Sunday, April 29, 2018

New Addiction

Apple and banana McD's pies: irresistible!

Earlobe Plugs and Suicidal Ideation

I have stretched my earlobe piercing since 2013 or something. I have lost the count, to be honest. I am in love with fake jewelry. I wear some gold but only once in a while. I am always afraid of losing them. Many people ask me how many milimeters I wear. I cannot answer that precisely as I have not bought earlobe plugs in years. I honestly don't recall the size of jewels I stick on my earlobe holes. I don't even why that is important nor how come that can become a topic of conversation. I have been called crazy since ever and I've been wondering what makes people think I am crazy. To me, no one is crazy. Or maybe everyone is and only a few show their madness. Is it crazy to stick jewels in holes that people don't originally have? Ornaments are to embelish their bodies. They are not meant to make people look insane or look like they have some mental illness. I just know that it has been two years that I quit all sorts of psychiatric medication and that I have felt luck enough to have gotten rid of any suicidal ideation. However, I know that this kind of thought might be asleep somewhere in the back of my mind. I have got to start thinking on getting tattoos and maybe plastic surgery as my 42 years old are popping on my non-filtered photos. Long live stretched earlobes and tattoo artists. 😍😍😍

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Planting The Tree

According to the president of Rotary International, we had up to April 22nd to plant at least a tree. I planted three of them on the 21st. I made it to the deadline. I am a proud Rotarian. 😍

Friday, April 6, 2018


Once again, it took me months to get here and leave words that mean something to you and to me; well, mostly to me. I ain't got no money, no time, and no patience to partake my everyday experiences no more. However, this blog is still up. Things have changed in my life and in my country. We are recovering self-esteem and that is priceless.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

"Com nós"? E pode? Não.

1) Precedidos da preposição com, os pronomes nós e vós formam conosco econvosco.

2) Permanecem, contudo, as formas com nós e com vós, se tais pronomes vêm seguidos de outros, todos, mesmos, próprios ou oração adjetiva. Exs.: a) "O juiz falou com nós" (errado); b) "O juiz falou conosco" (correto); c) "O juiz faloucom nós todos" (correto); d) "Ele não falou justamente com nós, que lhe demos tanto apoio" (correto).

3) A tal lista de palavras que não deixam o pronome submeter-se à aglutinação, Júlio Nogueira acrescenta ambos: com nós ambos, e não conosco ambos.

4) Esses vocábulos que acarretam a mencionada aglutinação são denominados por Luiz Antônio Sacconi "palavras reforçativas".

5) Atente-se à síntese de Antenor Nascentes: "Embora regidos da preposição com os pronomes nós e vósassumam as formas noscovosco, deixam de assumi-las quando modificadas por todos, outros, mesmos, próprios, ambos. Assim dir-se-á: com nós mesmoscom vós todos etc.".

6) Para Domingos Paschoal Cegalla, "diz-se com nós quando esse pronome vem seguido de palavra reforçativa ou de numeral". Exs.: a) "Terá de entender-secom nós mesmos"; b) "Preocupamo-nos mais com ele do que com nós próprios"; c) "Discutia e brigava com nós todos"; d) "Ele saiu com nós duas".

7) Para Edmundo Dantès Nascimento, "não se empregam por eufonia as formasconosco e convosco seguidas de mesmoou próprio".

8) Também é oportuno citar a lição de Vitório Bergo no sentido de que, "não só por uma questão de eufonia, senão também, ao que parece, pela conveniência de assinalar a utonomia do pronome vós, confundido na forma composta, prefere-se a combinação com vós quando vem ele modificado por adjetivo". Excepciona, contudo, tal gramático: "há também exemplos, embora raros, daquela reminiscência do ablativo latino seguida de determinativo", alinhando exemplos, que realça serem raros, de abalizados autores: a) "Queria ver-vos mais generosoconvosco mesmo" (Camilo Castelo Branco); b) "E, se o valor de vossos amadores houver de ser igual convoscomesma..." (Camões).

9) Assim também para Silveira Bueno: "Não há erro algum em dizer... conoscomesmos, conosco próprios, expressões tão corretas quanto com nós mesmos,com nós próprios. É, porém, mais eufônica a separação:com nós mesmos,com nós próprios. Note bem: ambas as maneiras são corretas; esta última é apenas mais harmoniosa".

10) Também após ensinar, por um lado, que "os pronomes pessoais oblíquos, quando regidos pela preposição com, assumem as formas comigocontigo,consigoconoscoconvosco", o gramático Sílvio Elia complementa, por outro lado, que, "modificados por atributo ou oração relativa,... decompõem-se conosco e convosco emcom nós e com vós". Em seguida, entretanto, invocando lição de Sousa da Silveira, realça ele que "tal regra não é absoluta, pois, em tais casos, também se encontra o emprego de conosco econvosco, inclusive em Camões".

11) Ante a divergência entre os estudiosos, fica-nos a liberdade de empregar, em tais casos, a forma aglutinada (conosco e convosco) ou a forma analítica (com nós e com vós).

12) Sob outro aspecto, em interessante observação, adverte Sousa e Silva que "as formas comigocontigo e consigo não se decompõem nunca": comigo mesmo,contigo mesmo, consigo mesmo.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Sad 2018

Well, well, well I have no idea whether this is my first blog post this year as I sometimes pre program posting things here. However, this is the first time I type a post with my smartphone horizontally and I am literally typing using my both thumbs. To make it even more especial, I am typing by with sore joints as I have not mastered yet on the art of thumbing posting. Vacation has been meh suck apart from gaining weight ( kuddos to Ms.Laila as I have been way too below my expected weight, not like that youtuber Cooney, but my shoulder blades were too sharp). Another good thing is that I have been reading, letting my hair grow, and unboxing. I am about to turn 42 and that is satisfying though as I am a sober vegan and that has made me look even younger than my baby sis ( we have a 10-year gap). I love blogging and I do wish to blog more often this year which I do not want to grow huge expectation as just before new year's, I have received a fifth job proposal. Can I cope with 5 jobs? Did I tell you that I am a rotarian now? YAY to fight against Polio. 2018 was not even a thing and I am already packed with ideas. LIFE IS CRAZY and Laila is the lifest of all. I must have that written down on a Tee. Today we have gotten a new washing machine. This is worst sign for a new year.  Peace y'all.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Wording Tuesday




a temporary structure on the outside of a building, made usually of wooden planks and metal poles, used by workers while building, repairing, or cleaning the building.

the materials used in scaffolding.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

  1. Come to class and pay attention. This one should be a no-brainer. If you must miss class, e-mail your professor in advance and explain your situation. And when you’re in class, be visibly attentive; let your professor know you’re in the room.
  2. Learn to balance your studies and your job. Your job is not an end in itself but a means for you to go to university. To confuse those priorities is to defeat the very purpose of being here.
  3. Be prepared in advance for all of your assignments. This is called “studying.” Get used to doing it;  it will be your primary activity for the next four years.
  4. Read sitting up (not in bed), with a pencil to mark up the text. A clean text is an unread one. And whenever the professor reads a passage out loud, mark it if you haven’t done so already. It may be on the next test.
  5. Find a quiet, regular place to study. This is your special sanctum, for that purpose only. Don’t eat, listen to music, or entertain your friends there.
  6. Study in sessions of no more than an hour, then take a break. Three sessions of fifty minutes each week is better than three hours at one sitting. A general rule is two hours of study time for each hour of class.
  7. Finish your papers several days early so you’ll have time to revise them. Go to the Writing Center if you need help.  Read your paper out loud to a friend; you‘ll be surprised how many mistakes you catch.
  8. Know your professors’ office hours and take advantage of them. Talk to these people. They have an interest in helping you succeed--and get lonely during their office hours if no one comes.
  9. Go regularly to the library; knowledge is in books, not on Wikipedia. Consider your college education a bibliography for the rest of your life.
  10. Find an appropriate social outlet. The best students are well-rounded. A social outlet is not, however, a wild night on the town.  Join campus organizations or watch free on-campus movies.  Check the school newspaper for events happening both on campus and in the community.
  11. Begin studying for an exam a week early. And learn proper test-taking skills, e.g.: write identifications in complete sentences; make sure your essays have thesis and topic sentences; if you have a choice of topics, choose the one(s) that will show the breadth (not just depth) of your knowledge; and proofread your exam papers before submitting them.
  12. Enjoy yourself.  This should be, literally, the time of your life.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Heute bin ich wirklich.

Was ist wirklich?

Die Geschichte vom Holzpferd

„Das Holzpferd“, so heißt es, „lebte länger in dem Kinderzimmer als irgend jemand sonst. Es war so alt, dass sein brauner Stoffbezug ganz abgeschabt war und eine ganze Reihe Löcher zeigte. Die meisten seiner Schwanzhaare hatte man herausgezogen, um Perlschnüre auf sie aufzuziehen. Es war in Ehren alt geworden…
„Was ist wirklich“, fragte eines Tages der Stoffhase, als sie Seite an Seite in der Nähe des Laufställchens lagen, noch bevor das Mädchen hereingekommen war, um aufzuräumen. „Bedeutet es Dinge in sich zu haben, die summen und mit einem Griff ausgestattet zu sein?“ „ Wirklich“, antwortete das Holzpferd, „ ist nicht, wie man gemacht ist. Es ist etwas, was an einem geschieht. Wenn ein Kind dich liebt für eine lange, lange Zeit, nicht nur, um mit dir zu spielen, sonder dich wirklich liebt, dann wirst du wirklich.“

„Tut es weh?“, fragte der Hase.
„Manchmal“, antwortete das Holzpferd, denn es sagte immer die Wahrheit. „Wenn du wirklich bist, dann hast du nichts dagegen, dass es weh tut.“
„Geschieht es auf einmal, so wie wenn man aufgezogen wird“, fragte der Stoffhase wieder, „oder nach und nach?“
„Es geschieht nicht auf einmal“, sagte das Holzpferd. „Du wirst. Es dauert lange. Das ist der Grund, warum es nicht oft an denen geschieht, die leicht brechen oder die scharfe Kanten haben oder die schön gehalten werden müssen. Im allgemeinen sind zur Zeit, da du wirklich sein wirst, die meisten Haare verschwunden, deine Augen ausgefallen; du bist wackelig in den Gelenken und sehr hässlich. Aber diese Dinge sind überhaupt nicht wichtig; denn wenn du wirklich bist, kannst du nicht hässlich sein, ausgenommen in den Augen von Leuten, die überhaupt keine Ahnung haben.“
„Ich glaube, du bist wirklich“, meinte der Stoffhase. Und dann wünschte er, er hätte es nicht gesagt – das Holzpferd könnte empfindlich sein. Aber das Holzpferd lächelte nur.

Aus dem Kinderbuch: “The Velveteen Rabbit“, M. Williams, New York

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Following through

This is a good time to take the initiative and start a new project. It will go very well, because you will have the insight as well as the energy to follow it through to the conclusion. During this time you will be most strongly motivated toward tasks that bring credit to you and express you as an individual. Greater self-confidence usually accompanies this influence, so if you have to present a project to someone, you will be able to do it much more effectively. Everything you do now will give you greater self-assurance and the extra drive and confidence that you will need in the future, when things may not run as smoothly. Probably the worst way to handle this influence is to do nothing, for you will lose an opportunity to prove your own worth to yourself.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

13th or 14th blogiversary😎

It all started as a place to post my US college papers and whatever came about in the English language to keep up my writing skills. Back in 2000s, little did I know about paid webblogs. I was not familiar with the idea of sharing credit card info on the website just to maintain a virtual diary. Back in those days there were no laptops at home. I had no home per se. Hubby and I lived in the back of a language school and blogging was too strange for me. I had MySpace though and an Orkut profile. Messaging through MSN was  the most natural and the coolest thing to do at that moment.

George Orwell, Leszek KolakowskiVoltaireBaruch SpinozaThomas PaineThomas JeffersonGeorge EliotLeon TrotskyRosa LuxemburgJohn Stuart MillJoseph HellerRichard DawkinsDaniel DennettSam HarrisNoam ChomskyGore VidalEdward SaidSalman RushdieVladimir NabokovRichard LlewellynAldous HuxleyPG WodehouseEvelyn WaughRichard HofstadterPaul Mark ScottJames JoyceAlbert CamusOscar WildeConor Cruise O'BrienMartin AmisKingsley AmisJames FentonJessica MitfordIan McEwanColm TóibínBertrand RussellWilfred OwenIsrael ShahakIsaiah BerlinW. H. AudenSusan Sontag
Through the influence of thinkers, emotional turmoils, and a strong desire to get a poetry book published , I started writing like a freak. I'd carry notepads and pens everywhere I went. I got two or three digital cameras, got laptops and stablishing this blog seemed the only way out for depression, overwhelmed thoughts, and body pain. We were still living in the back of the school, but at least I had cable TV. It is a crazy thought looking back and knowing that we survived weekends and holidays without Netflix or YouTubers. Yeah. True. Youtube was a real then, but YouTube users had not figure out their potential to turn their pages into channels, with shows, edited, with promos, sponsors, and fans. If I only knew...


We bought our condo. We quit drinking, eating red and white meat. Years later we would become vegan and libertarian. WiFi was playing a major role in our lives. Wireless printers, wireless everything. Smartphones and  tablets were the cherry on top of these years. We traveled abrod three times, another unlikely thing that happened. We were in the midst of heaven surrounded by demons. Evil took over my unconscious and I truly believed I was insane. This blogspot was my safety harbor, my lighthouse, my anchor, whatever metaphor related to sailors... I was lost in tormented deep sea waters with lightings and stormy skies. I went after professional help: psychologists, numerologists, astrologists, psychiatrists, religion... Where, where? College. I started taking psychology and had we not had national financial crisis, I could've graduated. Love learning all about deep issues on human brains and their consequences and built-up mental disorders.

2013 - 2017

5 semesters have passed and I became a college drop-out, neither a proud nor a shameful one, however dropping out of college was a reasonable decision to make. After getting married in Vegas and taking students to train English in Dublin and in Florida, we began taking baby steps to the end of the rope. Crisis, unnemployment,  high crime rates, lack of hope, and so many negativity took over Brazilians and the only thing left to do was to shut down our school and make a 180° degree move: going back home was the best solution. We moved back to São  Paulo due to my sister moving and leaving one of our family's business... That would be the end of 20 years of family strength and dedication. On March 3rd 2018 will be 2 years we are back in São Paulo state. I don't wanna seem shallow or infantile or even nonsense, but coming back home was one of the worst and the best restarts in my life. Here, I have being doing more things that I would not have probably done, had I stayed in the south: I founded a magazine, I teach high schoolers and preschoolers as well, here I have gotten pregnant and have miscarriage... I have got a car accident. I have got my own drum kit and bass guitar. I have changed my hair color 19 times in less than two years. I've broken my nose by falling from bed. Hubby has got free diabetis treatment. Unthinkable and unsinkable things have touched us and it is true... almost none of these things are being registered in this blogsphere. I have neglected my blog. I wish I had more time for it.
Happy 13th/14th.

I cross my heart that I will take better care of My Pawnshop.

Friday, October 20, 2017

The 19th Wedding Anniversary

Roberto and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 16. We have lived together, under the same ceiling for 19 years. We are both in our early 40's but we do feel we had met before. We are both Spiritsts which means we are Christians who believe in reincarnation, and that there is a purpose on being on this planet. Life is temporary however our souls never die. I know it may sound strange and even awkward but I cannot convey materialistic views. Humans and animals are inhabitants to live in harmony and bind in kindness and togetherness. It looks us years to fully believe and practice veganism, an alcohol free lifestyle and exercise more. Little actions can turn into enormous actions if they are played with love. I literally love my job, my home, my cats, my family, my writings, music, poetry, and my hubby. Roberto has supported me at all my dark moments. I miscarriage to this year. Among all the crap I had to take in 2017, this was the harshest. We even had a car accident in Santa Catarina state... It didn't beat the miscarriage. I got my set of drums (finally). We are having a real Halloween party at our school (finally again). We have air conditioned our home (that is a plus plus). I am sure I am leaving behind my best accomplishments...but hey, it has been 19 years and 3 UFCS of pure love. Happy Anniversary to us.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Is it the end of it all?

A bit of imagination

I can’t push the knife in

I can’t make the cut

I can’t turn the wheel

I can’t step off the kerb

I can’t take the pills

All I can do is imagine

I picture the knife going in

I imagine the lorry hitting

I see the wall racing towards me

I dream of drifting away

Escaping the  empty days

Not enduring the lonely nights

Not having to deal with this

Or cope with them

Or struggle with that

No more thinking

No more worry

No more envy

No more hating myself

No more anger

But there’s no coming back.

By Sudhakar Patel

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

from some time ago... from a certain job

I get it.
I had a student hurt my feelings last week. Words that cut deep and wounded because there is always an element of truth perceived by the one being sarcastic.
And I’ve been icing my bruises all afternoon.
The school year is winding down, and I’m tired. I know you’re tired, too. Exhaustion is seeping in. We’re wondering if we’re going to end better than we began, or if our students will be dragging our limp bodies across the finish line.
My seniors may have three weeks left, but they checked out a month ago. Some days I wonder why I even bother to have a lesson. I could just assign a reading passage and the questions to answer from the end for the next fifteen school days.
There are teachers out there who do that…
I understand why.
I spend days and weeks begging and pleading, attempting to try anything that might, just might, get my students to read the books I assign.
I craft lessons and talk about stories and show video clips in every attempt to get my teens to think outside of themselves—to see the world and its nuances. Then I spend lunch wiping the tears of the one bullied and outcast.
I stay up to grade essays and comment on ways to improve their writing. Hours spent away from my family only to wonder if it makes any sort of difference when I see those same essays in the trash.
So by this time of year, I’m ready to call it quits. Every year wondering if I can do it again.
I know you understand. I know you feel the same. I know you have nights you wonder why you chose this profession, this teaching, this pouring out of your life into hearts day after day after day.
But really? You didn’t choose teaching.
It chose you.
For me, college was spent denying the very thought of teaching. It was only a far-in-the-background safety net if the writing thing didn’t work out.
The only job I could get right out of college?
Yep. Teaching.
By Christmas that first year I said never again.
I’ve been teaching thirteen of the last seventeen years, and now there’s no other job I’d enjoy more. (Unless being a travel writer for Condé Nast was an option…Are they hiring? Tahiti sounds like heaven right now.)
It is my calling. It is my purpose.
But here’s the thing about calling. God doesn’t call us to the easy. He invites us to the hard. The get-your-hands-dirty difficult. We are not promised perfect just because we are fulfilling our life’s purpose.
Because that kid with the bitter sarcasm? He or she may still need your smile that you might not want to give.
And your class after lunch with 20 big teenage boys and only five girls, all hyped-up with sugar, dyes, and processed foods and IEPs and 504s? They need to know they’re worth the effort even when they themselves show none.
And those children from broken homes with parents who shatter each other with words or fists? They need a quiet heart to stand beside them, even though you know politicians only see their test scores and not their homes.
And those students with apathy so thick you fear they will never feel anything? For anyone? They need to see that transparency breathes a beautiful life. They need to see it in you, even when the see-through heart leaves you an easy target.
Teaching was never about us. If this profession has called your name, you’re only ever in it for the students.
That’s why it hurts so much when they act like they don’t care or when the disrespect slaps us hard across the face, and the sting burns for days.
I know you’re tired. You’re battle weary with wounds seeping and scarring. But they still need you.
They need to see your fight.
Don’t give up, my friend. You can’t. I can’t. The stakes are too high. This calling, this profession, this teaching—it changes the future.
Our students are worth starting new tomorrow. They are worth giving it all we have one more day again and again and again.
Because there are students listening. There are students learning. There are students caring. We must refuse to allow the loud voices of a few to drown out the soft voices of teachable spirits.
Let’s fight together, friends. Let’s end this year better than we began. Let’s cheer each other on tomorrow and the next day and the next until we hear that final bell ring.
This is our calling. These are our students.
They deserve our fight.

5 days late...