Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Anooooooooooooother MEME...

I know vacation has been over for a while but I am still in that mood. I feel lazy to write those long and kind-of-essay posts. So, I decided to write one more of those 'meme' quizes. The questions published here, I've found somewhere on the web in someone's blog (yeah! what a precise citation)... Gee, I hope the person does not sue me for this. I didn't mean to copy the idea... I literally stole it.

What I liked most about this meme is that the questions will sound a bit "macabre". They are all related to death. I never understood why our western culture has issues with this topic. It is never discussed over family suppers. It is never mentioned when people play pocker. It is the kind of subject that people don't normally use to strike up conversations in elevators: "Nice day, isn't it?" "Yeah, it is just perfect for drowning in any Caribbean beach." A taboo is what it is. Although, I grew up in a family that we would widely talk about death without prude or hypocrisy. We even sort of celebrated when we got to pay off for all of our family future funeral expenses which inevitably one of us would have to cash out when "lady death" arrives. Weird? I think this is called "planning ahead".

I sometimes wonder what and how people would feel about reading a blog of someone who has already passed away. I don't mean a posthumous blog. No. That is not my point. I actually thought of my friends, former students, or relatives of mine reading my words and seeing my faces in random posts here, at this spot, after my death. Would they laugh at my nonsense entries even though I'd be gone and not being able to post anything new? Would they laugh just once? Or maybe they would crack over and over by reading the same old things just because it is stamped in each of my writings that LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A JOKE.

Do I fear death? I am quite sure that I don't. However, I am a little reluctant with this 'stuff' just because of the fact that death normally comes with pain and suffering of the others who survive. Our western civilization does not allow us to see this process (so-called DEATH) as being something positive which, to my humble opinion, it is. Why? How come that could be positive? Simple answer: it is not fully pleasurable being alive. It is not wholesome having to work 14 hours a day to pay for facilities, afford transportation, canned food, health insurance, hair stylist, bottox, birth control pills, and Neutrogena exfoliating masks. No no no. It is no damn big deal being alive if we insist in not caring about self-awareness. It is just a simple thing, and yet we can't accept its plainness.

The Death Quiz

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Travel, travel, travel a lot;
2. Publish a book;
3. Spit on my ex-boss' misso soup :)
4. Have two kids;
5. Try to repay my parents for everything they've given me (including the already-paid funeral services);
6. See my favorite bands live;
7. Teach my kids to stand up for what they believe;

Seven things you would like to have at your funeral:
1. A bus - to help everybody commute from the church to the cemitery (Hope passangers remember to sing and clap "Oh Happy Day!" on their way). This way, everyone would behave ecologically correct by using only one transportation instead of creating those large lines of cars polluting the city and blocking the flow of the traffic (some people have the talent to bug even after being dead);
2. Good food, good drinks, and good music (pleeeeease);
3. Hope my relatives can afford to hire stand-up comedians to entertain the services;
4. If not, they can just let some of their DVDs run in private rooms;
5. No cries, no regrets, no enemies must pop up there either;
6. Lap-dancers or go-go girls can be hired too (no prejudices);
7. I am gonna steal that from Saucy - 'a pipe of laughing gas would work fine next to the keg of brew' LOL;

Seven celebrities that deserve to die:
1. Paris Hilton;
2. Cher (yew - all of her fans can kiss my ass);
3. Carrot Top (is he still alive?);
4. Britney Spears;
5. Ben Afleck;
6. All those who have ever participated at the Oscars;
7. And those who deny being part of this mega event;

Seven words you'll probably say seconds prior the moment your soul departures:
1. Hihihihi
2. One beer before I go;
3. hey, you go first;
4. nooooooooow???
5. Does anyone have some stash???
6. Fuck everybody;
7. I love everybody;

Seven reasons not to die:
1. Smile of a child;
2. Some people just don't look good in black;
3. Not being able to see lady bugs, spiders, and dragonflies after it;
4. Visine profits too much over that;
5. Good and tasteful sense of humor people should not leave;
6. Death's never scheduled - how rude!
7. Having to empty wardrobes and box of letters of the gone souls - just not fair;

Everyone will die sooner or later. So given a choice to decide your deathplace, where will you choose?
Any place on this planet is worth living and dying. I'd only rather not have a distressful trip to only-God-knows-where.

Since this is a very delicate topic, I don't feel like taggin' anyone for this "meme" because that would make me a murderer-wannabe, wouldn't it?


  1. You're so cool.

    I wish death was easier to talk about. I obsessed about it as a kid, thanks to religion going on and on about it...and so, I'd cry myself to sleep every night, worried about what I'd do after Grandma died.
    For about ten years prior to her death, she would always say, "Of course, I won't be around in five years, so I'll probably never see that..." and I'd do the usual..."Don't talk like that, Grandma!" One day, I finally just nodded my head. From there, she really relaxed on the subject...and I got to know all of her thoughts on the after life. Specifically, she knew she'd see her mother...She was really looking forward to that.
    Which made me realize...Grandma had an entire life before I even came into the picture...beloved people she said good bye to before I was even born. In her mind, she was getting on a plane and joining them.
    I didn't want to keep Grandma from her Mom by wishing she'd live for me forever...That's when 'we're all gonna die' really embraced me.

    I'm thinking if I'm a lucky old woman, I'll prepare my grandkids in the same way.

  2. you're crazy girl, you make me laugh so much.... I can picture myself at your funeral having a lap dance while my ass is sitting on someone's grave... how bizarre is that... anyway I'll be dead before you as men live shorter, so you'll be getting the lap-dance....lol
    see ya Laila, love you girl...

  3. I loved reading this Laila, and it makes me realize that I need to plan my funeral for real, write it all down, actually make all the arrangements, my insurance will pay for it. I need to do all of these things so that my kids don't have to, yah.

    Oh chicky you forgot taking photos....I remember a post back when I first came to know you and you mentioned that people should take photos at funeral services...Remember? I loved that idea, but then again I am sort of twisted.

    Love ya, mean it, Lori

  4. @Angie:

    That was a beautiful testimonial. I bet religion plays the most important role on this possible fear or hesitation about the idea of death. Your grandmother was very intelligent and I am sure you'll teach the same about this topic and in the same way to all your loved ones.


    Or SYD, whatever you wanna be called... I am not that crazy, dear. The lap-dance idea is to give that very first taste to my just-widowed husband that it is also cool to be single. Or, like you said, he might die before me... so, in that case, I will get the dollars out of those girls' thongs. After all, they'd be making profit out of my pain??? Hell NO!!!


    Sure... I'd forgotten that my relatives need to hire a good photographer too. I wanna look good at the photos. My little nephews and nieces are gonna stand in line to get a snap shot with their hot (or then cold) aunt's dead body!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!

    Laila Chris

  5. Thank you for being you. You give everything a fresh twist. I enjoyed this so much!!!

  6. Thank you, Cathy!!! You always get the spirit. We do need to meet some day - in person!!!

  7. I loved the funeral plans! I've always said that I want that song.."if you don't know me by now....you will never ever know me." Just thinking about it makes me laugh myself silly. =)

  8. Jules,

    The laughter was intended!

    Hehehehehe... that song is awesome too!!! HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI In fact, it's the best!!!!!!!!!!

  9. I used to think about death a lot. I was actually scared to die. Im not anymore. I know this sounds silly, but if I died right now, at least I wouldnt have to feel anymore. Then there are the people and other things that make your life worth living. I try to believe life is more than what it seems. There has to be more than getting up going to work every day, just to have a roof over your head, right? What is really the enjoyment in life? I look deeper, yet i still cant seem to find it. Life scares the shit out of me. Death gives me something to look forward to. Rest and most of all...PEACE.

  10. I agree with you Laila! Paris Hilton and Britney Spears really deserves to die, ahahahahah!!!!
    Great post!! Loved it!
    Many kissessss to you!!!
    Hey! Pass at my blog and comment, ok?

  11. Hey watch it! I'm a fan of Cher!

  12. @Sassy:

    That was gloomy but very possible to be understood. I don't see DEATH as being a solution for anything. It is just a natural process that our body has to go through. I believe that changes can bring solutions. I like breaking habits. I care for moving (I have lived in five different places).I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people. I don't appreciate getting stuck with those that push me down and you for sure don't either. You're lucky that your husband has left you. You are getting to new steps of your life - a whole new ball game. This time, you rule the match. This time, you'll make the decisions. You're a winner. You're better than he is. You're strong, Sassy. You're healthy and intelligent. You can be and do now whatever you want - that is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Take Care, dear

  13. for not being in a long-essay-writing mood as of late, you managed to churn out one beauty of a post here. sorry I've gone missing. business of life. and speaking of life and death, I have pondered countless time considering what western civilization's issue is with death. it IS completely removed... negative.. and I completely agree with your speculations regarding its connection with "not fully pleasurable being alive."

    you summed it up beautifully and truthfully:
    "It is no damn big deal being alive if we insist in not caring about self-awareness. It is just a simple thing, and yet we can't accept its plainness."

    and I LOVE the seven things you would like to have at your funeral. you are the coolest. xo


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