Saturday, September 27, 2008

My Modeling Tibby

These are nice photos taken by Debbie, a wonderful student of mine, while she was petting Tibby. She loves cats and Tibby loves those who love cat. Cats always play fair games.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Awkward conversations starters to avoid:

1. "You know anything about rectal itch?

2. "I spoke to Jesus last night. Jesus Christ, that is."

3. "Hustler printed my letter... wanna see?"

4. "They think they can fire ME? I'll show 'em."

5. "TB, my ass. Those doctors don't know nuthin' (cough, cough)."

6. "Hey, nice pants!"

7. "Does this look malignant to you?"

8. "Yep, I used to smoke too before my sex change."

9. "What wine goes good with human flesh?"

10. "You look like a nice guy. I'll do you half-price."

11. "How does your light shine in the halls of Shambala?"

12. "Do you believe in life after love?"

13. "Hey buddy, do you know where the nearest blood bank is?"

14. "You wanna buy a midget?"

15. "Would you like some candy?"

16. "You look a lot like my old prison buddy."

17. "Woof, woof!"

18. "Wanna see something weird?"

19. "I always fart when I cough."

20. "What time does the President's motorcade pass through here?"

21. "We meet again, eh, Herr Doktor?"

22. "I'm wearing a thong... backwards."

23. "You don't look so tough."

24. "Sure is a nice day for a hanging."

25. "Relax... it's not real."

26. "Can you give me directions to the nearest playground?"

27. Damn, you shor' gots a purty mouth."

28. "See something you like, mister?"

29. "Do you like monkeys?"

30. "I shall haveth thine soul before the morrow."

31. "Assume the position."

32. "Do you have the document?"

33. "I just let the dogs out."

34. "Pardon me, Earthling... may I obtain a saliva sample?"

35. "Watch this..."

NOTE: Got this from

Friday, September 19, 2008

What's up with restaurant people?

I live in a city located in Rio Grande do Sul state, Southern Brazil, situated in the state's mountainous Serra Gaúcha region. Its name is Caxias do Sul. It was established by Italian immigrants on June 20, 1890. It is the second largest city in the state. The demonym of those who are from here is "caxiense". Today, "caxienses" are celebrating the War of the Farrapos, therefore it is holiday. The celebration has parades, festivals, and long horseback ridings. Since I am not originally from this area of Brazil, to me, this holiday is not so meaningful as it is expected to be. I was just very thrilled for having a Saturday off. I usually work until 5 or 6 p.m. every Saturday. I like holidays in general to enjoy what is best: a nice excuse to eat, drink, party, and so on.

As I could get up late and enjoy my lazy-day, I decided to have lunch out. We drove miles away to get to know a new place. This grill restaurant was recommended by my huband's student and according to his opinion, we would enjoy the food there. So, we did go there for lunch and to our surprise, the place was an all-you-can-eat buffet. I am not very fond of buffet places, but that hadn't ruined my lunch experience so far. Wait until you read the rest...

We sat at a table we had to choose ourselves. I don't think it is a big deal for a restaurant NOT to have a host or hostess to help guests find a table. The lunch place was not crowded and besides it is pretty wide to walk through the tables. We got a table by the buffet. Fine. A waiter came to us and presented their prices and drinks available. It has been a quite cold day, so I had to order wine. The waiter asked: Chadornay,Cabernet or Merlot. I picked my favorite: MERLOT.

I could not help noticing that he was pouring the wine from a box. Fine again. The waiter arrives and places the carrafe I had asked on the table while saying: "Here is the 'Cabernet' you've ordered." I said I was sorry but I was going to drink the merlot. He, then, said that in order to get merlot wine, he would have to open another box and that box was stored at some place far from the lunch venue, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I said. I'll take the cabernet. I sensed the wine before tasting it, as I always do, and it did smell funny to me. I sipped a bit and then I became certain that that wine was spoiled. I don't think wine boxes are yucky, but for a restaurant, they don't hold the wine flavor for much long. I have checked and people say it can last okay for 6 weeks, but that is shorter than two months. As that is a lunch place, I bet they don't get to sell wine very often. It was spoiled for real.

I had to ask the waiter and convince him that I was not going to drink the wine, but not because he had brought me a cabernet instead of merlot, but because that wine was spoiled. He went to the back to get a new merlot box for me, while we waited. Meantime, the manager came to our table to check on us. We explained we were waiting for a better wine. The manager himself brought a sample of a cabernet and merlot combined which tasted wonderful. So, all they wanted to do was to talk me into taking that wine insted of the merlot. I said it was okay to have that wine instead. The waiter came back, then, carrying a carrafe which looked pretty similar to the first one. I smelled the wine, and it was the exact same spoiled liquid. My husband and I had to laugh at the situation, call the manager and cancel that order. Things got quite dramatic because seconds later, the waiter and the manager were right by our table arguing over whose fault that was. We ended up drinking a beer.

End of the story: the cashier/owner did tab the wine on our check, but we refused to pay since we hadn't drunk that carrafe. He said he would compliment it, only at that time, in the accounts of my not knowing how to taste wine like asking for small samples (how could he say such thing?). I said that he was expected to compliment the wine as being an obligation of his business since he is not to sell rotten food or drink to the public . Plus, he is responsible to train his staff to offer free samples before the guest decides on which one to take. Oh, well... The food turned out being worse than the spoiled cabernet/merlot. The cashier/owner cursed us and said that he doesn't need guests like us. Roberto finished the quarrel by saying: "You don't deserve my money." What a hassle. What a nuisance.

Roberto and I have already worked in restaurant business and we do know it's quite difficult to please people. But that was unnecessary and unacceptable. We are definitely making up for this tomorrow. For Sunday lunch, Roberto is gonna take me to a better place which we have already been to. The photos you can see down below were taken in the restroom of this good place we are used to going on Sundays. And I will honestly say to my husband's student that that place actually sucks in all matters: food, drink, and the real disaster: a crappola service.

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

a flork message...

Hi there,

Thanks for the good words... They cheered me up a great deal. Down here, things aren't fun either. I keep reposting old entries on my blog as I haven't been feeling like writing much. It's been wildly crazy around here. Been working my butt off and hardly ever getting rewarding smiles or fullfilling words from my students or their parents. Let´s not get started with the adults... since i teach all ages, I get to realize that, no matter people's age, I will always have hard time to get my teachings across. My methods are far from traditional and that is just the way I am. The lack of tradition and my faulty memory is never forgiven and I don't blame them. I never rely on note pads, or palm tops, or my pc to write down my tasks and that kills me. I sometimes try to start standard procedures but in two or three days I am totally out of them.

Maybe for the fact that I do not have a child of my own, people don't see me responsible enough to teach kids well... or they believe that I just can´t make them behave properly in class. I don't know what to do with brats who talk back to me. I am not the kind of teacher who likes to use authority as a tool to get what is best out of my students as I don't think this is the right way. I can't work with slower minds. I can't handle people with learning disorders. I am not perfect. I just can't be that.

I don't write as often as I want and I don't get to write about everything I deeply want since many of my students read my blog and I would feel really uncomfortable to write all I want. Perhaps, I'd better initiate another blogspot and at this time I'm not gonna advertise it. Keeping it personal and that would be it.

I am really sorry that it takes me too long to reply my flork messages or that I don't give feedback on your comments on my blog. That all happens because I am a way crazy busy individual who has difficulties in dealing with all my duties and efforts. My life is hard and I can really say that. It is hard not because of my overwhelming 42 hours in class weekly, besides extra hours handling admnistrative school matters, and on top of all those things I also live in the school building because I can't afford a home, blah, blah, blah... My life is not hard for all that... It is hard because I work with people and people DO suck.

you take care,

My office is a "Horder's Shrine"

...and I am so proud of it! Ha.🎉🎉🎉