Tuesday, April 21, 2015


AlOnE

i MISS MY FRIENDS,

MISS MY FAMILY,

MISS MYSELF.

i MISS MYSELF FULL OF REGRETS

REGRETS OF NOT BEING WHAT i WANTED TO.

i MISS ALL THE ABSENCE WHICH ONCE SURROUNDED ME...

i FEAR ME

i FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF,

AND i ALSO HAVE OTHER VIOLENT FEELINGS TOWARDS ME -

VIOLENT FEELINGS,

BUT THEY JUST STAND STILL ON THE TOP OF THE SHELF,

RIGHT NEXT TO MY POT OF LOVE WHICH IS DUSTY AND DULL.

EVEN BEING FUZZY AND GOOEY, IT'S JUST ONE.

i RELISH ALL THOSE WHO ARE ALONE,

CHERISH MY LOSSES TOO.

FEAR INVADES MY HOUSE,

BREAKS INTO MY ROOM,

AND IT'LL COVER WHATEVER IT SEES FIT.

NO FRIENDS TO PROTECT ME,

NO FAMILY WHATSOEVER,

AND WHO ELSE IS LEFT TO HELP?

NOT EVEN MYSELF.

i MISS MYSELF.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

On becoming Vegan

My dear blog reader and this is also for myself: in April 2015 hubby and I decided on becoming vegan. It took us a while, a long while. But we've made it.

The process started 2 years ago when Roberto won Abu Dhabi Pro for the second time. On a Sunday evening, during a road trip, driving home from Gramado, I came up with the ideia of going vegetarian once and for all. We did. We quit meat, except for fish.

Now it is official. No more milk. No more eggs. No more cheese. Being vegan has never been my personal goal. However, this is the best decision I've ever made in my life. It has been 15 days and I've lost 4 pounds already. I am not very proud of losing weight because I am way underweight. I am eating bigger portions now as I don't to end up skin and bones.

Imagine yourselves reading this blog 11 years ago, you would've been reading messages around this blog template against vegetarianism or veganism for that matter. For a long long long time I refused becoming green.

In conclusion, there's no better time for a life shift. In secret, I have always wanted to be vegan. And this is it :)

Sunday, April 12, 2015

A break from anti-demonstration arguments

It is getting more and more serious the Brazilisn partisan reality, the broken society, the extremists from both wings which will forever harm relationships.
Meh

Sunday, March 29, 2015

5 Things Emotionally Stable People Don't Do

From RelationshipsSpirituality

1. They don’t get offended by other people’s behavior. (Check)

The way other people act and behave around you, is not about you. The majority of people are so caught up in their own lives and their own responsibilities, struggles, and problems, that that the way they effect you doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t intentionally being mean or neglectful, they’re just busy, and everyone can be a bit self-centered on occasion. And that’s alright!

2. They don’t get lost in useless drama and arguments. (Not Check)

Being emotionally stable means you don’t have to stay and fight all the petty arguments and battles that are thrown in your face. You have no reason to stick around and respond to people’s rude remarks and pointless negativity. Don’t respond with insults, just walk away and keep your head high.

3. They don’t let one bad day get them down. (Not Check)

Sometimes the worst things can bring you the best places. Just because it seems like your cursed right now, doesn’t mean that’s what the rest of your life is going to be like. No matter how horrible things may seem, you can’t give up. Just because something bad happened, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.

4. They don’t think they’re perfect. (Double Check)

Regardless of what people may think, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. Everyone from Albert Einstein to Michael Jordan and experienced tremendous failure. You’re going to disappoint people in your life and other people are going to disappoint you. It’s not because we’re all heartless, but because we’re human. Don’t expect perfection and you won’t be disappointed.

5. They don’t hate themselves. (Triple Check)

Everyone finds them self drowning the sea of self-hate on occasion. It happens. However, bear in mind, you were not born to feel this way. Some past experience has enforced the message that something is innately wrong with you, and you internalized the lie, accepting it as truth. We need to challenge these false beliefs and bring back our sense of self-respect. It’s going to be hard and it’s not going to happen overnight.

In conclusion: I am far from being emotional stable.  I've gotta learn how to deal with it. That's all.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Long time no blog...

I will be back here soon to rant about 2015, the Brazilian crisis, disappointments, and much more.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

I am a teetotaler!

Love love love to learn new words in English.

"Teetotaler" is the word we use to call people who do not drink alcoholic beverages. I'd think of SOBER which is also okay. However this Tee... thing sounds nicer. I have been a teetotaler since March 3rd 2011.

The reason why I quit drinking is because I've already had enough of alcohol in this life, ... maybe enough for 3 lives in case reincarnation exists. I feel relieved to know that I haven't had hangovers since then and I won't ever feel it again. Yeah. I don't plan on going back to the drinking habit any time soon.

Many people ask me about social gatherings where alcohol plays in an important role. Well, since I decided on quitting drinking, I have had ZERO social life. No more drinking, no more hanging out with friends. True. You quit the habit, not the society.

Alcohol is the social lubricant and there are cultures in which giving up alcohol is totally unthinkable. It is the case of Brazilian customs. We are having carnival, for example, and everybody dresses up, dances, and drinks until they pass out. I am sorry but I can't find the fun out of this practice anymore. I used to, though. I used to drink a lot. I would go to party where the music sucked just for the free drinks. I used to have social life.

I am a teetotaler and I feel sorta proud... and weird. Actually, there's nothing to feel proud. You just quit. Nonetheless, getting the help from meds is a plus. My sobriety did not result from my willpower by itself. That'd be too magical! Magic is welcome but it is hard to happen. I have been stuck with reality and  have been manipulating my neurotransmitters since then with  prescribed medications.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Reposting from a long time...

Ten truths about myself:


It's about time for you all - fellow bloggers, students, friendly readers - to know some truths about me... Embrace yourself and don't ever tell me that I have never warned you about these things.


1. If I stay more than 32 hours with empty stomach, I'll faint. I've also had this peculiar habit of shutting my eyes really tight every time I sneeze. My husband thinks this is kinda cute, though.

2.
I've been trained by skillful disciples of an Indian guru called Paramahansa Yogananda to obtain the power of resurrecting living creatures. Since I'm in my early studies,
so far, my power has only worked on recovering lizards' tails.

3.
Some of the products that I can't live without are: adult diapers, dandruff shampoos, sleeping pills, holy water, concealer, and self-help books.


4. If I touch hot boiling water or heat up iron, I get burnt skin and blisters come out after that. And this is hard to say... but... my farts and belches aren't fragrant.

5.
Some of the things you'll find in my bedroom are a butterfly knife, lithium, rat poison, pepper spray, a pile of old "O" magazines, and a box with all Mariah Carrey's best singles - anything for self-defense and protection.
6. Had I been born in Malaysia, I would have been born a toothless illiterate bald baby.

7.
Some cars aren't made for me. They have got three pedals and I was born with only two legs.


8.
Satan has found a way to control my technology devices. Many times while typing unsaved posts for blogs, e-mails for supplier, or working on translations, these texts manage to completely disappear from the computer system. And that normally happens after a computer screen window is closed. Where do these files go? Ask Satan. I almost forgot to mention some weird schemes that lie beneath some commands such as control-V, control-C, control-Z, control-N, and control-A. These are all devilish tools. I must exorcise this machine.
9. I don't want to shock any of you guys but I can't stand roaches so I do kill them in coldbloodedness when they come across.

10. Finally, I am very much ashamed of this, but... I have decided to let out some of my truths, so here it is: I have no power to control my heart beats. This is doggone true. Besides, I've got no eating disorders either. I've got no phobias, mental disturbance, or traumas. I'm free from depression or any sort of stress. Actually, I am not quite sure if I'm alive.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Tuesday Late at Work

 
I am tired. Not news. 

I am 20 kilos thinner (yeah, I lost 40 pounds). This is hell of good news. 
Losing weight is somehow new data on this blog. However, I've been losing weight since I quit drinking alcohol and that was about 5 years ago. 

I have also gone semi-vegetarian and that has been almost almost for two years. My body is better. My mind is better. I love animals and I do believe that we can only fully respect the environment and all animals if we do not kill them for any reason whatsoever. 

What is not news though is the fact that I still depend on psychiatric medicine. When I mess up with the amount I am supposed to intake, I never get to wake up okay. I lost the track of time during my last night's sleep. I got up at a quarter to ten. I was expected to be in class at 9:30. Yeah. I ran one hour late. I felt so embarrassed that I had to come up with a fake excuse: "I had an asthma attack and ended up in the hospital." 

I am evil. Nope. I am far from being evil. 

I am human. I am a tired human :) 
Not news!

There, there

Thursday, November 13, 2014

English Speaking Project 2015

Alguns alunos sentem muita dificuldade em FALAR em inglês. Eu escuto isso, principalmente de alunos que afirmam entenderem tudo o que ouvem, conseguem ler com rapidez e muitos até escrevem com maestria. No entanto, travam quando tentam se expressar oralmente. Isso era a minha realidade também quando eu era estudante. Por isso, decidi postar aqui uma lista de dicas que podem colaborar na superação dessa dificuldade que é tão normal. Essas dicas foram extraídas desse site: http://www.espressoenglish.net/

How to Speak Fluent English:

1) Understand that there is no “magic trick.”

Yes, there are different methods, and some are more effective than others. For example, a good English course should balance all the areas of language (speaking, listening, vocabulary, grammar, reading, writing). If any of those elements are missing, then you will have difficulty becoming fluent.

Also, different methods will appeal to different people. I personally do very well with "BUILDING BLOCKS OF INFORMATION" and I memorize them by ORAL and MENTAL repetition; other people hate memorization. Some students can pick up English easily from informal conversations, from songs, video games, social networking; other students prefer a more organized and structured method.

Still, becoming fluent in English – or any language – is a long-term process.

If anyone says they have “the secret” to instant fluency… don’t believe them!

2) Use English in your daily life as much as possible.

It’s more important to have frequent contact with English than to have hours and hours of study. Using English for 10 minutes a day, every day, is better than studying for 1 hour only once a week.

Even if you don’t live in an English-speaking country, there are still many ways to do this!

Here are just a few suggestions for making English part of your daily life:

- Listen to English as you drive to work.
- Read the news online in English instead of in your native language.
- Practice thinking in English while you are doing housework or exercise.
- Read articles, blogs, magazines, listen to podcasts, and watch videos in English about topics you enjoy (this is important! You will make much more progress if you are having fun during the process).

3) Balance the areas of language learning.
-Reading
-Writing
-Speaking
-Listening
-Grammar
-Vocabulary

Many students make the error of focusing too much on one or two areas, and they end up being weak in the other areas. One tip is to dedicate one day per week to studying and practicing each area.

4) Get a regular speaking partner through a “conversation exchange” website.

You can’t just study English… you need to USE your English!

If you have nobody to speak with in daily life, you can find a speaking partner online through a “conversation exchange” website. On these websites, you can meet native English speakers who want to learn your native language – this way, you can both help each other learn and practice.

Here are some conversation exchange websites and free dictionaries:

*conversationexchange.com
*sharedtalk.org
*englishbaby.com
*Speaking24.com
*flork,com
*LiveMocha’s conversation exchange
*thefreedictionary.com
*urbandictionary.com

Try to speak with your partner at least once a week. This is so important for practicing as well as building your confidence!

5) Read, watch and listen to English in many different contexts.

If you only watch news programs in English, then you will be able to understand a more “formal” style of English, but not a typical conversation between two native speakers, which is often filled with idioms and slang.

On the other hand, if you only watch movies and listen to songs in English, then you might not be able to understand (or write) a more academic article. And if you only use English for work, then it will be hard to talk about other topics because you won’t have the vocabulary.

So make sure to diversify your English input:

fiction and non-fiction
formal and informal
lectures and conversations
serious subjects and comedy
etc.

6) Learn to think in English.

This is one of the biggest keys to English fluency – but how can you learn it?

There’s a step-by-step process you can follow:

First, beginning to think with individual English words
Then progressing to thinking in English sentences
Finally imagining entire conversations and stories in your head in English
(Read this lesson for a more detailed explanation with examples).

This is one of the best ways to practice English, because if you make a “mistake,” nobody knows about it!

Also, you can practice thinking in English anytime, anywhere. No need for a textbook or classroom. The earlier you begin the habit of thinking in English, the easier it will be to speak fast.

7) Say things with different words – be creative!

Two big obstacles to English fluency are lack of vocabulary and pauses / hesitations. This usually happens because you have an idea, but you can’t express it in English. It can be really frustrating. However, if you don’t know a particular word, try to think of alternative ways to express your idea.

Here’s an example: in a conversation about cooking, my student didn’t know the word “onion,” so instead he said, “the white vegetable that when you cut it you cry” – it was a perfect description, and I understood exactly what he wanted to say!

This is also important for English sentences. Sometimes you want to say something a certain way because you are translating directly from your native language, but you don’t know how to construct the phrase in English.

Of course, learning to think directly in English will help you avoid this problem – but also try to be open-minded and flexible in thinking of different ways to say the same message.

Native English speakers also have many ways to say the same thing – just look at this list of different ways to say “hello” and “goodbye” in English.

8) Practice talking to yourself.

This is REALLY an excellent way to develop your fluency and build your confidence. There is no pressure to be perfect, and nobody else will hear your mistakes.

For speaking ideas, go to this website and choose a topic. Imagine somebody is asking you the question. Then practice answering it by talking to yourself out loud.

Yes… it feels a little bit silly. But you can do it alone where no one will hear you, and it’s a great step to putting your English into practice.

9) Don’t think too much about grammar, and don’t worry about mistakes.

One of the biggest “mental blocks” for English learners is being nervous or afraid to make a mistake – or embarrassed if they don’t speak perfectly. But remember: Communication is MUCH more important than perfection!

Here’s an example:

Imagine someone says, “Yesterday I go to party in beach.”
This sentence is incorrect; it should be:
“Yesterday I went to a party on the beach.”
However, even with the errors, it still communicates the message SUCCESSFULLY!

Of course with time you will want to correct your mistakes, but for everyday speaking in general, RELAX and remember that mistakes are not fatal; the important thing is to communicate.

10) Don’t give up… never stop learning!

I’ve had a lot of students who study for a few years, then stop… then start again, then stop for a long time, then re-start… maybe you have done this, too.

The problem is that you often lose the progress you made before, and then becoming fluent takes much, much longer.

But the good news is that you don’t need to be a genius to become fluent in English – you just need to have dedication and practice consistently.

If you do this, you WILL reach your goal of English fluency.

Fake 1996