Monday, January 23, 2006

Ten truths about myself...


It's about time for you all - fellow bloggers, students, friendly readers - to know some truths about me... Embrace yourself and don't ever tell me that I have never warned you about these things.


1. If I stay more than 32 hours with empty stomach, I'll faint. I've also had this peculiar habit of shutting my eyes really tight every time I sneeze. My husband thinks this is kinda cute, though.

2.
I've been trained by skillful disciples of an Indian guru called Paramahansa Yogananda to obtain the power of resurrecting living creatures. Since I'm in my early studies,
so far, my power has only worked on recovering lizards' tails.

3.
Some of the products that I can't live without are: adult diapers, dandruff shampoos, sleeping pills, holy water, concealer, and self-help books.

4. If I touch hot boiling water or heat up iron, I get burnt skin and blisters come out after that. And this is hard to say... but... my farts and belches aren't fragrant.

5.
Some of the things you'll find in my bedroom are a butterfly knife, lithium, rat poison, pepper spray, a pile of old "O" magazines, and a box with all Mariah Carrey's best singles - anything for self-defense and protection.

6. Had I been born in Malaysia, I would have been born a toothless illiterate bald baby.

7.
Some cars aren't made for me. They have got three pedals and I was born with only two legs.


8.
Satan has found a way to control my technology devices. Many times while typing unsaved posts for blogs, e-mails for supplier, or working on translations, these texts manage to completely disappear from the computer system. And that normally happens after a computer screen window is closed. Where do these files go? Ask Satan. I almost forgot to mention some weird schemes that lie beneath some commands such as control-V, control-C, control-Z, control-N, and control-A. These are all devilish tools. I must exorcise this machine.

9. I don't want to shock any of you guys but I can't stand roaches so I do kill them in coldbloodedness when they come across.

10. Finally, I am very much ashamed of this, but... I have decided to let out some of my truths, so here it is: I have no power to control my heart beats. This is doggone true. Besides, I've got no eating disorders either. I've got no phobias, mental disturbance, or traumas. I'm free from depression or any sort of stress. Actually, I am not quite sure if I'm alive.

10 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful post. I needed a smile today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kkkkkkkk! you see I never like lol……

    You are a very eccentric woman indeed, but then, who can live without concealer, holy water and self help books, I have them all right here with me now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Shorty, Rain, Writer Mom:

    The worst truth about me, I kept hidden... I... Oh... It's not easy but I have a tendency to shut my eyes tight every time I sneeze. I'm lucky that hubby thinks it's kinda cute.

    KKKKKKKKKKK love ya, girls

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Laila...
    Always funny....
    I'm glad to know these things about you... lol
    btw...I'm back and I hope to see u soon in my blog ;-)
    Huges!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love it when you share things about yourself. I have holy water here, somewhere, if it hasn't evaporated...and the self help books, got em.

    I also love your sense of humor.

    I’ll be back this weekend to get caught up, so don't be folding up or anything. I figured the next post looks pretty deep and I need to read it when I have more time.

    Love an peace and fantastic karma, Lori

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi, André Gabriel!!! I missed you!
    BTW, Happy Birthday dear friend.
    Welcome back to the blogsphere...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Lori!


    I have got a little plastic bag of a miracle water from some place in Russia which was sent by that Minister Popoff. I got that because I used to watch his show on TV late at night back in the US. I laughed my ass off while watching him preaching!!!!!!! I wonder if he still hosts that TV show along with his wife.

    ReplyDelete

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