reading the books I have set aside?

XIII. Let's face it! Teenagers and kids do not need to own cellphones.

XIV. Redudant expressions are so useless and so much fun simultaneously - check them out: advanced warning / current status / final conclusion / sudden impulse / unexpeted surprise (DA best!) / small in size / first time ever (my personal favorite) / natural instinct (this should become a medical term) / future plans (subtle) / hot water heater / VIP people / ATM machine / join together / HIV virus / SAT test / may possibly / completely unanimous (lol) / and the best one - TOTALLY EXCELLENT - very Brazilian!!!

When I die I wouldn't appreciate my friends crying their asses off because they'd be missing me. "Crying" for me would not represent their deepest feelings nor would match with my character. At my funeral, I would love to see them laughing, but not laughing AT me, no... not that. They'd be cheering because they'd remember my best jokes, my worst bloopers, my dirtiest comments, and all my nonsense random thoughts. They would be served absynthe and only the most sophisticated fingerfoods at this gorgeous place. They'd make sure to take pictures with my corpse - after all, great parties like that do not happen every day. There would be loud live music and semi naked girls giving lap dances in private rooms, so that my husband - in case he is still alive - would have the first taste of how great it'll also be to be widowed. Oh Nelson.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Let us kill it, shall we?

"Saudade" is a Portuguese word. I am Brazilian and live in Brazil, hence I speak that language on the daily basis. So, I say I feel "saudade" for all those that are not around.

I miss = I feel "saudade"

Saudade is a noun. It is an abstract noun. We feel it when we can't be closer to the object, place, or person we miss. We kill it when are nearby that person, place, or object I latter mentioned!

When we don't feel it anymore, we say that we "killed" it!!! Yeah! Brazilians are able to kill what is in fact an abstract, intangible, unconnected to concrete reality, theoretical, not practical thing = SAUDADE.

I miss, therefore I feel it.

I feel it because my folks are not here when I need them the most. I feel it because my friends are not here to share my joy or help me out when I am down in the dumps.

I miss, therefore I know what "SAUDADE" is.

I miss the views of São Paulo, Londrina, and Florida. I miss my former apartment in Saint Petersburg and Mexican food. I miss most of the pals I made in this so incredible city in Pinellas County: Yayoi, Nadia, Melissa and Andrew, Priscila, Margarito, Fernando, Yuichiro, Regina, Naima, Dunja, Masako, Edi, Javier, Guillaume, Cédric, Kalina, Luiza, and Zakaria & Mie.

Saudades are not easy to be controlled. They come and go by their own means. I feel "saudade" for places, food ( as I said), and some special moments. This feeling can get really disturbing because it plants in our hearts the seed which will sprout a plant that'll connect us with the elements we've been missing as long as that "saudade" lasts.

Gee!!! It's not easy to understand if you're not able to sense it.

Curiosity Fact: When are you coming back??? I wanna murder this thing...

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Never Trust In Those That Are Only Loved

He had dark hair and a mustache in my first memory of him.
He rooted for my enemy soccer team.
He played card games that I never learned.
He used to talk with an accent and say idioms that I never understood.
He had enemies - my father always says, "never trust in those that are only loved" -
He even broke a bottle on a friend's head once.
He loved women and women apparently loved him.
He would cheer up any sad person through his gags.
Manuel was his name - my dear grandfather. The only one I met.
He is in heavens now, maybe against his will.
I bet he's gonna get bored there, oh well death sucks sometimes.
He loved his family and his family loves him.
He lived his life to the fullest.

My office is a "Horder's Shrine"

...and I am so proud of it! Ha.🎉🎉🎉