It has been 8 years I found out this outlet to my deviated brain. I had started it way before I gave therapy a shot, quit drinking, began doing pilates, had my first tattoo done, and adopted my first cat. Nobody can stop me, but me. First time ever being sued. Ha! Have been actually sued twice this year. I am no longer being assisted by a therapist and this is it. This is the moment I have to deal with these matters all by myself.
Or do I? Adulthood is a drag. When I was a kid, I could predict that: I had never wanted to grow up. I avoid this process, anyway. How? I am simply NOT an adult. I am not quite sure whether I am a human being at all as it is hard to believe that people can be mischievous and self-seeking. I am not ready to understand that and I don't want to ever be. What to do in order not to give in, then? Well, if I knew the answer, I'd be considered a guru.
I have majored in psychology in order to at least grasp humans as they are... oh man, how hard this is to figure out. At least, I am not down in the dumps like I used to be. I was weak and now I am plain. Neither weak, nor strong. Just plain. Whatever that means, I am not giving in. The answer is NO.
I sometimes question my ability in writing in a language that is not my mother tongue. I pretty much grew up without a mother figure, metaphorically speaking. If she reads this, she'll get mad or disappointed or even both. However, I grew up with a tongue. My skills to orally express myself is rather frail. Hence, this blog.
There will be more years constructing and destroying this spot on the web based on me and nobody else. Can't tell for sure whether this is working to anyone but it is working for me. Long live my Pawnshop!
Let me republish my very first entry of this blog:
My dream future is happening right now, just as I speak (or blog). The world may become one nation while I am here trying to prepare myself to understand, be part of, and survive in this historical moment. My writings have become my instrument to conquer my space. I have seen many things in life, but not everything that there is to see. This is what brought me to this practice; the possibility of learning how to play this instrument (writing) accurately and sophisticatedly. I've always believed that writing allows one to live different experiences, breathe in distant drafts, and step on exotic soils. Writing is so powerful. Besides, I am enchanted with this media technology called webblogs. Blogs are useful reading because it is a language that entertains, amuses, and even teaches about new places, cultures, and other people's ways to see life through without killing the magic of the moment. Here, you'll read old letters I received, past emails sent, school and college projects that made me proud of my 3.8 GPA, my mad poems which will be part of a "maybe-book" named THE PAWNSHOP (got the picture?), and other epiphanies. Through my writings, I have gotten the capacity to organize this whole wide world, to plan the chaos, and give meaning to all facts in my life.
Or do I? Adulthood is a drag. When I was a kid, I could predict that: I had never wanted to grow up. I avoid this process, anyway. How? I am simply NOT an adult. I am not quite sure whether I am a human being at all as it is hard to believe that people can be mischievous and self-seeking. I am not ready to understand that and I don't want to ever be. What to do in order not to give in, then? Well, if I knew the answer, I'd be considered a guru.
I have majored in psychology in order to at least grasp humans as they are... oh man, how hard this is to figure out. At least, I am not down in the dumps like I used to be. I was weak and now I am plain. Neither weak, nor strong. Just plain. Whatever that means, I am not giving in. The answer is NO.
I sometimes question my ability in writing in a language that is not my mother tongue. I pretty much grew up without a mother figure, metaphorically speaking. If she reads this, she'll get mad or disappointed or even both. However, I grew up with a tongue. My skills to orally express myself is rather frail. Hence, this blog.
There will be more years constructing and destroying this spot on the web based on me and nobody else. Can't tell for sure whether this is working to anyone but it is working for me. Long live my Pawnshop!
Let me republish my very first entry of this blog:
My dream future is happening right now, just as I speak (or blog). The world may become one nation while I am here trying to prepare myself to understand, be part of, and survive in this historical moment. My writings have become my instrument to conquer my space. I have seen many things in life, but not everything that there is to see. This is what brought me to this practice; the possibility of learning how to play this instrument (writing) accurately and sophisticatedly. I've always believed that writing allows one to live different experiences, breathe in distant drafts, and step on exotic soils. Writing is so powerful. Besides, I am enchanted with this media technology called webblogs. Blogs are useful reading because it is a language that entertains, amuses, and even teaches about new places, cultures, and other people's ways to see life through without killing the magic of the moment. Here, you'll read old letters I received, past emails sent, school and college projects that made me proud of my 3.8 GPA, my mad poems which will be part of a "maybe-book" named THE PAWNSHOP (got the picture?), and other epiphanies. Through my writings, I have gotten the capacity to organize this whole wide world, to plan the chaos, and give meaning to all facts in my life.
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