Awkward conversations starters to avoid:

1. "You know anything about rectal itch?

2. "I spoke to Jesus last night. Jesus Christ, that is."

3. "Hustler printed my letter... wanna see?"

4. "They think they can fire ME? I'll show 'em."

5. "TB, my ass. Those doctors don't know nuthin' (cough, cough)."

6. "Hey, nice pants!"

7. "Does this look malignant to you?"

8. "Yep, I used to smoke too before my sex change."

9. "What wine goes good with human flesh?"

10. "You look like a nice guy. I'll do you half-price."

11. "How does your light shine in the halls of Shambala?"

12. "Do you believe in life after love?"

13. "Hey buddy, do you know where the nearest blood bank is?"

14. "You wanna buy a midget?"

15. "Would you like some candy?"

16. "You look a lot like my old prison buddy."

17. "Woof, woof!"

18. "Wanna see something weird?"

19. "I always fart when I cough."

20. "What time does the President's motorcade pass through here?"

21. "We meet again, eh, Herr Doktor?"

22. "I'm wearing a thong... backwards."

23. "You don't look so tough."

24. "Sure is a nice day for a hanging."

25. "Relax... it's not real."

26. "Can you give me directions to the nearest playground?"

27. Damn, you shor' gots a purty mouth."

28. "See something you like, mister?"

29. "Do you like monkeys?"

30. "I shall haveth thine soul before the morrow."

31. "Assume the position."

32. "Do you have the document?"

33. "I just let the dogs out."

34. "Pardon me, Earthling... may I obtain a saliva sample?"

35. "Watch this..."

NOTE: Got this from http://worldoflongmire.com/oddsnends/converstart/index.html