I wish I could write for real
I wish my friends were around
I wish they never lied to me
I wish I hadn't drown in this high tide
I wish so many things
I also wish that those many things weren't needed...
I wish I were taller
I wish I had more pleasures in life
I wish life hadn't abandoned me in the ocean
I wish the ocean were gray
I wish I could hide better my filthiness
I wish I believed in supernatural forces
I wish God believed in me
I wish so many things
I also wish that those things weren't too many
I wish I were smarter
I wish I didn't disappoint that much
I wish I could find all cures
I wish my fingers tips answered faster
I wish those answers had been enough
I wish so many things
I also wish that some of those things were tangible
I wish I were Lispector
I think you are marvelous just the way you are, but the fact that you are constantly striving to be more, to have more quality in your life, speaks well for you.
ReplyDeleteLaila, you are a quality individual. Love love love, Lori
Also, Clarice was a beautiful and interesting person.
Thank you LORI for sharing these words. I do struggle for quality. You couldn't be so right. I live to the enjoyment of great art work!
ReplyDeleteI do look for being a better person each day. You got that straighter than ever. I've started reading one of Clarice's book and I can't hide that her style and her beauty does affect ME!!! Like you said, I don't need to be like she was. But I must look for being respected just the way she was.
I think those of us who are most alive I wish so many things. wishing and wanting makes us better people. striving people. accomplishing, living people.
ReplyDeletebeautiful poetry, and thanks for the link to the very talented writer.... just from the glimpse I gained on that site I can see she was a very talented woman.
as so are you. xo
Hello Laila, As I read your latest I could not help but reflect that you are one step away from a very normal spiritual practice which Sufi's call Muhasaba (examination of conscience) and Buddhists call Mindfulness. The practice is noticing without judgment, that is the next step. It's a tricky place to be as one must not only notice what one is wishing for or feeling but one must also notice how one reacts to the desires or emotions. If you can do it though, there is a wonderful thing that happens, you begin to see your potential. It's as if your struggle is to push through who you think you are to who you really are and this is your psyche doing some pushing.
ReplyDeleteI took this to mean that you'll never try to put a cigarette fire out with your bare hands. Is that what you meant by never being like her?
ReplyDelete(and now I'm going over to Amazon to add Lispector to my wishlist...)
I am happy that you introduced me to this writer whom I knew nothing about.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel regret that I got caught up in living a "normal" life and I did not pursue either being an artist or a writer with a great passion. It is a rare thing to be such a single minded person.
Do you like to read Silvia Plath?
She was what I consider single minded. I admire her, in spite of her mental problems. Today, she could be treated with medication, perhaps.
She never held any job other than a writer, except for university teaching.
You are still young and very talented. I think you have many great things still to do in your life.
Think good thoughts sweetie!!