Almost New Year

This is the time of the year that if you haven`t committed suicide yet, you are for sure planning to accomplish it by Christmas. I reckon this holiday season as being too dramatic. We consider and reconsider all the shit we went through, plus the shit we were responsible for. It is pretty intense. The thoughts rush in the crazy traffic of our brains and it is hard to fine them.

We live 365 days in a year to figure out that the next 365 days are not gonna make a dot of difference. I am so fucking tired of the sameness. Gotta jump off a cliff and make a difference in my neighborhood. I am sounding creepy and you are probably right. I ain't gonna try any end-of-the-year project, even though I have considered plenty of them. I am not that selfish nor narcisist for that matter. I still think that others are more important that my creepy being. 

My burden is to carry this unselfish perspective of life. Is "unselfish" a real word? I doubt it. Who cares? Who is gonna read this blog post anyway.  I have gotta rely on my poetry that I had left it aside for too long. 

Pure sadness

Events are drafts

Because life is a game

In which levels are ladders 

To reach the impossible 

Finally vacation has arrived

 It is 2023, December, and I am still at work. Not only do I need to grade a few test (as always happen at this time of the year) but I am also teaching. Teaching at this time of the year, for me, used to be unusual before the pandemic. Nowadays, since March 2020, it has been quite routine like as people can learn from home, at any time they wish to. I am not against this format of studies. In fact, I believe this is the way that it has to be due to the excitement (in a good and bad way) that digital interaction promotes and it does reflect in our inner selves. 

I am not an authority to criticize, nor even judge, this new mode of education. I am dived into it and therefore, I cannot predict whether is effective or not. I know I have encountered dozens of different results. Some students show a super high level of commitment and consequently, they present top grades, great speaking skills (I teach EFL, btw), fast reading comprehension, and superior ability to memorize rules, exceptions, and meanings of new vocabulary. Others, on the flip side, just want to buy a diploma. 

Perhaps, that has been this way even before the whole blended learning became a thing. I feel I am in a battlefield. And I don't fight for none of each side. I must get going and try to do my job at the best of my ability. Being a teacher is not an easy task. It has never been. It will never be. What is left to me is just accept that it is a job that it has to be done. 

And am I going to have the feel of vacation these days? Not for a second.