Monday, May 15, 2006

from BBC online...

Last Updated: Monday, 15 May 2006, 12:56 GMT 13:56 UK

Gang violence grips Brazil state

About half the state's jails are involved in rebellions

Attacks are continuing in the Brazilian state of São Paulo where a wave of co-ordinated violence since Friday has left more than 70 people dead.

Overnight, gangs torched buses, targeted banks and continued their attacks on police patrols and stations.

Reports said about 20 people had been killed in the latest fighting.

Authorities say the unrest is being directed from inside jail by a criminal gang after hundreds of its members were sent to maximum security prisons.

The authorities are also struggling to restore order in more than 40 jails across the state where thousands of inmates have rioted.

They have taken about 200 people hostage - some of them said to be visiting relatives.

Unrest has also been reported in some prisons in neighbouring states, including Mato Grosso do Sul and Parana.

Heavily armed gangs held up more than 60 buses during a third night of extreme violence in Sao Paulo, clearing the passengers off and then setting the vehicles alight.

Molotov cocktails were hurled into several bank branches and across Sao Paulo city, police stations again came under attack by gangs wielding machine guns, machetes and home-made bombs.

There were also several fatal shoot-outs.

The violence is an escalation of what many in Sao Paulo are calling a war between the state authorities and the First Command of the Capital (PCC) criminal faction, the BBC's Brazil correspondent Steve Kingstone says.

The attacks and riots began on Friday after 700 jailed PCC members were transferred to higher-security facilities.

Violence was reported in various parts of Greater Sao Paulo, as well as towns along the coast, including Guaruja, Santos and Cubatao, and towns in the interior of the state.

President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva is to call an emergency cabinet meeting to discuss the crisis.

Despite the violence, the governor of Sao Paulo state, Claudio Lembo, has said the situation is under control and has rejected an offer of help from the federal government to provide troops and extra policing.

Witnesses: Enio Lucciola, a spokesman for the São Paulo State Public Safety Department, told the Associated Press that authorities had been prepared for a PCC response to the jail transfers but "we never imagined it would be so big or ferocious... It caught us by surprise".

It has emerged that some of those involved in attacks on the police were inmates temporarily released over the weekend for Mothers' Day in Brazil.

Witnesses have been providing reports of some of the violence.

Those who saw the killing of one police officer said two men wearing masks had approached and shot him in the head as he dined with his wife.

Much of the violence is also in response to police violence - how can criminals have any respect for the law if it is not respected by the police?

In another incident, dynamite was placed at the entrance to a police station and the resulting explosion blew off doors and iron railings.

Among the dead are at least 35 police officers and prison guards.

Founded in 1993, the PCC has been involved in drugs and arms trafficking, kidnappings, bank robberies, and prison breaks and rebellions, police say.

In November 2003, the gang attacked more than 50 police stations, killing three police officers and wounding 12.

Those attacks were thought to have been orchestrated by PCC leaders in jail.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Panic Button

"My place is like PANIC ROOM and I do mean that. We have had alarms, cameras, and surveillance services installed and hired. All my moves can be watched on those little screens. If there is anyone trying to break into my school, I can hit a PANIC BUTTON - really called "panic" button - and police patrols must show up as quick as possible (at least, I should believe in that.) On one hand, I feel more comfortable having these devices working at our place, but on the other, I'd appreciate if they were not needed. Wherever I walk in the house, I am spotted with red lights flashing in each corner. My life seems like a reality show this way. It's crazy weird."

I wrote that paragraph above on my BUZZNET journal about a week or two ago. Since then, I've slept better since those devices give me a "maybe" impression of safety but violence is still out there. I have seen violence of all sorts on TV news: violence in soccer matches; violence in prisons; violence on Brazilian roads. About 42,000 people die a year in car wrecks. Another 40,000 die a year due to fire guns. 200 cellphones are stolen a day in São Paulo city. 13 cars were stolen just yesterday in this town where I live in. Even though, I have got to live under a so-called normality because otherwise I wouldn't have a life.

However I can't disguise the fact that I do not have an ordinary kind of life. I am never at ease. Early this morning, a student of mine had his car stolen by two demented crooks loaded with guns. The robbery happened at 10 in the morning on a busy street downtown. Luckily, he was not carjacked and he was insured. He is not the only person I know who had gone through that. Many relatives, friends, and acquaintances of mine have. And I have too.

I don't want to make this post a cry for help or turn Brazil's image into a warfare place. Yet, not many people can imagine small towns filled with fenced houses having 3 to 4 locks on front doors. Not many people know what means to have to check out if each window and door is locked before going to bed. Not many people know what it is to have rehearsed moves, like fire drills, every time you leave and arrive home so that it is clear that no strangers who may be around the place get you standing at the doorstep while locking or unlocking and they take you forcibly into your house with pointed weapons or guns. Then, those crooks steal everything from you. That is the most common way to have a house robbed or a car stolen down here. And it does happen often. Brazilian cops clearly don't do their jobs. So, we pay fortunes to have alarms and private surveillance services. Purchasing alternative ways to believe that we are safe is an out-of-question topic for Brazilian citizens.

When I walk downtown I watch my steps. I am always checking my back and I never talk to strangers - it is always a risk to take. We barely stop at red lights after midnight and don't get me started on answering machines that say:"We are not in town for the week, so leave a message after the tone..." You oughtta be stupid. When you come back home from a wonderful vacation trip, not even your walls will be upright sustaining the ceiling. It is so damn common to have houses broken into and all people's belongings are vanished - easily taken - and no one calls the police. No neighbors notice a thing. No noises are heard while the robbery is taking place.

It's a strange thing to live under these circumstances. It's not like experiencing COPS - the TV show. It's not actually like living in a reality show. It's way worse than that but I guess it might be really close to what Jodie Foster went through on that movie PANIC ROOM. I fear being on the streets. It frightens me if the doors aren't locked during the day. It used to scare me to sleep without alarms around the house. Now, I'm trying to convince Roberto to get a car insurance which covers stolen property... He's being a hard ass on that.


CURIOSITY FACT: While teaching a private class this morning, my student received a cellphone call with this message:"Your grandpa has killed himself with a shot gun..." Blame it on depression, I guess.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

Adriana Calcanhoto

Get to know a little about my Brazilian music icon: Adriana Calcanhoto.

Self-Portrait
08/20/2004

I am from Rio Grande so I’m fearless. I love Rio de Janeiro. I have a problem saying no. Narrow-minded people snub me. I have a bad memory for names. I barely like music. I’ve been wearing the same pair of black trousers for three years. I cook very well but I’m lazy. I hate pumpkin. I love Elizabeth Taylor. I have never had any collections. I love helping my friends if there is something I can do. I am slow to retaliate. I love colors. I can’t stand work associates to set low standards for themselves. I am punctual. I stop at red lights. I spend small fortunes on art books. I hate people with no sense of humor. Sometimes I give alms. I love Miles Davis. I complain a lot. I know how to say ‘I’m sorry’. I buy records for their covers. I don’t hold grudges. I love animals. I don’t care for money. I live in Jardim Botânico, in a small apartment painted yellow. I listen to all the tapes people send me. I love dancing. I love Balanchine. I can’t stand the retro syndrome. I hate knickknacks. I love Mondrian. I like washing dishes. I sometimes need to be alone. I like Botafogo. I support Grêmio. I don’t know how to play cards. I would love to do a cinema soundtrack. I would like to play golf. I love Tàpies. I drink too much coffee. I don’t like air conditioning. My mother says I change a lot. I’m gluttonous. I hate baby blue. I love João Cabral. I really don’t know how to play the guitar. I play the guitar beautifully. I have lovely arms. Iberê Camargo painted my portrait. I know and recognize people by their hands. I can’t stand wastefulness. I hate courant d’air. I love Lina Bo Bardi. I don’t like good taste. I hate pills. I am very hairy. I love the Queen of England. I love Brie. Tacky people snub me. I have never known what to do with my hands in the presence of celebrities. My friends say I change a lot. I have always been happy in Love. I love Marlon Brando. I love Gáveas Guimas. I can’t live without champagne. I have a Lygia Clark “animal”. I sleep less than I would like to. I hate mystifyng people. I love driving. I don’t like trivial mysteries. I despise phony people. I love reds and pinks. I give shelter to trespassers and outcasts. I’ve stopped smoking. I have no superstition. I love John Cage. I have never wanted to have children. The first word I read was "Mexico". I don’t like to perform on TV. I love my hands. I love laughing at myself. I have a soft spot for mad people. I love Issey Myake. I hate old rubbish. Journalists say I change a lot. I despise people who take themselves too seriously. I love aristocrats. I can’t live without fruits. I am very disciplined. I truly want to visit Egypt. I envy elephants. I love Augusto de Campos. I love Mediterranean colors. I love the food of the Provence. I can’t stand Free Shops and all that junk. I hate people fascinated exclusively by fame. I love Merce Cunningham. I want to compose very simple songs. I want to know what’s songs are for. I love Andy Warhol. I am slightly cross-eyed. I postpone very important decisions. My shoe size is 38. I have a “climber” by Lygia Clark. I love wine. I don’t know how to give interviews. I love Mangueira. I want the Dois Irmãos Mountain lighted. I love diving in Angra. I love Mário Peixoto. Uncultured people snub me. I love different shades of blue. I love Klein. I love Klee. I love Matisse. I always say yes. I love playing concerts. I love singing in Rio. I sleep on planes. I am much too generous. I love Gertrude Stein. I’m mad for orchids. I’ve been head over heels in love for seven years. I love Hélio Oiticica. I love Joaquim Pedro de Andrade. I hate aestheticization. I hate undue appraisal of folklore. I don’t like watching myself on video. I love Oswald de Andrade. I have a lithography by Miró. In winter, I never have breakfast without strawberries. In summer I never have breakfast without watermelon. One day I shall have a Calder mobile. I do barbaric things for a Swatch. People say I change a lot.

Published in ‘Jornal do Brasil’ / Caderno Mulher / on September 9, 1996
By Adriana Calcanhotto


CURIOSITY FACT:The links on this text were on me!!!

Friday, May 5, 2006

Counting Sheep


I've heard:"I'm counting sheep!"

Counting sheep?

Don't people count sheep when they can't sleep?

In a certain culture this expression

would work fine: "I wash my hands!"

That means - I rest my case.

I do... I really wash them now

because I can't get that.



What is happening here?

Who could understand it?

Who's making the rules?

Why is all that for?



Counting sheep?

Go count bodies

or even fetus!

Lorca said once:

"Yo veo en ti fetos de ciencias"



Muchas cosas pueden ser entendidas sobre esto

Yo veo en ti lo que yo no puedo decir

Yo veo en ti lo que yo quiero que tu seas

Yo veo en ti un hermano,

una praga, un corte de cuchillo

Yo veo en ti aquello que yo mas deseo

Pero tu traes todavia fetos de ciencia

algo que no se lo que es...

por eso, yo voy a contar carneros también.

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Up there

She's so high
Her head is floating
Her feet are missing
She can touch the hours,
the departures, all exits, and voids...
She can touch lights, welcomings, and arrivals.


She can cut water in slices brought by liquefied bones
And squared deep red, yellow, and blue
pearl eyes arise
And the eyes watch her
Reflect the worst of her
She's so high that
her body trembles in moisture.
As her brain splits open,
a hand sticks a torch in her cranium.
Ashes are left and they do not bother her much
She seems to have better consciousness
but she's still up there
or down in the deep ocean bottom
watching sea snakes and
having salt water invading her nostrils
Her nails grow as she swims
and her teeth are loose
Little dots, slashes, and dashes
dive in this water zoo
Curvy dice does not work fine
on the control of this high.


by Laila Chris

Monday, April 24, 2006

Harry Potter mood

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Albus Dumbledore

90%

Sirius Black

75%

Hermione Granger

65%

Ginny Weasley

65%

Lord Voldemort

65%

Remus Lupin

60%

Severus Snape

55%

Ron Weasley

50%

Harry Potter

50%

Draco Malfoy

20%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Friday, April 21, 2006

Planning on photos

When chatting on MSN with Ange last week, she announced that she might start blogging less often since taking pictures has kept her busy these days. Ironically, I haven't blogged much either for the very same reason. She says she's into this sort of photojournalism mood. Well... in my case, I just don't know whether I am into an artistic mood or simply registering deviant images. I care for taking distorted photos - that is the truth.

I am having a blast with my camera. The only matter, which is just a little hassle and I know I'll get over it, is that I don't get much how my camera works. Yeah... I know technology has turned all the devices pretty much simpler nowadays but I think I prefer the old heavy complicated Yashica and all its lenses that I used to own. Just point, manually adjust, and shoot - just like a gun (hehehe). Actually, I am trying harder to understand this new machine of mine. I may not be getting the best out of it, but at least I know my photos don't stink - according to some friends' opinion.

My other problem is finding themes for the snaps and figuring out my style. At first, I thought I could take pictures of people at specific events or just having fun somewhere but I can't hang out at parties. I have no time for this kind of happenings. Then, I thought of registering nature elements, although hiking isn't pretty much my thing, I'd have to take walk in the woods (and Gee! there are a lot of good places to visit)... but again, time and energy are something I don't have much to spare.

Well, in order to solve this matter I've convinced myself to get focused on urban elements, especially architecture. I've chosen to snap historical buildings since there are plenty in this are. I live and work downtown - closer to the buildings I intend to snap; I definitely should take advantage of this place where I live in. Maybe that is why this assignment has got my attention so bad. I haven't taken any photo yet, but at least I've gathered a few addresses which are going to result in cool pictures for sure. I can't wait to have them ready and post them here.

CURIOSITY FACT:
I went through way intensive days last week. My school received all PBF franchisees of the state for a very important two-day conference meeting. The discussions and the exchange of experiences and new ideas brought us more confidence in the business. By the end of the event, the best part was to come... Our school was pointed as being a reference for the state for its structure, organization, neatness, and our highly trained personnel. We were very touched. It was all that we needed to hear. :-D

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

In my words reside my world. In his words, I travel to outer space

"Not that I was hard of hearing, for I had quite a sensitive ear, and sounds unencumbered with precise meaning were registered perhaps better by me than by most. What was it then? A defect of the understanding perhaps, which only began to vibrate on repeated solicitations, or which did vibrate, if you like, but at a lower frequency, or a higher, than that of ratiocination, if such a thing is conceivable, and such a thing is conceivable, since I conceive it. Yes, the words I heard, and heard distinctly, having quite a sensitive ear, were heard a first time, then a second, and often even a third, as pure sounds, free of all meaning, and this is probably one of the reasons why conversation was unspeakably painful to me. And the words I uttered myself, and which must nearly always have gone with an effort of the intelligence, were often to me as the buzzing of an insect. And this is perhaps one of the reasons I was so untalkative, I mean this trouble I had in understanding not only what others said to me but also what I said to them." by Samuel Beckett, Molloy.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Self-Portrait Tuesday




While playing with my fuckin' camera... awwwe, I copy and paste Phoenix's poem... Loved it!!!

Spewing some...
Fixing leaks, html tweaks
Images appear, once the path is clear

I've got myself a deadline
By the time the light shows
Hope I don't end up flatlining

Roobaroo roshni
Echoing through the walls

I evade, I blog, I flickr
But return thou must to the editor

This is really pedestrian poetry, neighbor's moving furniture upstairs
The heat creeping up
DO I really care?

Words falling over each other, 'don't shove' says one, its a stampede, yells the other.
My head is a glorious mess of loose ends and to-dos.

Telephone rings, a friend, a quick conversation
Rush rush bye-byes

The page waits, stoically.

My tea's getting cold.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

A bit of poetry!!!

... ... ...

MY MOUTH WATERS
MY WIND BLOWS
MY SKY SCRAPES
WHAT MY MIND FLOWS
MY HAND WRITES
MY BODY WORKS
MY PEN COLORS
WHAT DRAWINGS COAX
MY HEAD SPINS
MY HIPS SHOW
MY LEGS REACH
WHAT MY FEET SEW
MY EYES SHINE
MY HEART SIGHS
MY FINGERS TRY
WHAT'S IN MY THIGHS
MY HAIR IS PULLED
MY LIPS SWIRL
MY TONGUE TRAVELS
AS MY ARMS THRILL
WHILE WE DRILL... DRILL...


by Laila Chris

...




Do You Even Know What a Blog Is?



You got 1/8 correct!



What the heck are you doing at Blogthings?

Saturday, April 8, 2006

Taking LC 101

1. I'm patient but I have never been patient enough to wait for my hair to grow longer.

2. When I'm stressed out I start getting earlier periods, tons of zitts on my forehead, rashes on my skin, bleeding gums, brown urine...

3. I care for honesty but also for some privacy that is why I normally block myself while typing in blogs. However I let my imagination fly, float, and flow when I write literature.

4. Since last year, I've gained some extra pounds, started drinking sodas again, and the worst happened - got sick and tired of my life style, and I almost gave up everything. This is true, fellow readers. I drive to the borders of my private life sometimes.

5. I have many addictions. I can't control my blogging activities for example. Blogging is definitely the cheapest therapy that was ever invented. Blogging is also the cheapest way to have one's writing published. Blogging is what I am doing right now. My addiction is so taking control over me that I might have ten blogs already. I won't list or link them all here because most of them are not ready yet. Well, I ended up listing some of them later on this post. You guys will see that!

6. I started this post last week (Feb 27th) and I don't think I am going to finish it today (March 4th.)... Today is March 31st... April 1st ... Officially concluded on April 7th.

7. Carnival season is over in Brazil... FINALLY!!!! Just the fact that I was born in this party-like country does not make ME enjoy things that most people from here do. I can't like that. I don't appreciate soccer either, although it is a healthy sport and it is probably fun to go to huge stadiums to see your favorite team playing... ok ok ok, but NO! I simply can't take it. I hate SAMBA, BOSSA NOVA, and modern Brazilian music as well. Actually, there is some music work made in Brazil that I kind of like but that's it.

8. I care for Brazilian literature. Our language is rich, complicated, unique, and it is a wonderful instrument for poetry. This is the thing that makes me proud of being Brazilian - I AM A PORTUGUESE SPEAKER.

9. I am always late in the morning. I can never have my favorite meal of the day because I'm all the time rushing. I miss good old Sunday brunches too. I can never wake up before midday on weekends either. My body has been requiring deep sleep, that is why.

10. I wear skater sneakers, cap, and cargo pants to teach classes. Can't be the classical role model of mentors. It is not my fault that the standard kind of clothing make people look older. I don't wanna look older than I am - sooorry!!!

11. Procrastinating is my motto.

12. Catholic churches frighten me.

13. I've fallen on my back in front of students. I've run over a traffic policeman. I've soundly farted while being the spotlight of a fancy party.

14. Money doesn't attract me. Shopping isn't appealing to me. I don't appreciate getting my nails done, getting my hair cut and don't even get me started on waxing. I hate cleaning, doing the laundry, ironing... I really don't like going to banks to pay bills and hate being stuck among stupid women that only talk about those subjects. Sneezing is something that doesn't bother me much though.

15. I have got more draft posts than actual published ones.

16. My favorite ice cream flavor is Butter Pecan. It's sad that it hasn't been invented facial cream with that smell.

17. MSNing is fun but there are some crazy folks that don't like to talk clearly on that chatty thing. They tend to ask me the same questions million times and to make things worse, they don't identify themselves. What's up with those people...??? ... afraid of typing maybe???

18. I love some words... especially these ones: Void, Mucus, Sellotape, Limbo, Anesthesia, Rodent, Umbrella, Fortuitous, and Blossom.

19. I actually stole this idea of writing 101 thoughts from a blog on buzznet... I can't remember whose blog that was. What a shame! I don't really care about being creative by now. After all, I've been working 14 hours a day for a while. Don't push me, don't pressure me, and most of all - do not judge me.

20. Hope this doesn't sound prejudice, but I completely loathe hip hop, R&B, and RAP... yew.

21. Crazy reckless drivers deserve to die of gonorrhea and burn in hell for the rest of the eternity.

22. I was bit by a dog when I was 12. Perhaps, this is why I am a cat person.

23. I left my parents' home when I was 16. I have lived far from them since then. No wonder I miss their company this bad.

24. I wish I could change this template... I have tried some new ones but not successfully... however, I'd miss this one which I built on my own. I agree with a blogger friend who once said that this template of mine looks creepy but nice at the same time.

25. I used to call "A1 steak sauce" "AL steak sauce"... that font on the label was dubious.

26. I don't think I'm afraid of meeting ghosts and supernatural existences. In fact, I wish they really existed so that I could actually experience them.

27. Morning people could also die... Who would miss them anyway?

28. When I was a kid I used to avoid swallowing gums after chewing them for hours. I thought they'd get stuck at my rectum exit door.

29. Cursing words are so helpful. They amuse me and simultaneously help me release anger. They are great because they sound great. Take some of them as an example: Bitch, Slut, Motherfucker, Bush, Shit, Asshole, and others. But my number one word is FUCK! I love to say:"FUCK OFF!" It's versatile. It can be used in any part of the speech as it had been mentioned in some other site. The F-word shouldn't be considered a forbidden vernacular. It could be said at any moment, by any person, within any situation. Imagine a straight-A student's speech being delivered at the commencement cerimony: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm fucking honored for being chosen amongst so many fucking good folks to give out my deepest words on this so fuckin' special day. Fuck all the losers who didn't manage to get here. We all know how hard we had to work it through. Some may have said - 'you're fucking crazy to go to college!'... But I said: "Hey, I'm no fuckin' idiot... I know can I make it..." And I did. We all fuckin' did!..."

30. My young students are so smart. I get way impressed by their knowledge toward technology matters. They know everything about hardwares, softwares, computer games, internet search tools, virus, and hacking. They really nail how to screw our PCs and files at PBF.

31. New curtains have been installed at my school. Some classrooms and the multimedia room is so much cozier now. I'm typing this post placing an ear-to-ear smile... Just can't control the bliss.

32. I've just now decided to register some of my personal web spots and students' blog that I've been lately kept busy on:
A. Buzznet - My Journal
B. Blog1.de - My blog in Portuguese
C. Blogger - My Students' Spot
D. My Flickr - For posting my photos (I've got camera now!)

33. Gee... can't remove this smile... Woo-hoo!!!

34. Now, my working hours are over. I am free. How I enjoy this feeling that I've accomplished my duties. I drink this cold canned beer with some much pleasure. I'm sitting in front of this computer without shoes on. My feet breathe fresh air. They're both free too. And let me not forget to mention that fart I had been holding for hours... OKay... Greaaat. Relief!!! I'm sorry If I may have offended someone about the farting part, but these folks should know that normal people tend to fart every now and then...

35. Eye drops, nose drops, cough drops... My body is 90% drops.

36. Apostrophes are fun and at the same time they scare me. People overuse them sometimes. Abbreviations are also insane. They help us save time but they also murder our will to communicate. In chatrooms, why can't I just type thoooose loooong sentences filled with enriched verbs and all the letters that are required to compose an entire and true statement??? Why??? Why???

37. http://www.brokenbeatradio.com

38. People who don't smile, you know, those that never ever smile get on my nerrrves.

39. Do you wanna be sad? Do you really need sadness in your life? Watch this and tell me what else is necessary for the rest of your days...

40. Some possible, breathtaking, and outstanding names for my someday-new-born baby: AVANT GARDE, SOLACE, DESTINY, MAVERICK, BLAZE, DAKODA, CINSERE, DIVINE, HEAVENY, KAYTAQUANA, BUBBA, and NABUCODONOSOR.

41. I was raised in Transylvania. Now, that explains many things.

42. I don't let HTML codes rule my life... Well, sometimes they seem smarter.

43. I wish I could make all my students understand that nothing would be fun if it weren't an obstacle. It's easy to understand but just a little hard to explain.

44. I can't remove this huge smile on me... What the f*ck is going on?

45. I'm not sleepy or tired either - this is just insaaaane.

46. Since I can't bump into those I love, I write them bump sticker messages.

47. I'm just glad I don't read people's mind.

48. But I can hardly ever breathe with this shitty alergy. Heeeelp!

49. I can't wait to get my dig camera... it's coming soon. (As a matter of fact, I'd written this 49th thought two days prior I actually got the camera!)

50. Isn't this post ever going to end???

51. gee, I am getting older.

52. I have been having allergies and non-stop sneezing times for over a month now. Yesterday I woke up with runny nose and today wasn't different. I can't stand this. It's hard to breathe. It's hard to talk. It's hard to have breakfast. I could have those analgesic medicines or just some nose drops, but they'll make me feel dizzy after a while. The best thing is wait and hope to get over it. Maybe I should see a doctor but I hate doing that. I haven't seen a doctor for a while. I hate doctors. Here, in Brazil, they work wearing white - just plain white. Dentists do too. The way they dress and the way they normally treat their patients scare me. My sister is going to graduate in a medical school by the end of this year. She'll have to wear those plain white outfits and probably start talking like the average doctors do. They look like ghosts to me. Hospitals are scary places too. People must walk back and forth quiet there so that they don't disturb their patients. Libraries are calm and quiet places as well but they don't frighten me. Honestly speaking, I love libraries. I get beyond excited in those aisles, in between those tall shelves, surrounded by that smell of old books and silver-fished encyclopedias. And the dusty materials make me sneeze and promote in me allergical reactions. But I won't see a doctor. Hell no!

53. "The bitter tears of Petra Von Kant" = Mint chewing gum to my bad breath

54. Speaking of swear words, here I listed some in French:
// Foutrez vous! / Putain, fait chier, merde, ta gueule / Putain de bordel de merde / Va Te Faire Foutre! / Quel Con or Conne //

55. Pineapples are good even though they worsen my heartburns. On the other hand, coffee does a great job in my mind's need for alertness.

56. My cleaning lady threw away my authentic Japanese chopsticks which were a gift from a former boss. She broke my heart.

57. I was gonna left a blank on this thought because I sometimes have 'out' moments in my brain... It's not really that meditation stuff, it's simply a mental failure.

58. I saw SAW2 for the sixth time this week.

59. Technology excites me.

60. CPR/ JVC/ CEO / VCR/ PEC/ REM/ CD-R/ RATED PG/ ID/ I-4/ BRB/ DUI/ ISO/ USA/ UFO/ NRA/ INS/ BJ/ GBH/ BMW/ AOL/ NFL/ TRL/ ASAP/ DVD/ PG-13/ CNN/ DNA/ PBS/ PBF/ UPN 44/ NIN/ MSN/ NOFX/ IRS/ DDR/ CEE/ CEI/ ESL/ RPG/ TGIF//

61. My latest google searches:
@Steve Wonder Driving School;
@How to rub while robbing the elderly;
@Spring Break drunk girls' GPA;
@Asian Backstreet Boys MP3 tunes;

62. Another something I enjoy seeing to get amused...

63. Some words in English language are so much amuzing to pronounce: girlfriend, worldwide, gurgle, gorgeous, granted, Garfield, goblet. They make feel more articulate.

64. "Comment je pourrai vivre sans mon amour, est-ce que la vie va continuer encore ou bien elle va s arrêter à son tour..."

65. While trying to finish this post, hubby saw a stupid driver running over a stray cat. The reckless idiot drove off and the cat crawled to the neighbor's yard apparently with its both back paws broken. (Break to help out the little animal!)*

66. I don't understand phone books and yellow pages in my country. I don't know if I'm the problem or if there is something else.

67. Tuesdays are still my favorite TAG!

69. Is there anyone actually reading this?

70. I've been addicted to GYOZA.

71. My job is the greatest in my opinion. I can't see myself doing anything different. The smile of a child who's just discovered the rules of the world makes me feel grand; it makes me feel living my own life from the beginning all over again.

72. I hate you in many languages:
@ Eu te odeio!
@ Ich hasse dich!
@ Je vous déteste!
@ Yo te odio!
@ Jeg hader dig!
@ Nienawidze cie!

73. I'd like a spider as a pet.

74. Why is the cold weather taking too long to arrive here???

75. Laila's opposite personality would say: "My Dig. Camera has brought me so much joy: taking pictures is my latest hobby for my every free-time. And hell, they are a lot. Yeah... You know, it's hard when we have this sort of life style that must be filled with healthy activities, otherwise I could end up broke because of my uncontrollable shopping obsession. Too much spare time plus too much money and nothing in the head is a deadly combination - Yeah... I've been considering to get a job too. Actually, this job thing is only another speculation. I can't see myself having to wake up early and respecting working schedules... Yew!"

76. Drivel shovel shrivels bubbling babbles.

77. What's the point on saying "GOOD LUCK"??? If we take into consideration that every event has its probability of occurence... Accordingly, Good Luck is defined as the occurence of, out of a set of possible events, one event with comparitively low probability of occurence and yet beneficial to the current situation of the considered subject or event or process. So when a lucky situation happens, it is because it was already supposed to. So how come we still say that in non-possible occurences of luck???

78. Still there? Doubt it!

79. http://www.myspace.com/hopeburden
80. Check these out:
ENGLISH: "The limits of my language mean the limits of the world"
CATALÀ: "Els limits de la meva llengua són els limits del món"
EUSKARA: "Nire hizkutzaren mugak munduaren mugak dira"
ESPAÑOL: "Los limites de mi lengua son los límites del mundo"
FRANÇAIS: "Les limites de ma langue sont les limites du monde"
DEUTSCH: "Meiner Sprache Grenzen sind die Grenzen der Welt"
PORTUGUÊS: "Os limites da minha língua são os limites do mundo"
FINNISH: "Kieleni rajat ovat maailmani rajat"
ITALIANO: "I limiti della mia lingua sono i limiti del mondo"
RUSSIAN: "Predely moego yazyka oznachayut predely moego mira"
ESTONIAN: "Minu keele piirid on maailma piirid"
SERBIAN: "Granice mog jezika su granice sveta"
NORWEGIAN: "Mitt språks grenser er verdens grenser"
DUTCH: "De grenzen van mijn taal zijn de grenzen van de wereld"
MALTESE: "il-limitazzjonijiet tal-lingwa tieghi, ifisru l-limitazzjonijiet tad-dinja"

81. I've been chattin' on msn with some blogger friends: GABE and ANGE.

82. Why does love exist?

83. Why is love called "love"?

84. What's the plan for tonight? It's Friday. It's drinking night. It's movie night... yeah yeah yeah, in my dreams! Gotta work tomorrow. Nevermind.

85. I can't really tell what's my favorite kinda music. However Punk Rock CD's are mostly found on the top shelves at my place. Then Hardcore... Yeah... But no EMO stuff, pls.

86. Hate mornings, hate Sundays, hate liver, hate pressure.

87. Believe it or not... I'm still smiling - Oh so unusual!!!

88. Aie aie... Liposuction would be good these days... Nope. I won't fall for the international media beauty standards. My extra pounds are necessary to make me be whom I have to.

89. Why do we love people????

90. Why do we feel that we have to love people???

91. I procrastinate - true - but at least I get things done in the end.

92. Let me swim in your blood vessels... Well... Maybe you shouldn't because I will clog them.

93. I can't wait to see my faaaaamily.

94. I was wondering if anyone has ever made a list of people he/she would kill if he/she had the chance to... I'm already working on mine:
- My former math teacher when I was in fifth grade. She certainly deserves to die;
- A bully girl from my seventh grade. I won't say her name here because she might read my blog;
- Bush father and Bush son;
- All sales call operators;
- Woody Allen (hihihi);
- Whoever invented cellphones.
Of course I'd kill myself afterwards coz I wouldn't ever want to spend a day in prison.

95. Tocqueville wrote so much great shit.

96. Hope you're reading this with a great soundtrack on the back. If not, here's a good hint for some noise:
"We're as stubborn as mules with our blood on fire
When we ain't at Sunday Mass
We'll look any man straight in his eyes and say
Kiss my Irish ass, you better kiss my Irish ass!"'

97. Some monkeys eat their own shit - "How smart! They recycle!!!"

98. Why is it so good to find out about those who block us on msn? What difference does that make after all? I'm a stupid child inside.

99. This is almost ending... be patient.

99. My voice has been hoarse again.

100. Congrats if you got through this lame possssstA.

101. I love. I love my job. I love languages. I love many folks. I love many things. I love the abstract noun LOVE and the verb too. I had been down because loving this much can't be good at all. However, I'm dealing with better days.

*Later, I'll write more about the cat... It has just now been found.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Copying and pasting...

Copying and pasting... Wait a minute! I'm not depressed, I just felt like publishing this text. Click here and you'll see the source.

This was found on a bathroom wall somewhere in the U.S.A....

"You've taken over my mind. You've raped my thoughts with your image viruses then sold me fake cures for your own disease. Your words and pictures scream orders at me like angry prison wardens. When I cover my ears, your voices echo in my head. I hate you. When I see your billboards, your talk shows, your rock concerts and your factories, when I see the work of your twisted libidos, I want to kill you. I want to set fires, plant bombs, derail trains. I want to smash your buildings and tear at your bodies until the skin of my hands is worn to the bone. I am filled with a rage that burns my eyes.

I don't want to feel this way. You have done this to me. These feelings are the fruits of your multi-billion dollar sowing. And I am not alone. There are others like me out here. Every suicide, every madman, every man and woman who gets a gun and just starts shooting -- these are your illegitimate children. They don't all know what they are doing. All they know is hate for the invisible walls which you have raised around them, hate for the narrow path you have tried to make them walk. And the innocent pay in blood for your negligence.

Remember this: My mind is big. The more you try to push me down and make me small, the greater the pressure inside me becomes. The greater the pressure, the greater the chance of an explosion. There was once a time when I felt love, but now I feel only hate and anger, and fear at what I might do. And you can tell me to "BE HAPPY," but I know that you really mean "BE QUIET".

Believe me, I want to be happy. You stand in my way."


Saturday, March 25, 2006

blogging on best comments ever

I might have a thorough sense of metalinguistics awareness for being this inquisitive individual when it comes to language. Since child, I used to correct folks around me when they'd mispronounce or give wrong punctuations. I also used to make up list of words that sounded funny to my ears. Old-fashioned verbs and adjectives were present in my vocabulary since those early years. (They have been still.) When I got into music, I'd wildly critize and judge others' "bad" taste for music. When I had figured out I'd become a writer, I thought I should study journalism ahead of that, so that I'd be able to review my own writings... maybe (?)! I guess that is why I was once called 'philosopher' by my great friend Marcele -- I can't stop this awareness in me.

This post will be my web chance to show this so-called ability in me. I've decided to start a compilation of the best comments on my blogspot of all times. I will also come up with comments on these top-hit comments. I've been blessed during these last two years because I have really gotten a few avid and regular readers. The best part is that they leave a trace. These readers leave behind sometimes a piece of furniture, a jewel, even a whole property in the exchange of words: THE PAWNSHOP. There wouldn't ever be a better title for this blog. Best comments - or complaints - I've ever received, here they come:

@BULB'S:
bulb wrote...
I couldn't sell my ass in a gaybar. But then....... I look awful in a suit.
p.s. Im back.
5:18 PM

This was a comment on a post about my salesrepresentative phobia. Besides being a very understanding Bulb's testimonial, it was him announcing his return on the blogsphere. Double delight. Thanks Bulb for being ever present in my spot.

@SAUCY'S:
Saucy Monk wrote...
well put into words.
you sound kinda serious though.
you a serious person?

That was comment on a short attempt of abstract nonsense poetry of mine. What amuses me about this comment is the whole contradicting idea Saucy had got about me. No, Saucy. I am not a serious person. I have nothing serious in me. I know that my blog template and some of my mad posts can scare the hell out of people, but I can't be serious. In fact, my finger tips melt every time I start typing humorless words. Believe me, I tend to scrape the still-molten remainings of them off the computer keyboard, place them in a mold and after some minutes of freezer, they're back on their normal human functions. Gotta be careful though, I'm almost running out of the tips - the best part - like Chandler, in FRIENDS, once said.

@FINEARTIST'S:
fineartist wrote...
Photographs at a funeral, marvelous idea! Original and funny as heck, I like the way you think. I immediately began seeing people shuffling around the room with combs and mirrors primping for the snaps. They could hire professional photographers…..
Professional photographer: “Next, who’s next?”
Mourning family member: “I think Aunt Martha is next. Where is she? Oh, Auntie there you are, come, come, it’s your turn to pose with the deceased, hurry up.”
Aunt Martha: “Why? He’s not going anywhere is he?”
However, candids would be amazing, since every family seems to have one, or several goof balls who like to wait till someone falls asleep, mess them all up in various manners, and take pics of them.
Mourning family member: “Okay, who was the wise guy who put lipstick, false eye lashes, and a brassiere on Uncle Harold? And, somebody get over there and remove that piece of sausage from his fly.”
--I am enjoying your blog.
1:57 AM

I have this strange habit of listing random thoughts, so this post was one of those in which I wrote about how I imagine my funeral. Lori exquisitely added details on it. I could only crack at her rich imaginative follow-up of my listing. Love you, Lori.

@WRITERMOM'S:
Writer Mom wrote...
You hilarious nut job!
11:45 PM

This was the shortest and the best comment on my blog by Angeline. This lady really understands me. It was published on this post in which I listed 'ten truths about me.' Yep... those were tough words. I'm glad I have fully recovered from that little outbreak. Let me tell you all, it is never easy to hold farts back, imagine yourselves a person having to keep so many secrets about her personality. I just had to let them out. If you guys haven't read that post yet, you oughtta. Ange, your precious comments are and will always be welcome on this poor and humble blogspot.

@RAIN'S:
Rain wrote...
I want one too! A hello kitty lap top is too expensive, so I'll get the toaster.
9:27 PM

Cathy has chosen a wonderful blognickname: RAIN. I love when it rains. It is actually raining right now and that is probably why I got inspired to start this post. That was Rain's comment on my post where I announce my Christmas wish-gift. I wounded up getting a regular plain white toaster and a cheap stuffed Hello Kitty. I loved the presents I got anyway. It's truly fun to have Rain's comments on my spot. We get connected vibes so many times that we often post similar topic entries simultaneously. It's huge to have her around. "Sorry, for having missed your b-day... I really didn't know about it!"

@GABE'S:
Gabe wrote...
That was positively awesome. I honestly consider it an instant classic. (May I repost it on my blog?)!Y Feliz Cumpleanos mi amiga!
May the best of your past be the worst of your future.
2:35 AM

No one had ever mentioned that a poem of mine would become a classic. That was awfully good to read. Gabe had that insight about a poem I wrote on my 30-year-old birthday. Having those words coming from this amazing writer can only enhance my spirit.

CURIOSITY FACT: I've been thirsty for books. So, my sporadic updates here will continue being sporadic.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Un conejo musical de Índias

I've been very busy lately because of excess of classes, I have started two new blogs as well, and I have been also involved in some other stuff that I'd rather not mention on this post. In short, I'm overwhelmed - I have not been able to blog on blogger which I have missed a lot since it is my favorite kind of fun. In contrast, I have listened to music like a freak. Internet is a blessing for that, "good gracious"! Music's played an important role in my life, especially when I was teenager. To me, music is essential to fill in the hollow parts of all walls in every place of our souls. I believe that people who don't listen to music may have greater difficulties at expressing love, hate, anger, despisal, approval, friendship, anxiety...

I don't make music - I wish though. I am no musician at all. I just have a list of some of my favorite artists whom I believe can release true material. I won't mention their names because my taste for music is irrelevant. However, when it comes to music, i can say that I normally get my attention caught by artists that write what they sing and play. My first contact with music was pretty much contradicting and therefore very peculiar. The albums I could find home were Dad's. I used to listen to Bob Dylan, John Denver, The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Creedence Clearwater Revival, ABBA, Carpenters, Joan Baez, and others I could name here forever.

Surprisingly, I got to enjoy classical music too, but from television. When I was a kid, I used to watch this classical piano performances TV show that would be aired on a public broadcast channel in Brazil every Sunday (it is still aired). That show was hosted by a famous classical Brazilian pianist and because of his talent and 'carisma', I got totally infatuated by the instrument and not only did I feel like learning how to play it, but also becoming a real pianist. By the age of 9, I convinced mom to get me a private piano teacher and a Fritz Dobbert piano. I got the teacher, but I never had the piano; it would've been way expensive for my family to afford it back then.

Two years later, I started attending a conservatory where we were mostly girls wearing down-on-the-knees pleated navy blue skirts, tall white socks, and black shoes. There, I'd spend at least one entire afternoon per week taking Introduction to Band and Conducting Techniques, Music Theory, Flute, Piano lessons (of course), and Choire Practices. I had been studying at that conservatory for almost 6 years when I decided that going to college was more important to me.

I really thought I was going to graduate in music, but I gave it up just like that. Literature and movies took over me. By that time, in the early 90's, I had more CD's than vynil albums in my house shelves. I listened to grunge, punk rock, hardcore, trash metal and too little of Brazilian music. I was never motivated to hear Brazilian music at home. Maybe because my dad is an ESL teacher and nuts about American music and culture. He and mom were most of the time listening to British and American musicians around me.

I care for music a lot but I may not be that music affectionate in the sense that I go after the musician's biography before I buy a CD. I used to be this way, perhaps, but nowadays not anymore. If I like what I hear, I'll simply get it. Then, I listen to it as many times as I think it is possible to play a CD. I play it over and over until my stomach gets sick. I'm worse than pop radio stations or MTV. Well... you know what? Giving some thought to it, those media are worse than my style of listening to music. They are more terrible for sure because they play and replay what they want people to listen to. It's brainwash. We are forced to hear, as a consequence enjoy, and inevitably buy whatever powerful record labels rule. I confess that I get to know many of the musicians I now listen to through these media - especially via internet - but... come on... not everything out there is possible to be heard.

Neverthless, radio stations and MTV play some songs so many, but so many, times that even if I had had a slight chance of being fond of those musicians, it would have been nulified. Playing repetitively songs simply don't work for me. In fact, I get the fully opposite feeling: REPULSE. There are certain tunes that every time I hear their first chords, I either turn off the TV or radio by launching my sneakers towards the device, or I pull the plug cord in a devilish way. I really do that sometimes and I get those weird thoughts like: "Get the hell out of here... My earlobes ain't toilet bowls." I'll list a few tracks here so that you, fellow blog readers, can have some idea of what I'm writing about:

Spin Doctors - Two Princess(aie aie aie)
"One, two, princess*** kneel before you
(that’s what I said, now)
Princes, princess who adore you
(just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that sounds great, now)
This one, said he wants to buy you lockets
(ain’t in his head, now)
This one, he got a princely racket
(that’s what I said, now)"
***note - wtf is that??? singing about princess or calling someone like that... who does that?

Counting Crows - Mr. Jones
"Sha*** la la la la la la..... hmm, uh huh...
I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with a black-haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
Man I wish I was beautiful
So come dance this silence down through the mornin'
Sha la la la la la la la yeah.. uh huh, yeah..."
***note - when I listen to that SHA LA LA LA... I feel like pissing blood on that guy's beard...

LemonHead - Mrs Robinson
"And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson***
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)"
***note - Simon and Garfunkel original tune is less irritating.

Four Non Blondes - What's Going On
"25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope
for a destination***
I realized quickly when I knew I should
that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
for whatever that means"
***note - it's been 50 years now, I guess...

Love music regardless...


Poetry/Curiosity Facts:
El Miedo

Una mañana, nos regalaron un conejo de Índias.
Llegó a casa enjaulado.
Al mediodía, le abrí la puerta de la jaula.
Volví a casa al anochecer
y lo encontré tal como lo había dejado:
jaula adentro, pegado a los barrotes,
temblando del susto de la liberdad.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

...::: ----- :::...

Dreams
by Edgar Allan Poe
1827


Oh! that my young life were a lasting dream!
My spirit not awakening, till the beam
Of an Eternity should bring the morrow.
Yes! tho' that long dream were of hopeless sorrow,
'Twere better than the cold reality
Of waking life, to him whose heart must be,
And hath been still, upon the lovely earth,
A chaos of deep passion, from his birth.
But should it be—that dream eternally
Continuing—as dreams have been to me
In my young boyhood—should it thus be given,
'Twere folly still to hope for higher Heaven.
For I have revell'd, when the sun was bright
I' the summer sky, in dreams of living light
And loveliness,—have left my very heart
In climes of my imagining, apart
From mine own home, with beings that have been
Of mine own thought—what more could I have seen?
'Twas once—and only once—and the wild hour
From my remembrance shall not pass- some power
Or spell had bound me—'twas the chilly wind
Came o'er me in the night, and left behind
Its image on my spirit—or the moon
Shone on my slumbers in her lofty noon
Too coldly—or the stars—howe'er it was
That dream was as that night-wind—let it pass.


I have been happy, tho' in a dream.
I have been happy—and I love the theme:
Dreams! in their vivid coloring of life,
As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife
Of semblance with reality, which brings
To the delirious eye, more lovely things
Of Paradise and Love—and all our own!
Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Don't Leave Me Without Consulting Me

I've had this blogspot for almost like two years now and I can't imagine my life without this THE PANWSHOP... I might be wrong but I wouldn't put an end in it without consulting my fellow regular readers. No, ma'am. No sir. I wouldn't simply walk away thinking that it'll be just a hit on a 'delete this blog' button.


So many blogs are started and abandoned every day, all the time. Too bad that sometimes they are even left out by their owners without any further explanations to the readers. But what bugs me is to find a great blog only some days before it is deleted. I wish bloggers signed a contract saying that they are expected to stick with that blogspot and honor it for at least five years. And let's not forget a short notice at least 3 months prior the elimination of the blog.


I encountered this blog (see photo above) like a month ago and I had been enjoying it so much since then... but just yesterday*, she (Candy, the blogger) announced its end. Why do people like to hurt us this bad? Why do they kill their spots as they were mere hiper-texts shining on a computer screen??? A blog that is once born must resist and last as long as its owner is alive. I may be sort of exaggerating here but that was a true estatement. Don't they see that each time we link a new blog into our templates, a connection is set by a commitment of a new regular reader? Maybe I ought to be more clear...

Since I've started blogging, this is being the time I've had the largest number of readers. As a result, I feel like reading their blogs back in order to show them my deepest respect. Some of those spots are so interesting that I end up linking them... And these fellow bloggers soon become like family. You see? When these folks decide on their own to quit blogging, and worse than that, they decide to vanish with all that had been posted, and sometimes they do those without posting even a farewell letter - you know those good-bye posts that sound more like a suicide note to me, it seems that the world will collapse in front of me. I just can't take it too easy.

Why why why??? How come those bloggers do these things to me? What have I done wrong? How come these folks come and go like I simply don't count in this world? This is so true. Another case was with this spot. It is called RETROBABE and its owned by an interesting guy called Ian.


It used to have a deep red background and tons of information on music. Luckily, the pressure of all readers made his return with a whole new template and the same great contents on music.

I just love when I know I've been read and I do have a blast when I find out I am being linked into other bloggers' spots. I just think that these kinds of reading responses are a great deal of fun. When I myself link people's spots into mine, I believe this is me officially saying:"From now on, I'll be reading your posts religiously. You are actually almost a member of my family." I may not leave comments on every post I read, but I'm there. I'll be always there. So, you guys who are keeping your blogs for some time now, and mostly you guys who have your spots linked to mine or vice-versa, you all ought to know that you should not come on with those suicide notes saying that you won't blog anymore or that you'll vanish your spot from blogsphere. No, no, no thank you so much. This ain't really nice. It's just plain misery.

*I started writing this post a week ago.

Black Power

I have already felt trapped, and  even powerless due to being with someone who wouldn't give me validation, hope. I lacked h...