Ten truths about myself

It's about time for you all - fellow bloggers, students, friendly readers - to know some truths about me... Embrace yourself and don't ever tell me that I have never warned you about these things.

1. If I stay more than 32 hours with empty stomach, I'll faint. I've also had this peculiar habit of shutting my eyes really tight every time I sneeze. My husband thinks this is kinda cute, though.

2. I've been trained by skillful disciples of an Indian guru called Paramahansa Yogananda to obtain the power of resurrecting living creatures. Since I'm in my early studies, so far, my power has only worked on recovering lizards' tails.

3. Some of the products that I can't live without are: adult diapers, dandruff shampoos, sleeping pills, holy water, concealer, and self-help books.

4. If I touch hot boiling water or heat up iron, I get burnt skin and blisters come out after that. And this is hard to say... but... my farts and belches aren't fragrant.

5. Some of the things you'll find in my bedroom are a butterfly knife, lithium, rat poison, pepper spray, a pile of old "O" magazines, and a box with all Mariah Carrey's best singles - anything for self-defense and protection.

6. Had I been born in Malaysia, I would have been born a toothless illiterate bald baby.

7. Some cars aren't made for me. They have got three pedals and I was born with only two legs.

8. Satan has found a way to control my technology devices. Many times while typing unsaved posts for blogs, e-mails for supplier, or working on translations, these texts manage to completely disappear from the computer system. And that normally happens after a computer screen window is closed. Where do these files go? Ask Satan. I almost forgot to mention some weird schemes that lie beneath some commands such as control-V, control-C, control-Z, control-N, and control-A. These are all devilish tools. I must exorcise this machine.

9. I don't want to shock any of you guys but I can't stand roaches so I do kill them in coldbloodedness when they come across.

10. Finally, I am very much ashamed of this, but... I have decided to let out some of my truths, so here it is: I have no power to control my heart beats. This is doggone true. Besides, I've got no eating disorders either. I've got no phobias, mental disturbance, or traumas. I'm free from depression or any sort of stress. Actually, I am not quite sure if I'm alive.