Friday, March 26, 2010

Ten truths about myself

It's about time for you all - fellow bloggers, students, friendly readers - to know some truths about me... Embrace yourself and don't ever tell me that I have never warned you about these things.

1. If I stay more than 32 hours with empty stomach, I'll faint. I've also had this peculiar habit of shutting my eyes really tight every time I sneeze. My husband thinks this is kinda cute, though.

2. I've been trained by skillful disciples of an Indian guru called Paramahansa Yogananda to obtain the power of resurrecting living creatures. Since I'm in my early studies, so far, my power has only worked on recovering lizards' tails.

3. Some of the products that I can't live without are: adult diapers, dandruff shampoos, sleeping pills, holy water, concealer, and self-help books.

4. If I touch hot boiling water or heat up iron, I get burnt skin and blisters come out after that. And this is hard to say... but... my farts and belches aren't fragrant.

5. Some of the things you'll find in my bedroom are a butterfly knife, lithium, rat poison, pepper spray, a pile of old "O" magazines, and a box with all Mariah Carrey's best singles - anything for self-defense and protection.

6. Had I been born in Malaysia, I would have been born a toothless illiterate bald baby.

7. Some cars aren't made for me. They have got three pedals and I was born with only two legs.

8. Satan has found a way to control my technology devices. Many times while typing unsaved posts for blogs, e-mails for supplier, or working on translations, these texts manage to completely disappear from the computer system. And that normally happens after a computer screen window is closed. Where do these files go? Ask Satan. I almost forgot to mention some weird schemes that lie beneath some commands such as control-V, control-C, control-Z, control-N, and control-A. These are all devilish tools. I must exorcise this machine.

9. I don't want to shock any of you guys but I can't stand roaches so I do kill them in coldbloodedness when they come across.

10. Finally, I am very much ashamed of this, but... I have decided to let out some of my truths, so here it is: I have no power to control my heart beats. This is doggone true. Besides, I've got no eating disorders either. I've got no phobias, mental disturbance, or traumas. I'm free from depression or any sort of stress. Actually, I am not quite sure if I'm alive.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Can't stop changing the template

This background photo has given the impression that THE PAWNSHOP should have its name changed to THE BATHROOM. I kinda like the tittle THE BATHROOM because I do use this spot to release some of my most rotten internal contents here. There is a possibility that I might do the change. Nah! Charles Chaplin movie called THE PAWNSHOP is and will always be my primary inspiration. Long live Charlie's flicks. =^.^=

Saturday, March 20, 2010

LatestSSS on my PERSONA!

The latestSSS things I've figured about myself while having a conversation or just while trying to be ME:

-I've found out I am an insufferable braggart when it comes to my school matters.
-I am NOT a blunt person.
-I criticize people.
-I am a little lot sarcastic.
-I ask a lot of questions in a conversation, to find out about people, their thoughts, etc.
-I rarely admit I am wrong about something when I am in a conversation.
-I make eye-contact and use body language in conversations.
-I generalize.
-I get personal with people in conversations; I may even gossip about a mutual friend.
-I compliment people spontaneously.
-I like to talk about myself. I am not a good listener. In short, I pretty much suck.
-I usually talk about personal problems, people, their way of being, hopes, desires, my family...
-I easily tend to get emotional when I write a letter to someone, but it is more complicated for me in a face-to-face conversation. In the end, I am an emotional person. That is just me.
-I help to keep a conversation flowing, however I am many times provocative, controversial, confrontational... That is my style.
-I like to get my say, get in a few comments, no matter what the topic is.
-I don't assert something, but I might preface a comment with "I think, I suppose, perhaps and even copy and paste other people's comments without their authorization"
-I talk a lot... No. I talk way too much.
-If I ask a question, it is generally a yes-no answer I am looking for
-I don't mind talking about a situation where I was embarrassed, humiliated and so on.
-I am never clear and that pisses my husband off a greaaaat deal.
-I am gonna die some day.

PS: This is a partial re-posting... Oh well... This is my spot, isn't it? I can do here whatever I want. I guess. =^.^=

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I finally wrote something here...

There are so many things to write here that I don't even know how to begin with. I have been getting disappointed by the human race once again and that won't ever stop. I am not going to go bananas this time, maybe because I've been seeing a therapist or maybe because I am getting stronger and stronger each day. I feel sorry for the kids who are born in screwed up families. That's why I don't feel like having kids because I don't want to give to the Earth one more kid who comes from another screwed up family.

I started taking oil painting lessons and that is being a blast. I am not taking the type of course I want and I am not learning much from it, but at least, it is getting me disciplined to finish up my very first canvas and that is already a victory to me. I also restarted going to the gym. Guess what? This time I am being assisted by a personal trainer. Gee! A personal trainer? I know that this sounds pretty weird but that was way necessary to keep me attached to a program of workout in which I might lose some weight and even get fit someday. I was going to start SPINNING classes too, but the schedule didn't help much.

The new cleaning lady is not being as good as the one I used to have and that is a bummer. The old one decided to get pregnant as my old school secretary did, as other three students too. And if I don't take care of myself, I might get pregnant too. I won't. I wish I wouldn't. I love kids but I am not ready at all to be a mom. Roberto is not the type of dad I would wish for any kid coz he's got some issues that need to be worked on. I am so sure he's got the mood swings of a bipolar person and he also has some anger to manage. I am not perfect either. I know that. That's why we all need to seek professional help.

Changing the subject, I am so going to Canada in July. I want to travel abroad again and at this time I am leaving alone. I need a real moment to myself. I want to study hard and meet new people. I want to exchange ideas with other ESL teachers and international students. I will grow and improve my methods. I am so excited about this trip that I hope it does work out. Tomorrow, I'll have a phone meeting with one of the responsibles for this exchange program. I am sorta afraid of having to listen that it is not going to work out but it must work out. It sure will.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Reposting from Dec. 2005



I received through e-mail, for the second time, a personal questionnaire from Marcele. "Marcele, I just now realized that I wrote your name incorrectly in that post I'd dedicated to you." The idea is to reply the email by listing our own personal answers. Some of my responses may shock you, Marcele. But y'know, it's been a long time we don't meet so many things have changed in me. You'll get over this. We always get used to new things... hihihi

1. What is your full name? Laila Christina de Bragança Cavallera Onasis von Murdoc.

2. What color pants are you wearing? Light brown, it's made of jeans and stretch. I love the pockets of these pants.

3. What are you listening to right now? German Beer drinking songs - Ja, ja, ja das ist wahr!!!It's a CD that a student of mine bought at an Oktober Fest!

4. What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate barr.

5. Do you wish on stars? Nah!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red. Love red. It's not my faaaaaavorite color, but it coats well.

7. How is the weather right now? Damp, a little cold, and foggy - not a typical day at this time of the year.

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? To the mother of a student.

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Marcele has sent me this me-me-me list of questions. I've posted here, just scroll down this page (don't scroll THIS PAGE down because this a re-posting thing), you'll find a text that simply says it all about this lady. What else can I say? I simply love her!

10. Favorite drink? "Red" wine.

11. Favorite sport to play? Sumo Wrestling. I nail it.

12. Hair color? Dark Brown.

13. Weight and height? 1m 63cm, 60 kilograms. Well, I am 5 years older hence way fatter now. I swear, I will start working out.

14. Siblings? Jennifer, 25 and Fernanda, 22. Let us update those ages, Jenni is 30 and Fer is 27. Yeah, this was posted 5 years ago.

15. Favorite month? January - it's my birthday month and the birthday month of many people I love and care.

16. Favorite food? SALMON - raw, grilled, broilled, fried, roasted... SIMPLY SO GOOOOOD

17. What was the last movie you saw? Donnie Darko - for the fifth time!

18. Favorite day of the year? October 31st - Halloween!

19. What do you do to vent anger? I cry/ I write/ I draw/ I cook/I study/ I email friends/I clean/I mess/I blog/

20. What was your favorite toy as a child? An old red Remington Typewriter.

21. Summer or winter? WINTER

22. Hugs or kisses? Both.

24. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Wth? I'm posting my answers in my blog... HIHIHIHI

25. Who is most likely to respond? No one, since I am not sending the answers to anyone. I've done it before - about a year ago in fact.

26. Who is least likely to respond? I have no clue (I'll keep Marcele's answer).

27. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. I cried but right then I was kissed and comforted.

29. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Lu, or Luciana. I´ve known her since we didn't know what alcohol was.

30. What did you do last night? I watched a movie, had beer, and pizza.

31. What are you afraid of? Raising a monster as my kid.

32. Describe yourself in one word? FREAKINESS.

33. Favorite car? I ain't a good driver. Hate drivers in general. I don't pretty much care about cars.

34. What´s the thing you like doing the most in your life? Writing, teaching, cursing, studying, learning, scratching my ear canals with cotton swabs, reading, listening to others, eating, drinking, melting stuff, having the jitters from a creepy good psycho-thriller movie, and talking to the ones I care.

35. Favorite flower? I hate the sun, but I love Sunflowers.

36. Who do you admire? So many folks: J. M. GONÇALVES; FERNANDO PESSOA; GARCIA LORCA; LUIZA VALENZUELA; MAIAKOVYSKI; TOLSTOY; UMBERTO ECO; FRIDA KAHLO; FAULKNER; EDGAR A. POE; CHARLES SPENCER CHAPLIN; CLARICE LISPECTOR; ALLIGHIERI; FREUD; EDNA PURVIANCE; MARIO PRATA; HILLARY SWANK, ISAAC EPSTEIN; DAVID BOWIE; ALAIN TOURAINE; KUBRICK; NIETZCHE; JUDY DENCH; POLANSKI; BOB BURNQUIST; HEMINGWAY; BEAUVOIR; SHAKESPEARE; JOHN CLEESE; CHARLES SANDERS PIERCE; BARTHES; SAUSSURE; CARLOS DRUMMOND; SUSAN SONTAG; MARLON BRANDON; SAMUEL BECKETT; OSCAR WILDE; FRITZ LANG; NOAM CHOMSKY; GOYA; MUNCH; MIRO; BURROUGHS; MARIO BORTOLOTTO; MAGRITTE; KANDINSKY; NERUDA; POLLACK; DALI; CHICO SCIENCE and the guys from NAÇÃO ZUMBI... and some others that I could not remember to name here.

37. Type of job? ESL teacher, writer, and translator.

38. Favorite day of the week? Mondays.

39. What did you do for your last birthday? I went to a nice restaurant with Roberto (my hubby).

40. How many states have you lived in? 1 in the US and 3 in Brazil.

41. How many cities have you lived in? 1 in the US and 4 in Brazil.

42. What do you collect? Pens. I have thousand of those: scented, glittered, colored, classical, kids-like, ballpointed... all kinds.

43. Favorite kind of music? Polka, Nordic Folk music, and Celtic.

44. If you could be someone else rather than yourself, who would you be? I'd be a male version of me... I'd be called Lailo and I wouldn't have pms... GREAT!

45. How many languages do you speak? Portuguese, English & Spanish. I've studied German for 5 years now and I also took two semesters of French back in college, but with not much headway. Ah, I also took Chinese for one year.

46. What was your coolest trip ever? To New York City.

46. Most beautiful city: São Paulo, all the way.

47. Sexual symbol: Benício Del Toro and Christian Bale (spelling?).

48. Where will you spend your next vacations? Vacations... What is that? Can anyone gimme the definition of this word???

49. What are the places you´d like to visit one day? Morocco (Marrakesh), Mexico (Montrrey), the Amazon (Manaus), and Thailand (the entire country).

50. Describe the person who sent you this: Marcele is an angel to me. She's a totally free-spirit. She's a one-of-a-kind young lady. Marcele's smart, sweet, friendly, a complete human being! I simply love her and the fact that she's my greatest friend of all times! She's the one in the photo down below.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

If you haven't read this about me... maybe this is the right time to do it!


About Me

I’ve already stolen books from libraries
I would ring the bell of strangers’ homes and walk away rapidly…

I’ve already wanted to poison the neighbors’ pets
I’ve already run over a stray cat back in my hometown

I whisper bad words to people in many different languages all the time
I almost poked my sister’s right eye once

I showed my middle finger to a religion teacher when I was just 6
I scratched deliberately a Fritz Dobbert piano when I was 9
I’d smoke cigarette butts from the floor when I was 11
I used to fake out my mother’s signature on my school detentions

I hadn’t known how to fry eggs short time before I decided to live alone
I invited people whom I didn’t know into my apartment
Later on, many of them used to hang out there
Some of them became good friends

I’ve already canceled many doctor’s and dentist’s appointments


I hate doing the dishes and usually place wet towels in bed

I’ve never voted for president or governor

I was raised listening to both languages at home: Portuguese and English

Luckily, I never liked MENUDOS
Although I’ve already bought a "New Kids on the Block" album and I have already wanted to marry Joe McIntyre.

I’ve visited a few countries in North and South America and have never been to Europe ( I have now - Lovely place btw)
I’ve fished in the Atlantic and have never wet my feet into the cold Pacific
I’ve always feared driving even way before I had a car accident.
I’ve already danced lambada and have already been to a punk rock concert…


…Well, I still listen to punk rock, however this isn’t my cup of tea
Lambada is in the past, THANK GOD!

I do avoid driving as much as I can
I am a great cook now – Lebanese dishes are my specialty
I’ve been happily married to a non-famous person since 98

I teach English for a living, think that I am able to communicate in Spanish and study German and French for fun

I don’t smoke yet I quite enjoy drinking
I don’t play the piano anymore even though I could be back to having lessons

Politics isn’t my favorite topic of conversations

I am a teacher and hate when kids disrespect me

My sister doesn’t talk to me very often and I wonder why
I haven’t gone to a doctor for years…
I can’t invite strangers to my apartment but they certainly enter my list of ORKUT friends

My kitchen is usually the dirtiest place in the house

I don’t feel like having pets because I don’t appreciate the fact they may not live long (It is amazing how we can change throughout the years. I've got two PETS now: Tibby and Pancho, my both cats)
Hate answering the door, the bell, cell phones, and E-mails (This hasn't changed!)

I simply can’t steal or fake out signatures any longer for I fear The idea of being arrested – never been – never will
Some say “Never say ‘never’”
But I say what I WILL NEVER DO.

Interesting facts - Some things have changed since I wrote this post... I have already voted and I have already been to Europe. Do not consider the thing about NOT having pets coz that is now not true anymore. Now I have got a pet and my cat has brought me more joy (In reality, I have got TWO CATS NOW, (one more to the family), but only one of them has been giving me joy. KIDDING!!! I love them both equally.

BTW: PUNK ROCK IS SO MY CUP OF TEA. MY FAVE BANDS ARE "DEAD KENNEDYS, THE BUZZCOCKS, TELEVISION, VELVET UNDERGROUND, STOOGES, GENERATION X, SUICIDE, THE CLASH, THE DELINQUENTS, SEX PISTOLS, TOY DOLLS, RANCID, AND RAMONES, OF COURSE."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

My Five Weird Habits

I was tagged by Lori and Angeline to write about 5 weird habits I have. Unlike Krissy, I'm not all perfect (loved that comment) so I should confess that I've got more... many more than only 5 weird manias. I'm the human form of weirdness. Everything in me is strange as far as I'm concerned. Take my own blog for instance, its template, photos, its title, my profile, my posts... I write in a language that isn't my mother tongue for crying out loud. These are signs that I am not... let's say... so common.

There are other evidences too. I am weird because even my name is weird. My first name has an Islamic origin, my second one means "Christian" and I've come to believe I have Jewish blood. Just weird. I'm also a total relaxed person and that is very weird for a teacher who lives in the 2000's. I'm so chilled and spaced out that I often forget to breath. I know that forgetting to breath is one of the symptoms of stress but you have got to believe me, in my case, it is fully incapacity to stress over nothing, not even to breath in. I'm strange because I've never seen movies that no one believes I haven't: "E.T.", none of all three "Lord of the Rings", "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (none of both versions), none of those modern Disney or Pixar animations -- some of my students get even mad at me because of that. Well, at least I have seen "Shrek 1" and I hated it - it is getting worse. I know it.

However, I am here to talk about my 5 weirdest habits. 5? Cinq, Fünf, Hamsa, Go, Chamesch, Fem, Five, Cinco... Only 5? This is really tough, Lori and Angeline, but I am gonna get to the bottom of this. Ok, so here they are:

I. I talk to myself. In other words, "call a doctor". Yeah. I speak alone. I've thought of this habit just being an "aloud thinking process" but the truth is that I do speak to myself. I inquire, I wonder, I reply, and I even get to disagree with my own points (of course, I'm a woman!). I mostly do this in bathrooms. I need to be completely secluded for that so people don't see me as a freak, which I am, but no one needs to notice it.

II. I enjoy, love, lust removing labels of all products I see: shampoo bottles, detergents, parfums, deodorants, beer bottles, even vitamins and food suplements. The plastic labels are my favorite because they were made to be taken off. It's a fact. It is so good to unstick them gently and slowly. I just can't stand products that actually come with their labels painted or printed directly on the bottles. I avoid buying them because they are so not fun.

III. I'm fascinated by cats as most of you already know. So, I decided to get my own last year. Tibby arrived home last March and since then, she has given me brighter days (oh!). I love her so much that I can stare at her for hours while she sleeps. You all may be asking yourselves: "what's the matter there?" I'll answer. The weirdest thing is that I stare at her singing songs that I write for her. The lyrics are mostly about her, of course, like this one:


Tibby is my cat/
Tibby is my everything/
Tibby is anything she wants to be/
She is a smile/
She's an angel/
She is the perfect version of me/
La! La! La!
All right, all right... I know I am not a good song writer, but Tibby is still a kitty, she's not even a year old cat, so those songs are supposed to sound just like they were made for kids. Yeah, maybe it's about time for me to have babies.

IV. Another weird habit I've got is to overuse the Google search tool on the internet. It's probable that many people rely on it since it is seriously handy. However, I don't only use it for my everyday researches but also I have a blast by seeking odd materials and pictures so I type total out-of-the-blue subjects such as:

•Axe Murderers in Cincinnatti;
•Melanomas in Pigmies;
•Natural Disasty Awards 2005;
•How Come Barbie Dolls Have no Nipples;
•Life after Zoloft;
•Dr. Phil is Stupid;
•Reproductive Organs of Penguins;
•and several others...
And the best hits, I save them in weird folders under My Favorites titled: Criminology, Out-of-the-Body Experiences, The History of Exorcism , etc.

V. My last weird habit is that I don't appreciate watching movie previews. I can't explain exactly why, but maybe because I'm crazy about psycho-thrillers and I think previews of these genre give out way much to the audience, so I refuse seeing them. As soon as I get the DVD into the player, I skip the menu options and I straight hit "play the movie". It is true that I seem not to have a choice when I'm at theaters, so I am never embarrassed to shut my eyes during the preview presentation. Weird? A little, I guess.


RE-POSTING... from 2006

Friday, February 5, 2010

Oh this is so so so necessary by now


For the fact that I own one of these (mine is green, btw), I am able to go to work in the SUN of almost +34C. Jesus Christ, this is really GLOBAL BOILING! I wanna go back to EUROPE when it's winter there, of course. DAH!

So going to take FLAMENCO dance this year

Black Power

I have already felt trapped, and  even powerless due to being with someone who wouldn't give me validation, hope. I lacked h...