Stolen from www.cracked.com

"While most well adjusted members of society view music as an enjoyable addendum to life, perhaps a distraction or even a hobby, hipsters know that music is serious business. Having been picked on since a very young age by those who found their talents lay in athletics, they decided the ideal place to exercise influence was in the fields of listening to stuff and putting on clothes. Most people who aren't hipsters recognize these areas as naturally subjective, and generally not worth giving much of a shit about, which allows hipsters to win the argument for the simple reason that they're the only ones who care enough to notice that it's going on.
 

If asked to define what it is to be a hipster, one might be tempted to give a number of answers. Passion for obscure bands, obtuse fashion sense, cheapness masquerading as quirkiness or upper-middle-class white self loathing are all popular. In actuality, most of the culture boils down to judging. Judging items, activities, bands, companies, clothes, oneself and most importantly other people. If someone else is less savvy, cutting edge or knowledgeable than you, doesn't that mean you are a better person?

Hipsters must therefore strive at all times to stay a step ahead of everyone else. Worshiping the most obscure bands available and then dismissing them after they come out with their first LP is a good start. Successfully using the phrase "I was into them before..." is rumored to actually make a hipster's penis larger.
Hipsters also attempt to stay on the cusp of their perverted version of fashion. Are black framed glasses out? Try 60's horn-rims. Does your friend have his lip pierced? Try cutting yours off. This isn't about beauty or even basic hygiene. This is about looking like you traveled back from the not too distant future. A future populated by douchebags.

You may be wondering: isn't all this ridiculous scrambling to attach oneself to the next big thing exhausting? Doesn't it reflect a deep personal flaw that people would choose to relentlessly consume rather than attempt to create? Isn't this a sad comment on the state of society that people would glorify this type of inane behavior? Well, that's exactly what I'd expect someone who didn't buy the In Rainbows boxset to say, asshole! Maybe you'd prefer Coldplay?"