Sunday, January 22, 2017
This constant labeling judgement of genuine women, is done to break the spirit of her femininity; so she will buy into the lie that she is crazy, cognitively unaware, weak, “over-emotional”, inferior to men. This is done by jealous users who lack the selflessness to reciprocate those nice, positive vibes back to her. Not everyone DESERVES the NICE side of you. Make them EARN it by reciprocating all you give.
Until then, ignore them. Negative people treat you bad simply to stay on your mind. Don’t waste a second reflecting on nor responding to what others think of your life. Stop giving them power over you. Keep a healthy distance. Stay close enough to feed them care, yet far enough so they can’t bite your hand. Some friends and family are secretly jealous of your happiness. So let them be haunted by your absence.
Not every female who has a child is a mother. Females who aren’t naturally loving, affectionate and nurturing birth daughters more mature, loving & nurturing than their own mother. I am tired of getting these questions: “What are you going to do with your life?” “Why are you so lazy?” “Why are you getting so many tattoos and cats and buy those shoes?” “Why are you so skinny, aren’t you eating? “Why do you dress like that?” “Why are you so immature?” “Why do you get your hair dyed by those funky colors?” “Why don’t you just become a lawyer or a doctor & give up on your silly dreams?” “Why don’t you come to church?” “Why did you post that on Facebook?” Yet secretly, many mothers are jealous of their daughter’s beauty and confidence. They envy her youth and more than anything; they can tell their daughter is more mentally mature, nurturing, affectionate, kind, friendly and even more motherly than they are. This is because they don’t envy the material things their daughter possesses, they envy what they can never have, her genuine spirit. "Mothers, do your best to support your daughters’ career choices. Don’t put your daughter down; constantly telling her she’s wrong about every decision she makes. ENCOURAGE your daughter; be vulnerable for your daughter. Admit when you are wrong to your daughter.
Admit to her if you raised her to be guarded, not knowing how to accept love; providing from a man. Be apologetic towards your daughter, so she can have closure from her past. Some of the pain you mothers have put your daughters through growing up is currently holding her back, effecting her ability to trust, love and let someone who really cares about her into her heart, past her wall that you made her build up." Don’t let pride stand in the way of the love, affection & acknowledgement you need to give your daughter; she DESERVES that love. Don’t hold a daughter’s love of her mother hostage from her. Don’t hold the approval of decisions she makes from her like it’s ransom, only willing to release it when something tragic happens to you or her. You chose to have her. She did not choose to be born to you. Give your daughters love; attention, show them affection, so they don’t grow up with insecurities; seeking affection and love from every man they meet. I have such a rocky relationship with my mother, because my mother treat me like garbage, like life was an episode of family guy, and i am the Meg of the family.
I feel like the reason some mothers secretly hate their daughters is, because she went through the same shit growing up and she’s too much of a coward to make a change & stop the cycle from continuing, how your mother treats you is not a reflection of your worth, nor is it a reflection of her lack of love for you. How your mother treats you is a projection of her lack of love for self & lack off affection your grandmother gave her growing up. Every time she looks deep in your eyes and yells at you, she’s not speaking to you; she’s speaking to herself; the projection of herself she sees inside you. When she says “I wish you were never born!” She’s looking at you, but talking to herself. She wishes she was never born, because she can see that she birthed a genuine, giving daughter whose love and trust she feels she doesn’t even deserve. I also want you to know she is not your mother; you are her mother.
The concept of time does not exist in the universe. Peter 3:8 tells us a millennium is like a day to The Holy Spirit, proving the concept of time exists solely in this earthly dimension our souls are currently trapped in. This is how a spirit is able to come into this world and be born before it’s mother, like your mother was born before you. Having a child is not what makes a female a mother, just like helping bring a child into this world does not make a male a father. It is the selfless love that a parent gives us, loving us more than they love themselves and more than they love life is what makes one a mother or a father. You are not your human form. That is the clothes your spirit wears while you temporarily visit this vaykay spot called “earth”. You are the spirit that lives inside your human form, thus; your biological ‘human’ mother is not the mother of your spirit. Mathews 12:48 says, ‘who is my mother?’ 50 says, ‘whoever does the will of The Holy Spirit in heaven is my mother.’ You are your mother’s mother, the selfless love you showed her all your life is proof of that. Just as many young women are more of a mother to their own mother than their mother is to them; your spirit is the mother of your body and soul.
This is why it is so important for you to never allow fake family to discourage you, make you doubt yourself, make you hate life and question your own existence. Guard your heart with your spirit and allow your mother spirit to protect your heart, mind and soul like a mother protects her daughters. You are not a human-being, you are a spirit being a human, for a short time. During your spirit’s vacation on earth do not allow the daughter, which is your human body, emotions & insecurity, to control your thoughts inside the mind of the spirit you are. Don’t just perfect your daughter-body; making sure it looks pretty, beautiful & flawless; brows on fleek & makeup beat. Also remember to perfect the mother-spirit you are. It is the energy who gives you your true beauty. All of you genuine women are breathtakingly beautiful, and yet it is not your pretty face that makes you beautiful. It is not your curvy body or your gorgeous hair that makes you beautiful. Your human form is a glass; I can see through your glass beauty daughter-body into the liquid beauty of your mother-spirit. Your beauty is a shine that is seen on your face as a pretty look, yet it comes from the glow of your inner beauty.
A Confident Woman doesn’t need to rely on compliments or thirst, nor live off attention from random guys on social networks or via Instagram likes to validate her beauty; she knows she’s beautiful before anyone else. Looking inside her self, she sees the smooth inner beauty she exudes, clearer than a mirror. All that I understand about a woman, I cannot take credit for. I was blessed with an amazing mother who taught me the importance of listening to a woman by first listening to her. I learned as men, all we have to do is listen to a Woman’s silence. Even when she is quiet, her thoughts are LOUD as hell.
Low self-esteem is lower than doubt; it is hate. When a person can hate so much, they will try to insult your intelligence by dangling the fact they possess a nice car or poses a substantial amount of money at you, that is low self-esteem. It is, because they are trivializing them self and minimizing their life’s existence into that of a Material possession. Hate comes into play, because it is not others who they hate, nor is it the ‘haters’ who they pretend to have to boost their ego that they hate. No, they hate themselves, they hate their life, so they view you as another possession in it; a thing. You’re not a woman to them; you’re a thing. That’s why they call you a ‘bad bitch’, because you’re a THING to them. Referring to you as a beautiful woman, or your by your birth name would be too human or un-thing-like for them to do. They don’t see YOU; the person. They see your boobs, curvy cakes, long hair; all things. They use the mantra, ‘it takes money to make money’ as a creed to pursue their hopes of POSSESSING you, as they view you as a possession, as a thing; just like money.
Humility is a sign of maturity; stubbornness is a sign of immaturity.
A confident person can apologize, but a prideful, insecure fool would rather stubbornly go down with the ship of lies, than grab the lifesaver of humility by admitting when they are wrong to save a relationship. Would it kill you to admit when you are wrong to your child? Why do you always have to be right? How can you be the head of a family, yet you can’t listen to anyone in your family? How can you be a parent, aunt, uncle or boss; yet mentally, you behave like a little child? If you blame your child for the way your relationship with them is; you are extremely immature.
Being a parent means you are held more responsible than your child. It’s up to YOU to be more mature and let go of your pride and ego to salvage the relationship. Be humble; if you are a grown ass parent and you hurt your child in any way, don’t wait until they are grown with children to try to apologize for lack of love you shown them growing up. By then it can be too late, because they had to suffer with that pain all their life. If you are a grown man or woman, don’t wait until someone is ready to leave you to apologize for how badly you’ve treated them the whole relationship.
Be honest, humble and apologetic RIGHT NOW. It is better to be loyal to the one you love and lose your pride, then to be loyal to your pride and lose the one you love. If you’ve been hurt by your mother, it’s not your fault. You have to let go of fighting for her approval & love yourself fully, let go of all self doubt & your will be able to let people in to love you as much as you love yourself.
Monday, January 16, 2017
2013 - A student of mine was cold-bloodedly murdered. We had a local tragedy: almost 200 college students got killed in a party venue fire. Somebody I knew deeply was caught stealing our school big cash.
2014 - A teacher I had hired and believed in his/her potential quit his/her position due to ego related problems. I had to quit my Psychology major, therapy, and started getting heavily medicated. It was the beginning of my self ending.
2015 - Things got a little better at our business but Brazil got into a national crazy mothefuck*ng crisis. As a conclusion: businesses started shutting down; big ones, small shops, restaurants, clothing stores, industries, carriers, and therefore people began quitting getting educated because in a poor country in crisis what matters is getting healthy and fed. On July 10th, I was madly verbally abused by a nutty mother of a student's that I had to run to a police station and report the facts and almost sued the damn woman. Therefore, this year was going to be the last year we ran our own school. I was about to "retire" on being a language teacher (26 years teaching...)
2016 - On Jan 10th we announced our co-workers THE END was just around the corner. March 3rd, hubby and I moved back to São Paulo after 25 years. We began running one of our family business (no employees this time), Roberto got back into Judo training and I started singing, dancing, and writing in Portuguese.
2017 - This started as a disaster due to some super duper personal matters that I am not ready yet to write about here. I've been digesting the recent suicide of the son of a friend of mine. And at the same time, I am currently hired by 4/5 jobs... Money is not an issue anymore, kinda, however there is something super cruel breaking my heart, cutting my throat, numbing my senses... I wish I could rant about... but I can only go around and swallow the poison.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Over 30 years of friendship.
Loved reuniting with you today.
Paula, you are awesome.
I love your company.
Let us forever help each other.
And let's never be taken by darkness.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
In 2000, I got a car accident.
In 2013, I lost a young student of mine due to assassination.
In 2014, I caught a great friend stealing from my business.
In 2016, I lost my business.
In 2017, the son of a good old friend's killed himself.
It is my birthday month.
Too cruel to my senses...
Aquarius 2017 Horoscope
The 2017 Aquarius astrology shows that the North Node is in Leo, so from May 2017 the emphasis is on learning to enjoy and cherish life and building warm human relations. With the South Node in Aquarius, your Sun sign, this is a time to tone down excessive Aquarian qualities. Excessive Aquarius qualities could be too much independence, too much prominence given to your personal freedom and no respect to the freedom of others, rebellion, and vagrancy. We could say that the nodal axis is suggesting the way forward in 2017 is through heart, rather than detachment, depending on himself rather than on friends and group, learn to be a leader rather than a follower.
“Rebel With a Cause” could be the title of a film based on your life, Aquarius. You’re an individual original. A humanitarian, you’ll put your curious and visionary mind toward the betterment of humanity. Your friends might describe you as inventive, idealistic and philanthropic, but they may also accuse you of being aloof and unpredictable. It’s just that you’re more pensive and intellectual than most, dear Aquarius. While others choose to color between the lines, you’ll find your own box of crayons and an alternative and creative way to get the same job done. Unconventional and progressive, you’ll gravitate toward things that are different and strangely new. With your broad mind and accepting nature, you’re truly a forward thinker — perfect for the new year!
The horoscope 2017 for Aquarius points out that Jupiter is in your travel sector till October 2017, so travel is on your mind this year. You’re eager to see the world and learn from your encounters. Travel experiences may not be life changing, but your perspective will certainly change. You allow yourself to be open-minded to strangers this year, Aquarius, and you’re easily influenced. The stars suggest possibilities for spiritual growth. Internal changes are more important to you than external changes. Family dynamics could affect your belief system. Pay special attention to your health and don’t overexert yourself.
When Jupiter, the Planet of Luck and Good Fortune, moves into your sector of career, in October 10th, good things are bound to happen in your professional life. Make the most of it, Aquarius!
January 28, 2017 really is the start of the New Year for you as a new Moon appears in your sign marking the astrological start of your fresh 12 month cycle. Your new Moon marks the cosmic start of this cycle no matter when your birthday actually falls and also brings in the Chinese New Year of the Fire Rooster. Again, the vibe of this year underscores what is already coming into being for you.
Aquarius, take this time to look at what it is you want to achieve in 2017. The seeds of whatever that may be are already contained within you. Very often it is hard to grasp one of the biggest spiritual paradoxes of them all and yet the most simplest: you already have everything you need to get anything you want.
Aquarius, find your singing voice or musical talent and learn how to play a musical instrument if you have a desire to do so. Maybe you have a desire to dance, sing, paint, write or to express yourself in a creative way during transiting Uranus in your 3 rd solar house. Don’t wait, go for it, Aquarius!
Transiting Pluto in Capricorn has been in your solar 12th house since November 28, 2008 . Watch your back because powerful enemies behind the scenes are not to be trusted. On the positive side you have been learning how to protect yourself from those that would if they could harm you or your reputation or covet your valuable possession. You have been learning to become strong in the face of adversity. And because you have been striving to stay fair, abide by the law and keep honest, the angels stay diligent by your side to keep you protected from evil or negative forces.
You are becoming a powerful force to be reckoned with and there are others who are jealous of you, your position and your accomplishments. You are no longer naive to this fact, thus you have learned to safe guard yourself from those who would use you, talk about you behind your back and those who would take advantage of you and your talents or skills.
Because of all the problems, obstacles you’ve had to overcome, minor and major aggravations, setback, or sad events you have experienced, you have grown powerful in self-reliance. You have been gaining in inner strength and getting ready for when transiting Pluto enters your solar sun sign around 2023 . You will have learned how to stand strong and be a powerful force in order to experience a whole new life that is hard to imagine at this time. For now, you may experience some isolation or feelings of loneliness as you take those hard steps to a better future.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
A strong will
This is a day when you should put all of your attention and energy into getting ahead and attaining your ambitions. More than any other influence, this one signifies ego expression and expressing your will. You are inclined to be more strong-willed than usual today, to the point that you may not make compromises even when you should. Pursue your own objectives, but don't be so willful that you alienate others unnecessarily. In your dealings with superiors, this influence has a double-sided significance. You may alienate them because they see your actions as a threat to themselves, or you may win their regard and support. It all depends upon your relationship with them and your attitude toward authority figures in general; either way, you will have extensive dealings with people in power.
____________________ The good memories are vague The painful ones stay Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there, I do not sleep...
"With eyes wide open, it is getting away from me..." I love dancing, singing, drawing, coloring, writing, changing my hair, my sh...