Depression has been visiting me again...

So it has been a while that antidepressants are not in my medicine cabinet. They were part of my daily routine for almost four years. They were expensive and they changed my body and personality. I had lost 10 pounds and my moods swings were contant. I am back in the Medium size and I don't spend as much when I go drugstore shopping. I lost all my pants, panties and most of my undies. However, depressed feelings are knocking on my doors. I am bitter. I am unhappy. I feel down in the dumps for no reason whatsoever. I wish I were slimmier. Whereas, I have got tons of real motives to celebrate life - I have got four jobs, a brand-new car, an apartment, 6 cats, and billions of tests/papers to grade. What more do I need? DEPRESSION.