Those who will live, you screw them up
a poem by Mario Bortolotto - English version by Laila Chris Burden

God has made me likely
to admire the unusual
to be cautious and risky

God is the guilty one
He does not want to see my ugly face in heaven
He does not want my sweet urine
on heavenly car bumpers
therefore he put old bambas on me
He breastfed me with books
and made me walk in infected restrooms

It was Him who made me watch Tom and Jerry
I am despising animation movies
I am not finding anything funny anymore
and my bad mood is His responsibility
I bought an English woolen hat and tried to fund fondness
became buddy of the guys
and was cordial to old ladies
hung out with communists
serenaded with a bunch of happy kids
ate pizza and laughed at nasty jokes

The old ladies despise me
The old ladies want my scalp at the tip of a bayonet
the kids set Butch, the merciless, on my back
and the communists kicked me out of the bar
'cause later at that night, being beyond hammered,
I asked for some Blues and ordered a Budweiser

God is now into setting all the scum of humankind on my back
the kind old ladies look at me disgusted
God, I cannot hold up my belches
I adopted a scabby dog
and not even the cats want to have a chat with me

God, I am returning the English woolen hat
there is a girl in Osasco who doesn't write me anymore
there is another one who ran away to Manhattan
and another got married to a clerk
a clerk earns more cash than I do
a clerk is a millionaire next to me

God, I only own some Beat books
and a few Blues records
the communists despise Blues
the communists bought one more Volkswagen van
they didn't let me in not even in the trunk
the communists don't read my poems

God, the ugliest man in town is my friend
nobody hangs out with him
and the guy doesn't like to be alone

God, this guy reads Olavo Bilac aloud
and does performances under the pole light

God, I've been applauding my only friend
God, I think I am less than a clerk
I have been feeling less than a clerk
I've been talking to a cookie can
I've been drinking too much in order to get amused by the cookie can talk

God, the cookies are so appetizing
I cry when I think of eating them
God, I don't know any other prayer
But I pray a lot
Look, I am gonna go away

I am gonna carve in Aleijadinho statue
I am gonna think up a plan with terrible consequences
for Mineiro singers
I'm only gonna save the asses of those who are already dead
Only a boozer is patient to read what I write

God, I looked for a rehabilitation center
and my brother was at the reception desk
smiling at me and asking for my personal data

God, I need to get cleaned up
I ring the bell and she never answers it
I go to her house and she leaves a message with her mom
the waitresses don't write down my order
the homeless don't ask for alms
even zits are threatening to leave me
God, you know how to get things done
keep the English woolen hat
I am going home
gonna scratch the walls
and come up with a getaway
I am gonna screw up the guardian angel who let me down
God,  I want my angel back
the guy who eats hot dogs has an angel
the newsstand guy who has never read Bukowski has an angel
the clerk has an angel
even Bukowski if I am not mistaken had an angel
only I don't
I demand my angel back
I didn't make him indecent proposals
like people are spreading
I wouldn't be able to
I have been crawling after women
I will find Marion Zimmer Bradley awesome if they want me to
God, I am capable of doing shameful things for the lips of a lady
Give my angel back, God damn it
God I think I am happy and I don't know it but so what?
who really wants this happy crowd on their foot?
this healthy slime?

God, I got tired of being kind
of exhaling the common-place
to a happy audience
God, the trunk is empty
they sold my grave to the bank teller
who really wants a grave?
I am distilling arrogance and breathing
you are smiling you cocksucker
I think I got the message.