Self-portrait

I got to see so many good people on my last vacation that I had to post these photos

Random Thoughts Part II

I think too much and sometime write too little. Therefore, I came up with short, though troubled, remarks about these thoughts:

1. Burden Studios present: CHARACTERS THAT LAILA WOULD PLAY ON A MOVIE - I'd die to play this woman called Mary Mallon - the "Typhoid Mary";

2. Hate, loathe, despise blogs written with only x-small font sizes. Die all good eye-sight bloggers. Besides that, while clicking on the navigate blogger bar, I sometimes run into some blogspots filled with naked people exercising their bodies in a very strange way. Don't they know there are kids, like me, blogging too?

3. Le Parkour is a much older sport than many people might think. It's been widely practiced by Brazilian street drug dealers since late 70's. Their techniques have reached the most advanced formats since they train every time cops catch them red-handed.

4. I hate vegetarians (nothing personal, Rain). I hate these folks so bad that I would eat them if I were cannibal.

5. Maybe it's just me but I don't see the point at pressing or ironing clothes.

6. Mr Bush was in town a few weeks ago. By town I mean 'in the country'. Yeah, the president of the US came to Brazil. There were several protests against his visit and against his international affairs. It was a huge thing. I wish international news had paid more attention to the protesters.

7. Can anyone actually die overdosed by soy milk with apple flavor?

8. While some individuals think I am going insane, I believe that I am not missing anything for not having a whole lot of time left to sleep, go to the movies, read my favorite books or even have some possible checkups. No. I am not getting mad though.

9. I'm gonna sign up for that MTV show called MADE. Man, I love that show. I want them to turn me into a person.

10. I've recently found out about Britney Spears going bald, doing drugs, acting all weird in front of cameras and stuff. I haven't had much time to catch up with those celebrities' latests. IMHO (In my hardcore opinion), she can kiss my fat blue ass. She can do whatever the f*ck she wants. I don't give a damn whether she's partying hard, going bald, getting tatoos, or she's not mothering properly her two babies... Leave the bitch alone. She's got a family who could offer her the right support she might need, hasn't she?

Meanwhile, my legs hurt, my eyes get lazy, my stomach burns, my back bends, my mouth foams... I need vacation already.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our LIGHT, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually we should be asking, "Who are WE not to be all that?"
L.C. Burden

Happiness is reachable

These are Neusa (Roberto`s Aunt) and I spending the afternoon in a picnic area by a local river. I have longed to post this photo...

But I wasn`t able to do it because I had been facing some Blogger difficulties for a week `till today. Some published posts got deleted for no apparent reason. Clicking on PUBLISH or SAVE AS DRAFT buttons would erase texts and html codes, therefore nothing could be posted on my blogger spots. Luckily, the trouble is over.

Thanks, Ron, for having tried to help me out but I seem to locate the origin of the problem myself. I`ll E-mail you explaining how I may have fixed the thing. I need to test blogger.com in all the other PCs I got down here and be sure that I`m done with the hassle. I can`t tell so far if the problem is finally fixed, but I`ll let you know right away. I hope my blogger spots are normally functioning again. Hope I can go back on posting without hesitation.
Cheers everyone

Shopping Spree

In what market can I find those?

I understand...

...that it is a bit too late for New Year's resolution. I also understand that if I don't write anything about it sooner or later, I won't be able to blame myself for the things I didn't do from the list of resolutions during this year. So here I go...

I wanna become a better person. No bull, seriously! I'm through with my slob lifestyle. By that, I mean living better, in a soother way. I will work harder. Not that I don't work hard enough already, but I'll do it aiming at becoming that 'better' person I'd mentioned. For instance, my kitchen will have to be spotless from now on. Or at least, the kitchen sink will have to provide room for cooking, making sandwiches, or just brewing some coffee without bumping on dirty dishes.

My bedroom will finally turn into a sanctuary. I have worked on remodeling it so that I'll be able to create an inspiring environment to sleep in, meditate, read, and so on, and so on... Well, well, well, frankly, so far, hum... my room has become already a possible living place thanks to the cleaning lady, Odete. That's all I could get. However, there are many more things to get done for my bedroom such as finishing up those beaded curtains (that I'm making myself) and gettin' them installed, locating a handmade chest of drawers, some decent sheets, and finding more pictures to hang on the wall. This coming weekend, Roberto and I will go shopping for some of those items.

Plus, I've thoroughly considered moving out of the school which it'd be a great relief. It's no doubt that we would improve our mental health by not living where we actually work. Maybe, that is exactly what we need: to find an apartment that'll be called 'home'. In case you, reader, don't know where I reside... sit down for this... hubby and I occupy one of the classrooms of the language school we own. So, our living room is actually the students' lounge. Our dining table is, in fact, the front desk. Our study is the computer lab. We have lived this way for years now.

Living like this is not a burden (laughing to that word), lemme tell you this. We do it because that's the way we've figured to save money to purchase a nice apartment for ourselves someday. It's also a lack of better choice, honestly speaking (or writing). Nonetheless, I enjoy living in here. Meh! I can't deny. I'm overtired for not having a home, real one. It's about time to go after this change.

Last week, Roberto and I spoke about this change over lunch. At first, I thought I'd have to make up his mind toward this matter. I was wrong. He totally agreed and he clearly sees that this lifestyle is killing us. When we close our business doors every night, we are not resting 'cause we are home and we're still at work simultaneously, every - single - day. We also understand that this moving thing won't be either cheap or easy. Well, nothing ventured', nothing gained - what a cliche! Who cares about cliches at this point? What I care is about our well-being and this is getting way too much. We ought to move out and period. The only question left is 'who will pay for the moving expenses?'

Perhaps, I'd better stop venting because there are many good things about living in the work place. We never have to worry about parking space when coming to work because we live there. We don't worry about arriving on time either. In case of getting sick or bad digestion, we are one step away from bed and taking naps when necessary is never a problem. We are never concerned about forgetting apartment keys, bills to pay on the desk, or personal E-mails opened on the computer screen 'cause our personal life is along with the professional one (oops!). But what about having to afford an extra rent? Having to furnish a whole new place? That'd be way tough. Wowoweewa. So many pros and cons. It is hard to define what is best in the end.

The only thing I understand... the only darn stuff I see... the only thing I really really know is that changes are good, but keeping things the way they are is many times more soothing! As far as I've been struggling on being a BETTER person... I'm cool with my 2007 resolutions and let's root to make them happen.

Curiosity Fact: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

THE THESIS

by Thomas Van Stockum

She pointed out that my paper lacked
a proper aim or goal.
I needed to include a statement of thesis,
to pave a way for the discourse of my argument.
I tell her I do not like to give away my surprises.
She responds by showing me well-written conclusions
from professional essays.
"See! This is where your surprise should be."
I tell her I don't like surprises.
She shrugs and I know she has not been listening.
Not that I ever listen to her.
I leave w/ my tail between my legs,
my grade unchanged.

On the bus home I read over my paper
and try to understand what she told me,
even though there is nothing more to understand.
If you have a boring thesis, no one will read your essay.
If you don't have a thesis, then you don't have an essay.
Save the surprises for the end, that's what I said.
That is also apparently what she said.
What a bitch.

Girls striking a pose... KKKKKKKK

Only a teacher like me could do such a thing... I'm glad that these students are also very sport. Love you both Julia and Victoria (left). LOL

On a fine DOG

Friday, March 02, 2007 by Rain

And so...

I had my old dog put to sleep yesterday. And it hurt, more than I expected. Death reminds me of all the other deaths, opens up that well of grief, and I seem to cry for all that has ever gone wrong. I just cried like a child, much to my embarrassment at the vet's office. I went alone. I kept waiting for my husband to find the time to go with me, until I realized he never would. It made him too uncomfortable. He is squeamish and I won't hold that against him. I had to get the guy working on our house ( when is there not a guy working on our house?) to help me bury her.

It was important to me to bury her in the backyard, and part of the reason I didn't put her down in the middle of winter. I could not cope with the cremation option, and I changed my mind about wanting to be cremated myself. I just put her in the soft earth and that seemed okay.

The guy who dug the hole and helped me bury her was young. It was awkward because I didn't feel comfortable having a "funeral" with just me and him in the back of the property. So we just talked. He did such a precise job of constructing her burial plot that I was happy that he did it rather than my husband, who would have done it in a "just get this over with manner" . Squeamish. I am more determined to meet things head on.

I thanked him profusely for his help and he replied, "that's okay, I hope someone helps me do things when I am old" followed closely by, " not that you're old or anything" "it's okay", I said, " I am kind of old". Too old to dig a grave quickly anway.

I really don't know what I was thinking, nursing that dog for all these months. Tending to her, like hope itself. Refusing to let go of all she stood for. The last 16 years of my life. Arizona. My brother. My previous marriage. My youth. My dreams. I am really a silly fool, trying to fight off death.
There is a sense of relief that she is gone, and that her suffering is ended, and my suffering too.

I lost track of what a chore it had become to care for her. My other dogs are so easy, they just exist on a different level.

They keep looking over where her bed was, trying to figure out where she's gone.
I expected more of a reaction, actually they are calmer.

It rained after we buried her. It turned into a downpour. It rained all night. My heart ached while I tried to sleep. Literally, it ached. I miss her.

I loved this so so so bad! (Video has been removed upon request! Damn!)

Okay... the YOUTUBE video has been removed for the lack of appreciation.
Poor boys. I write here on behalf of those tiny skinny dorks. I used to be tiny skinny too. Hehehehe Dork, still. I totally loved their video and I may post it back again... Some day...