Peanut butter sandwich day at our school! Yaaaaay

Thanks for the videos recorded by Eduarda, and thanks to the other Eduarda who tried out my peanut butter and ...oops sandwich!

My Medications, Bipolar, and Spirituality

I don't know why I never took some time to write about this topic which has been present in my life since hubby was diagnosed with diabetes. It has been 7 years or longer. But I am not here to talk about his condition or his meds. Since I quit drinking, I've been taking psychiatric pills. It has been 5 years. I am racking my brain to remember all their names but here they are: Diazepam, Lexapro, Paxil, Depakote, Queropax, Quetiapina, Zoloft, and maybe others that I could not recall.

When I was little, I grew up seeing my parents taking those prescribed pills. I never questioned why they needed to take those. It never occurred to me that they would have a psychological disorder of some sort to be taking that medication. I pretty much believed that those were mere "sleeping pills" and that is probably what they believed too. Lack of sleep has been an important issue in my family.

My parents never woke us up to do anything else but going to school. Even if we had a road trip to drive off and the time mattered, I remember my parents saying: "Let the kids sleep,,, we can always hit the road later." That allowed me explore my dreams and night terrors as well. I used to be able to control my dreams, recall them in details, and I'd often register them in journals. I din't really know what it is to be up early on Sundays. I was never up in the mornings on no-school days.  Not falling asleep and never remembering the dreams became issues to me only later in life, in my adulthood; in my mid thirties.

We heir both the good genes and the bad ones from our parents. I inherited the teaching language genes and neurotic ones as well. I am bipolar and I learned about it after I had dropped out of my third colleg - psychology major. I have read some many books about bipolarity. Never would I guess I was reading about my own disorder. I studied about it. It had tests and papers on the subject. I did therapy for 3 years and a half. I saw two psychiatrists. Even though, it took me too long to realize that I had manias and depression episodes constantly, right at my face, and nothing ever rang the bell.

It was a year ago when I asked my doctor about my condition being bipolarity and she confirmed it. You see, those kinds of doctors avoid telling you what your problem is, especially right away, because there are wide possibilities on how our brains function. Furthermore, as it is somethig based on description of symptoms; and these symptoms aren't usually physical, easy to capture from x-rays like an injury, or right from our eyes like bruises. Let alone, psychiatrists cannot even prescribe the exact meds you need. They are always trying out new things and adjusting miligrams, and when it is best to take them, so that we can function. It is literally playing with our minds.

I have been now taking two medications. I take Quetiopatine before going to bed and Zoloft in the morning. I also took Depakote for three months to help me deal with people. I had a long terrible episode of depression this year. I had to be away from my work for several weeks in order to recover, however I got worse because my job turned upside-down. I became a mess. I was not able to clean or organize my stuff. I thought about suicide every day. Then I changed my staff and my attitude towards my mental problems. I decided to accept these issues as spiritual battles rather than psychological matters.

It was the turning point of the year: when hubby and I embraced spirituality. It is almost the end of September, it is almost spring in Brazil, therefore my nose gets runny every morning due to polen. I am sneezing non-stoppingly but I am in bed with my cats blogging about my meds. I am boosting my energy with a large cup of black coffee and a tall can of Lo-Carb Monster energy drink. Besides, today is a local holiday, so it is a Saturday that I am not working (woo-hoo).  I am about to pop a half of Zoloft now... Just did <|:0)

When I was little, I'd look at my parents' pills and think: "I am so glad I don't need these meds to help me sleep." Now I say: "I am so GLAD that these pills exist so that I can sleep and function properly the next day." It is better than depending on alcohol which is what people rely on to cope with their own demons. The worse is having alcoholics judging you for choosing the meds treatment. You see, what we do is called: TREATMENT. We treat diseases. We must not disguise them.

Avoid masking your problems!  Instead, embrace the good and the evil in you because this is the only way you can set yourself free.

Get to know me

What makes me think I'm special?
I am over thirty and still can crack up about it.
I am beyond bounderies within me
I am able to chew gum and yet I get words out right
I am powerful and I can prove it
I can be whoever I want to in my night and daydreams
I can meet whoever I want to as well
I am not sophisticated though
Sophistication kills any type of magic
I delete anger and do not hold grudges
I would pull the trigger but I am not so sure I'd hit the bull's eye
I am such a complicated earthling that not even I restrain me
I can spit or swallow as long as it won't poison me
I am aware of my potential of editing and putting together only the worthwhile of this life
I am an euphemism for dissection
I am barbaric in the bathroom
I gulp vodka as if it were water
I fold clothes like monkeys and humanize like any mammal could do
I copy creatively. I cry non-...
I am not a weirdo - "Believe me" - I just suffer from overcast delusions
I am pretty normal if you really get to know me inside out.

by Laila Chris

Antecipating CAVALERA CONSPIRACY concert tonight in Porto Alegre ;)

Finally I moved the vanity to my bedroom. It feels great to know that I'll have better light to apply my make-up on :)

Primeiro Post em Português... Um dia isso iria acontecer kkkkk Qual o assunto? O meu trabalho, of course

"Você não tem como me assustar! Eu sou uma professora de ESL."

Hoje decidi escrever aqui em minha língua materna. Escrever em português é algo raro, e uma tarefa quase que torturante para mim. Devo me explicar: sou filha de professores de inglês, quando bebê aprendi palavras em inglês antes do português e cresci numa escola de idiomas. Fiz faculdade de Jornalismo no Brasil, e de Produção de Texto Literário nos EUA. Sim, escrever na minha própria língua é um exercício de muita paciência.

Em 1998 me mudei para os EUA regressando no fim de 2002, quando meu marido e eu decidimos instalar nossa própria escola. Eu posso dizer que leciono inglês desde os 14 anos, quando precisei substituir meu pai por ele ter se acidentado numa partida "amistosa" de futebol entre professores e alunos (acho que o aluno que chutou o joelho de papai, inconscientemente se vingava por alguma nota ruim que recebera na disciplina inglês kkkkkk). Piadas à parte, somo 24 anos de carreira como professora e 12 como coordenadora pedagógica de minha escola de línguas. 

Nesse tempo, venho observado uma constante: pais ( e quase nunca o aluno) que ficam desapontados com a escola quando há o revesamento de professores. Eu geralmente escuto ou leio comentários de pais de alunos crianças/adolescentes do tipo: "vou tirar meu filho da sua escola, pois vocês trocam professores", como se isso fosse algum fator negativo sobre a instituição. Daí me indago: a professora que me alfabetizou na 1a. série não foi a mesma da 2a. Ou há os casos em que temos professores de História nas 5a. e 6a. séries que são especializados em História do Brasil, e quando chegamos na 7a. e 8a. iremos ter aula com outro professor que domina História antiga ou a História da formação da Europa, por exemplo. 

Outro pensamento: eu já fiz 3 cursos de ESL (Inglês como Língua Estrangeira), e dois deles eu realmente fui ensinada por apenas 1 único professor - em Dublin tive aulas com Mr. Stephen e no parque da Disney tive aula com Shelli, mas na escola chamada Tomlinson localizada em Saint Petersburg (Tampa Bay, FL) eu tinha um professor diferente a cada hora de aula. Eu tinha um professor para cada conhecimento específico tais como: de redação, de pronúncia, de leitura, de conversação, e até de preparatório para Teste de Proficiência, o que me torna qualificada a preparar aluno para exames TOEFL e TOEIC. Estudei inglês no Brasil também. 

Fui aluna do meu pai, e também fui aluna de uns tantos outros professores. Lembro-me de cada um e aprendi muito com todos eles. Temos em nossa escola um staff excelente formado de professores que estudaram inglês em Israel, Londres, EUA, Australia, até aqueles que aprenderam a se tornar fluentes sem nunca terem saído do Brasil; esses inclusive são ex-alunos meus que, pela dedicação e brilhante desempenho, foram convidados a trabalhar conosco logo depois de formados. Temos orgulho dos nossos professores pois eles possuem especialidades diversas e possuem históricos que variam num tanto, que é mais do que positivo permitir que os alunos tenham contato com todos eles. 

A técnica freqüente (com trema mesmo) de revesar professores é engrandecedor e comum em qualquer instituição, seja ela de idiomas ou de ensino regular. Digo mais, é algo vital. O aluno precisa experiençar novos sotaques, ouvir novas estórias, aprender com as diferentes especializações dos professores e participar de dinâmicas diversificadas em sala de aula. É uma oportunidade única e riquíssima. 

Preciso realmente entender o que as pessoas querem dizer com: "vou tirar meu filho da sua escola, pois vocês trocam professores", já que ao transferir o seu filho para outra escola, obviamente aquele aluno vai acabar tendo aula com outro professor. Ou seja, não estariam trocando "6 por meia dúzia"? Isso é apenas uma das coisas que não entendo em Brasileiros desinformados que querem se meter no trabalho alheio. Pff.

More bits of my home:

Lorde - Team

Purple hair...purple hair!

Bought a purple bonnet to match my hair!

Beitrag von José Roberto Batista.

Source: http://nabbycat.blogspot.com.br/

Parenting

No one would be likely to argue that parenting is stressful and very hard work. Parents teach by example. Teachers see this regularly in the ways children choose to handle interpersonal issues. Children who bully are taught bullying by parents. Children who become victims see their parents being helpless when dealing with challenging situations.

It is unfortunate that today many families leave the teaching of social skills to the public schools. The job of teachers is to teach children how to learn, rather than how to treat others. Personally, I feel a lot of frustration when I hear parents say "Yes, he told the teacher and the teacher didn't do anything." Here is the truth: because the child did not understand that the teacher handled the issue discreetly. Frequently the teacher talks to the "bully" privately, or passes the information to the principal or school counselor. A teacher has no authority to suspend a student on another student's say-so. A teacher has no authority to use corporal punishment (most states have laws against corporal punishment.).

People who parent using corporal punishment or explosive behavior, are only teaching their children that the biggest person gets his way. I wish more parents would just think about the example they set for their children.

Personally, I was raised in a violent, explosive home. When I became a parent, that was my parenting style. One day I learned that I was using a learned behavior, and I could choose to behave differently. I began to practice a gentler approach to discipline. I never achieved perfection, but I keep practicing. Children are small and helpless and look to the adults in their lives for security and self-esteem.

Leaving for work...

Tonight's Program...

My zodiac reading for August 25th

A turning point: this can be and usually is a very positive time. But you can make more or less out of it, depending upon how you handle it. In most ways it represents a period of culmination in your life, and you will be tempted to expand beyond any reasonable limit. There is no question that you have a good chance for success in any one of a number of endeavors at this time and, within reason, you should pursue them. However, you should not restrict yourself solely to material and physical growth now. Even if you don't have all the material goods that you want, you should turn your attention to spiritual and inner needs. Ultimately, nothing satisfies like satisfaction. Objects that you acquire, possessions, money, and even social prestige are merely devices to make you feel that you have satisfaction. They are not the state of satisfaction itself. It is your inner difficulties that make your life less than it could be, even if you have corresponding problems in the material world. You must look for the solutions within yourself, and this time represents a turning point, where you should begin to look for the answers. Under this influence, the tendency is to go after everything that you want in the material world without caring especially about whoever is in your way, to gather as much stuff as you can and indulge yourself in what you want. Then, as the influence subsides, you may feel that this effort has failed, leaving your life as empty as it was before. Do not be arrogant toward others or assume that you have everything right. Through meaningful encounters with others, especially intimate one-to-one encounters, you can find out which way you should go at this time. Work with another person and think in terms of mutual growth. By trying to achieve goals set by both of you and by trying to be a twosome, you each will become more conscious of what you are as an individual. If you can recognize the real meaning of this influence in terms of your own life, this can be an extremely productive and growth-oriented time, a period that will always have meaning for you.

Hooray to Potato Chips

Post by Laila Chris Batista.

Sunday blogging

Life in the heart of 

Life in deserts was sandy, 

Life in caves was lonely, 

Life in ocean was salty, 

Life in stars was resplendent, 

Life in car was modern, 

Life in mountains was exhilarating,

Life in Sun was brilliant, 

Life in forests was mystical, 

Life in shadows was enigmatic, 

Life in battlefield was belligerent,  

Life in pearls was exotic, 

 Life in office was monotonous, 

 Life in sky was breezy, 

 Life in submarine was voluptuous, 

 Life in trees was mischievous, 

 Life in roses was fragrant,

 Life in grass was intoxicating, 

 Life in webs was silken,

 Life in paradise was divine, 

 Life in temples was sacrosanct,

 Life in gutter was abhorrent,

 Life in dirt was deplorable, 

 Life in rain was seductive, 

 Life in beehives was vivacious, 

 Life in wine was sensuous, 

 Life in computers was brazen, 

 Life in nests was sequestering, 

 Life in statues was stationary, 

 Life in icebergs was freezing, 

 Life in anthills was irascible, 

 Life in lakes was placid, 

 Life in locks was invincible, 

 Life in photographs was still, 

 Life in gardens was pleasant, 

 Life in mousetrap was asphyxiating, 

 Life in fists was curled, 

 Life in prison was disdainful, 

 Life in whirlpool was spinning, 

 Life in theater was dramatic, 

 Life in art was enchanting, 

 Life in boats was undulating,

 Life in diamonds was glittering, 

 Life in moon was milky,

 Life in kitchen was appetizing, 

 Life in beauty was ravishing, 

 Life in titillation was enticing, 

 Life in fantasy was stupendous, 

 Life in motherslap was blissful, 

 Life in medicine was healing, 

 Life in corpse was standstill, 

 Life in lavatory was pathetic, 

 Life in seedlings was blossoming, 

 Life in horseback was gallivanting, 

 Life in snakeskin was slithering, 

 Life in oven was sizzling, 

 Life in greenery was sedative, 

 Life in rebellion was evoking, 

 Life in discrimination was appalling, 

 Life in benevolence was gratifying, 

 Life in humanity was God, 

 Life in cheese was tangy, 

 Life in achievement was exultating, 

 Life in ambition was propelling, 

 Life in eyelashes was flirtatious, 

 Life in palms was dependant, 

 Life in fashion was bombastic, 

 Life in recluse was esoteric, 

 Life in keyhole was inconspicuous, 

 Life in kites was exuberant, 

 Life in glass was reflecting, 

 Life in tea was rejuvenating, 

 Life in sheep was impeccable, 

 Life in rocks was jagged, 

 Life in chains was abominable, 

Life in feathers was tickling, 

 Life in egotism was preposterous, 

 Life in dawn was brand-new, 

 Life in dewdrops was mesmerizing, 

 Life in intrigue was electrifying, 

 Life in eloquence was mystifying, 

 Life in clock was pragmatic, 

 Life in childhood was nostalgic, 

 Life in robots was mechanical, 

 Life in fabric was shielding, 

 Life in soul was stupefying, 

 Life in roots was entangling, 

 Life in chains was hedonistic, 

 Life in bareness was lascivious, 

 Life in haziness was romantic, 

 Life in knives was lethal, 

 Life in chili was piquant,

 Life in swings was fascinating, 

 Life in lechery was insane, 

 Life in rhythm was celestial, 

 Life in pulse was frantic,

 Life in lies was cowardice, 

 Life in superstitions was non-existent, 

 Life in revenge was pugnacious, 

 But life in the heart of your beloved; 

WAS; IS; AND WILL ALWAYS BE LOVE; 

LOVE AND ONLY LOVE 

 by Nikhil Parekh

FB

Post by Laila Chris Batista.

"Change

We are all changing all the time. We don’t actually have the option. Most of the time we aren't aware of it or we avoid changing. People fear change. This is understandable because sometimes change means losing a sense of comfort. It might mean more work. It might mean losing sight of who you are. It could also be the opposite of all these things.

Right now I’m feeling really good about the idea of a drastic change inside of me. I’m gaining a new outlook on myself as well as everyone and everything out there. I’m excited to hit the ground running in a million different ways and see what I might discover. Sure, it’s still scary but sometimes when you realize your life isn’t going the way you planned, it’s best to change direction. Take a road you didn't even see on the map before. I’m screaming this out to the UNIVERSE!

Give me whatever you've got to show me. I’m ready to learn and I’m ready to change the way I think. I’m changing the channel from reality television and I’m listening to the static white noise. The white noise has more to offer if I listen to it carefully. I've been somewhat successful in making positive changes for myself but maybe it’s time to implement a lot at once. It’s time for a big shift. Perhaps the planets have aligned in my benefit or maybe it’s just that my head is clear for once. Get off the mule and saddle up on a jaguar!"

Source: http://knightramblings.blogspot.com.br/

Not my text, but it fits to my moment.

"It's been two weeks that I don't have a good night rest and i'm thinking this PMS thing is hitting me harder than ever or is it that my existential crisis has at last blown over? so while i lay here letting my thoughts run wild inside my head i wonder what it'll take to find that peace of mind. I'm weary and tired of trying to please everyone, preventing pain as much as i can.

Some people really interfere with my inner peace. Lately, I'm having a hard time controlling my patience with individuals who seek to pull me away from this sanctuary of peace and love that i have adjusted myself to living. This idea i have about compassion and civilness and kindness and empathy at its purest form. I live in this happy little state were very few things perturb me for more than the 20 seconds it takes me to breath in, out, and release.

It's not so much their actions, its this idea that they play with in their heads with any phrase, word, or sound that might make a connection with this false perception. so yes dear, it is a false perception.

Let me get this out of my system, so that i may fall asleep and wake up feeling renewed and bathed in a green/golden light. for 2 minutes i will let my inner bratness come out, so that i may put her away and be done with it once and for all..... here goes nothing:

please, please, pleaseeee go away and i mean that with all the kindness of my heart, its really just embarrassing. It is incredibly annoying to have to deal with pathetic acts for attention.  I mean seriously change the page, close the book, read another story. i mean Jesus F-ing christ (sorry jesus) i'm already out of college AND graduate school; i shouldnt have to deal with this shit.

Be graceful, Be peaceful, Compassion, Kindness, Respect, whateverrrr but i exhort or i welcome anyone to try one of these qualities they are really good for the soul.


uuffff.... well that was 2 minutes, i think i didnt get it all out but thats more than enough.


Someone once told me meditation is good for the soul and i thought meditation=sleep. Then one day overwhelmed by the world i closed my eyes and built a brigde that crossed into a peaceful rainforest. it is my safe haven, whatever my troubles i can close my eyes, cross that brigde, go into the water and become water.

be water."

by Shei Shei
http://sheishei.blogspot.com.br/