Thursday, December 30, 2004
Who cares? It's almost new year and it is important to set some goals for the next 12 months!
Work out and lose 3 pounds;
Read more and organize my study notes;
Post in this blog more often, write more poems in Portuguese and finish up my book;
Neither take offense and nor accept being offended easily;
Catch up with all teacher's duty at my school;
Drink more water and less wine (that will be difficult!);
Take care of my place as it was a little spot of Heaven;
Listen to music more usually and see even more movies at theaters;
Don't allow the dishes get pilled up on the sink (Hard one too!).
I will post here some of my latest poems in English. Have been taught this language and have been able to communicate using this code for such a long time that it's way much easier to me to generate verses using the yankees' phonems, spelling, and pictured sentence structures such as idiomatic expressions, idioms, and even slangs.
I am not excusing myself for having chosen English to write my posts and poems. I am trying to tell myself that being a writer (regardless it's for mere fun...) who writes in a language which is not his/her mother tongue isn't an easy task and it takes a great deal of responsibility. I guess I can handle the obstacle for its difficulties and I am filled with responsibilities...totally.
TIRED OF THE SUN…
COVERAGE IS MY AIM
FORCING THAT, IT WOULDN’T BE WORTHWHILE
PURE PROTECTION POWERED BY AN ANGEL,
A FIGURE JUST LIKE YOU
COVER ME UP, COVER IT ALL UP
TENDERLY, SWEEP MY DUST
ORGANIZE MY PICTURES
FOLD MY CLOTHES
HEAT MY BED
BRUSH MY HAIR
BEING TOUCHED IS MY ULTIMATE GOAL
WOULDN’T MANIPULATE THAT, IT’S JUST NOT THE CASE
STERLING SOUL FREE FROM SINS
DRINK MY MILK, WASH YOUR PALE FACE WITH IT
CHEERFULLY, CONDUCT MY HANDS
SEW ME WINGS
WASH MY WOUNDS
PLANT SOME DAISIES
AND LET THEM BLOSSOM ONLY IN JANUARY
A SOFT TEAR WIPER IS WHAT I WANT
JUST A DELICATE KISS WOULD DO
AN UNPRETENTIOUS BIRTHDAY PRESENT…
TO BLOCK THE SUNLIGHT TOO
CAN’T STOP ME
CAN’T CHOKE ME TO DEATH
THEY MAY EVEN TRY
THEY MAY JUST WISH FOR
CONSEQUENCES WILL BE GREATER
SEDIMENT FALSE APPEALS
CAN’T CONTROL ME
CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF
HOLD ME AND DO IT FIRMLY
THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP ME OFF
ENHANCES MY CREATIVITY
MANAGES MY ANGER
CONSEQUENCES WILL BE AWFUL
CONTRADICTING THAT - IMPOSSIBLE
CAN’T POUR ME ANOTHER ONE?
OH, SAY! CANNOT, HEY!
THAT’S NOT THE WAY
THERE IS NO UMBIVALENCE
SOME SAY SORRY
OTHERS SAY NOTHING
CAN’T JUST TAKE A BREAK
MY FEELINGS GET JUST FAKE
MORE THAN ANYONE CAN TAKE
THAT’S IS A BIG OLD MISTAKE
W-O-R-D-S (...to a friend)
WORDS ARE STROKES ON CANVAS, ARE NOTES IN MUSIC, ARE SHAPES IN OBJECTS, ARE BLOOD IN PEOPLE. WORDS CAN BE SHARP, AS SHARP AS RAZORS. CAN CUT DEEPER THAN A FAST STAB, AND A STABBED SKIN IS A MIND FILLED WITH TRUE THOUGHTS, WRITTEN THOUGHTS RHIMING ON A CHEAP BAR NAPKIN. NAPKIN PLACED ON A DIRTY MAN'S LAP. WORDS CAN BE POWERFUL AND PAINFUL TOO. CAN HIT HARDER THAN A FISTED PUNCH - PUNCH OF DRUNK WANDERERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. WORDS CAN KILL, CAN MURDER LOVERS AT DAWN, CAN HURT AS BAD AS DEADLY SHOT GUNS... AND ALL BECAUSE OF THE EVIL THAT LIES IN EVERYONE AND IT IS KEPT INSIDE. THAT EVIL THOUGHT WHICH CAN'T BE HIDDENCAN'T BE DISGUISED. WORDS CAN BE SPIT, CAN BE SAID AS IT WOULD WEIGH TONS. THEY OFFEND THE SPINAL CHORD OF THE PURE LISTENER. WORDS ARE MEANT TO DESTROY WHEN ONLY USED THAT WAY...
Mind your business, I should say
Care about your own wounds, if that might help
See for yourself, in case you are not able to believe
Show me the money, since you are all that
Never stop the music, if your senses can handle
Surprise others sometimes, for crying out loud.
There are gaps among cultures, as you may have noticed
Relax and don’t insist
Cheering yourself up is easier than you might think
Force an entrance and be the spotlight
Divine is your soul and you know it
Take it, grab it, squeeze it, and burst it
Elevators won’t lift if you don’t press the button
Is he, she, it never there when you need the most?
Take a hike, dump a load and say “FUCK OFF”
Feel the breeze which fall has brought us
Check out your surroundings…
…and splash it all from your urethra
Serve as you wish you were served
It is simple care
With touchy chores
Absorb shyness from somewhere
Brilliant tactic without hurting a shadow
Turn false impressions into pure appreciation of beauty
Rustic Aesthetics Senses
Necessity of art making
Mood, sentiment, techniques, contemplation,
Manifest your greatest poisonous consumptions
Feel the need to do the real digging…
My love affair with PBF schools started way before I was even born. My parents have been English teachers, just like me, since they were really young. They first set up their own Pink and Blue English School in Presidente Venceslau in the beginning of the 70's.
I used to live in the school building itself and even being that young, my mind was just filled in with English stories, songs, grammar, etc. I can say that I was once the mascot of my parents' school.
I grew up and was raised in that little town. I studied English with my parents the entire time I spent there. I even had the chance to teach English every now and then my parents would need my help, either tutoring or actually lecturing full time. My first given lecture occurred when I was just 14.
After moving out of town, I continue taking English classes in other private school and even taught at another famous private school in Brazil. In 1998, when I finally moved abroad (US), I kept helping student friends when doing their compositions and preparing themselves for proficiency tests.
In January, 2005, Roberto and I are celebrating the 2nd year of our business - PBF ENGLISH/ESPAÑOL - Caxias do Sul Unity, RS. The first two years were not easy, however these were the times when things fell on the right places. We started with an excellent number of students and next year an even greater number will graduate.
Having the first graduates stimulate our will to become more and more successful.
Teaching English to all Ages...
Being an English teacher isn't an easy task, especially when that is not your first language. What I do sometimes is to pretend that I don't understand very well my students' native language. Whenever my pupils derail into Portuguese, I try to rephrase the ideas in English to bring them back on track.
I hardly ever translate words, and my students can get really mad at that. I'd rather explain words in simple English and illustrate their meanings with examples. It's nice to have them thinking in that language. My principle while teaching is to add a great deal of cultural facts along with the language.
I also like to talk about economics and politics acting as a businesswoman when teaching businessmen.
I appreciate talking about movies, music, sex, and even drugs to teenagers so we can have an open-minded communication.
I can even become a teenager when teaching teenagers and play and laugh like a child when teaching children. Love teaching students of all ages!
Link to the site of the best English School ever!
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
HOW LUCK I HAVE BEEN!!!
Shut the fuck up, Laila. It has been all a matter of choice... And you know it!!!
ME - My first name is Laila and my second is Christina... I don't appreciate sharing my last name because they are many. Teaching is my main activity, although I do other things such as translating, interpreting, reading, writing poems, posts in blogs and flogs or making up English quizzes for tests or practices. I also do the dishes, pay bills, comb my hair once in a while, and scratch my ear canals with soft cotton swabs after shower - a sensational blast. My favorite pastime is getting in touch with friends, that I've made throughout these 30 years I have lived, through the web.
HOME TOWN - Originally, I am from a small town located in Sao Paulo state - a state of Brazil. The town is called Presidente Venceslau. What? Are you surprised? Yes! I was really born in Brazil, one of the most beautiful countries in the world. This country is really huge, there are about 200,000,000 inhabitants, and all races and beliefs can be found here. On the other hand, my hometown is so small that people hardly believe that it exists.
São Paulo state is located in the Southest of this country, where the weather is enjoyable. But, unfortunately, my hometown is not the capital of the state. My town is located inland, something like eight hundred kilometers from the sea coast. It seems far, but Brazil is so big that those long distances are never amazing.
Presidente Venceslau is the name of the town where I got born (as I had mentioned before), a name that not everyone can easily pronounce. There are only 40 thousand people living in there. Its kind of boring place to me, since I enjoy living in bigger cities with more options for fun. Yet, my family still lives there. I left the city when I was very young, for obvious reason: that place was too small for me.
SÃO PAULO - By the age of 17, I had the chance to live in São Paulo city - the capital of the state with the same name. My parents sponsored my studies there. I used to live in a section of the city called Bela Vista. It's an area near downtown, very interesting although quite dangerous. It's hard for me to say whether I liked or not living in there. I just know that São Paulo city, with its 17,000,000 freaks all together, is more than just a city, it's an astonishingly vibrant spot on earth. I bet the astronauts from NASA may sense it from the outerspace.
LONDRINA - Later on, 1994, I had to move to another place. Why? College matters. Where? PARAN state. Be more specific please: Londrina. Just another city in Brazil whose name is a reverence of London. No! Not just another city in Brazil, that is completely wrong. Londrina is my second home. Londrina is magical. Little London, that's what the name means, is infused with great minds and free spirits, talented musicians and espectacular actors, theater actors. And I won't forget the views of that place which would elevate in me the wish to be hedonistic for a lifetime. Well, after saying all that, you may ask yourself, "Why aren't you living there, then?" I'll answer that question in a few paragraphs below.
I'd kept myself in Londrina until the end of 1997. I even got a bachelor's degree in MASS COMMUNICATION from the local state university named UEL. For all those years, my parents afforded my living and study expenses. I can say that I had an excellent education and received a great deal of love from them. I owe all my success to them with all my heart. At UEL, I ended up graduating in journalism, although I have never worked as journalist professionally.
SAINT PETERSBURG - In 1998... Well back then, I moved to Saint Petersburg - USA along with my sister Jennifer, and after Roberto arrived there. There, we lived together in an international student housing where we could make friends from different parts of the world. I still keep in touch with some of them and that helps me have clear in mind all the good memories from Saint Pete. Few months later in that year, Beto and I decided to move out to our own place. The day we officially got into our home was on October 31st - Halloween holiday. Our apartment was cozy but we didn't have much stuff in it, like television, VCR, etc. However, we wouldn't stay much time without stereo. In the very first week, Beto got ourselves a nice JVC stereo system which gave us some joy until we finally settled down. At that time, I started my Associated in Arts studies at a local school called Saint Petersbrug College. I graduated a few years later, meanwhile I could work and enjoy the "American Way of Life" which was unique and very helpful to my inner self: by going through all that gave me the chance to grow mature and become self-assured. I've learnt that the world up there resides within. I am here, on Earth, therefore I am everywhere.
Everywhere can be magical and dreadful simultaneously. Any place is soaked in good souls and evil spirits. We've got to learn how to manage with these contrasts!
My stay in Saint Pete can be defined as a REFRESHING "SICKENED" EXPERIENCE.Loved having known and lived in such a mixed cultural city...
NOW - I am 30 and now I live in Caxias do Sul, back in Brazil... I'll leave to talk about it later in another post... IT'S BEEN SO CALM THESE DAYS... Let's not mess with it!
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I normally don't write about love, unless it is my personal feeling, the love I feel regarding relatives, my sweet partner (Beto), my students (I'm a full-time teacher), arts, etc. I was assigned to write about it because of my own will. I have been discussing this issue with so many friends and they all complain about some of the things listed below:
- The person I love doesn't want to see me;
- I don't even know where this person is or whether this person exists;
- I possibly love someone who's already engaged and knows no bean about my feelings towards him/her;
Well, if love were hell of an easy topic to digress, there wouldn't be so much art work dedicated to it. That's the beauty of it - its complexity, mystery, fragility, and supernatural force to destroy people's mind and make people lose their interest in everything else. They just keep thinking about the significant other.
DAY 2 -> My second day trying to come up with something that may convince someone else that his/her love is closer than he/she might think of. It's a very difficult task indeed. I normally don't take that long to write poems or simple posts in this blog.
The thing is that this is not a simple post and the poem I first intended to write was dedicated to a person whom I don't know in person, haven't talked through MSN, ICQ, not even exchanged e-mails at all. This person's name is Sandy... This is to you! I am a Brazilian friend of someone who apparently cares a lot about you.
I feel that it's my duty to let you know that I appreciated your photographs and the imagery you explore is easy to be infatuated by, therefore I decided to write something about them. Besides that, there is someone who's trying to convince you that you and him are meant to be together... I've chosen to convince you of the same thing, but using a different strategy - Read this, please:
Thought of you as a bird
Or a little fragile cub
Thought of you as a cold breeze
Or blue as heavy rain
Thought of you as a fraction of a second
You are all that and more…
Thought of your pictures as masterpieces
Photographs with rhythms
Thought of your pale hands holding the camera
Never thought of you as being brighter than the flash
Though wrong thoughts cross our mind every now and then
Your fuzzy lines
Thought of you as a fresh loaf of bread
As soft as molten snow
You are the seed of an endangered flower
Something that doesn’t happen every day
Someone one simply doesn’t let go away
Your art is direct
Nobel yearning for affection
Thought of you as the trace of human existence
Clear calm thunderstorms
Silent smooth earthquakes
The lenses seemed to be place backwards
The furiousness isn’t detached from kindness
There is no boredom
There are only impressions
There are no vague linear images
There is only intelligible beauty
If I could see them that way,
That means someone else could too.
That means, his eyebrows would elevate in awe
Because no matter what you say or do
It’s being made! Love is there!
You must realize the other side
You must see through the other person’s eyes
You should know that there are more than photographs saying: “Register me”
Monday, December 13, 2004
My vacation is about to come, less than two weeks away. Isn't that unbelievable? To me it is. It's been almost a year that I do not relax, sleep in, rent a bunch of movies without worrying whether I must return them or not. It's a bliss, a bless, a blast.
____________________ The good memories are vague The painful ones stay Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there, I do not sleep...
"With eyes wide open, it is getting away from me..." I love dancing, singing, drawing, coloring, writing, changing my hair, my sh...