Testimony of a Kidnapped Cat

A FURY TALEby Tibby Farinelli
I came to Laila's house almost a year ago. In fact, I didn't arrive here alone at first. I came in a shoe box that had some holes poked. I shared that box with my brother. We spent some hours together there but then we took different paths. He was adopted by Marciano - one of Laila's student. I got to stay in. Speaking of my brother, I haven't seen him since then, but I don't really miss him. Cats are raised to become independent beings. Well... Independent to some extent...

Laila's been a great owner. Laila and Roberto are really wonderful to me. They feed me, take me to our family vet, shower me, clean my litter box constantly, and even give me medicines that are needed to provide me a healthy lifestyle. Besides being a nice Siamese cat and all, I can't hide the fact that I am this curious animal that have those urges to venture for the sick pleasure of different smells and textures.

God! I can't see a door, a window, cabinets, or drawers semi or wide open - I will always try to walk out, fit me in, and I'll do all that by using my sneaky ways. Last Thursday morning, I had my last attempt. Roberto had brought Laila breakfast in a bag and left the front door not well shut. A-ha! I couldn't resist. I had been craving to play in the yard for days. I had a blast.

There were butterflies, bees, flies, beetles, flowers... awh! And the grass? Oh man, the grass dew touching my fur refreshed me. Roberto and Laila seemed to have forgotten me for some minutes (breakfast time) - so I decided to challenge myself. "What if I try to cross the street? Interesting!" You know, my owners rent this huge school/house which is located on one of the busiest avenues in town. There are cars, buses, vans, motorcycles, bikers passing by all the time... Ah! Let us not forget the pedestrians! Hey! Pedestrians? Yeah!

While I was trying to go across the avenue, this strange person (sorry readers, but due to the trauma I went through, the image of this person is very blurry in my memory, so I can't tell whether this person was a man or a lady... whether he/she was a child or an elderly)... so, this strange "individual" called my attention and convinced me to be petted. In a matter of seconds, I was in this person's arms being taken to some place that I wasn't familiar with. I tried to scratch and growl in order to protect me, but all in vain. This "human" was actually kidnapping me. I could not understand his/her reasons for having done that, I just know that I was taken from my place to somewhere else.

My owners gave me a collar where it was printed my name on, my home address and telephone number... there was even the school logo on that orange collar - as most of you know, I am a school mascot and many kids who study there enjoy playing with me. So, how come that "crook" did not send me back home? Of course, because he/she was a crook. Just simple as that. The kidnapper skillfully removed my collar and left me somewhere downtown. I was dropped off at a place that I cannot recall. After walking for so many hours, I winded up at a weird spot where I could see cars, kids, people that I didn't know who were going back and forth... Gee! I felt lost and abandoned. I was hopeless.

Later on, I was told that that place was a parking lot of some sort of commercial building. I would look everywhere at all directions trying to find any familiar face, trying to hear any familiar noise or recognize smells... And everything was so different for me. I thought that my owners didn't love me anymore. I asked myself: "where's my pink "HELLO KITTY" bowl of cat food?", "where's my scratcher?", "where's my fresh water?", and "what about my toys???" OH NO!

In that very morning I was kidnapped, Marciano (my brother's owner) had visited Laila and Roberto. He said he had been missing me so it was worth stopping by at Laila's. But I was not there. My owner told him that the school was gloomy without me. Marciano felt that too. He was sorry for that terrible situation. At that time, I had been missed for 12 hours. And I would spend 17 hours more on the streets downtown completely devastated. I walked and walked hoping to find my home without much headway. I had to hide from other cats and other possible mean humans. I was getting hungry and thirsty more and more.

I was about to have a breakdown when I finally found that parking lot I'd mentioned before and someone from there offered me food and some compassion. But little could that person do. My identification collar had been removed. I was hungry to death but I didn't feel like eating that food. After all, that was not my bowl; that guy was not my owner; that was not my place. I just felt like sleeping. After lunch time, I got up slowly, yawned, stretched like I always do after long hours of cat deep sleep, then I realized some people had gathered around me. I understood they were asking whose cat I was. "She belongs to nobody from around here", that parking lot guy said. I was then grabbed and placed on the right shoulder of a red-headed guy whom I didn't recognize at first. I confess that I wanted to scratch his back with my sharp claws, but he had said my name:"Calm down, Tibby. You're safe now!"

Marciano had found me. My brother's owner was my hero then. For some strange coincidence, he needed to catch a bus from a bus-stop that was located right in front of that very parking lot where I was. And the parking lot was a couple of miles from home. He looked at me from across the street and noticed that I could be Tibby - Laila's missing cat. And that cat was me. He brought me home on foot because the poor guy would not be allowed to get on a bus holding a kitty (I just hate prejudice, folks!). He sent me home safe and sound. And... I did scratch him once or twice on the way... you know, that is a natural self-defense mechanism I've got. It is pretty hard to control it. As soon as I arrived home, Laila held me tight. She hugged me, kissed me, and cried like she was the one who had gotten lost. I think that that was a human reaction related to affection. "Humans, strange material!"

Some changes in the house have been requested. Just because of this terrible event, she's fencing the yard properly and has kept a fat eye on me. Now, my walkabouts include my personal area and that's all. She's also made me read a list of cat duties, like I'd mean them, so that I can become a better kitty for her and Roberto. The list is right below. Check it out:

The 10-step plan to becoming a better cat

#1)I will not perch myself on my humans chest
and stare intently at her all through the night
and I will stop attacking her soft feet,
just because it will soon be daylight.

#2)I will not put my paws in the fish tank,
just to see if the fishy wants to "play"
and if I find any critters while outside,
OUTSIDE is where I'm going to let them stay.

#3)I'll learn how to relax at the vet's office
so everyone will say, " what a nice cat."
Then maybe the will erase what's on my
record, like "mean, a biter and a brat!"

#4)I will not hiss and growl for no reason
or puff up my body twice it's size just for fun.
Especially while my human is watching
a horror movie, cause it just makes her run!

#5)I will stop chewing on her houseplants,
especially those that makes me so sick
and if I vomit up something like a hairball,
I'll do it where she can't step in it and yell, "icky!"

#6)I will not stuff myself into the bird feeder
and expect all the birds just to fly in
and I won't ever chase any more chickens,
'cause they pecked my tail hairless, I can't win.

#7)I will not fall asleep on the stair's step,
because my dear human can trip and fall
and I will try to make a effort to come running,
instead of ignoring my name when she calls.

#8)I will not scratch the children of a lawyer,
no matter if they wool me and pull my tail.
and speaking of scratching, no more on sofas
well, not both claws, maybe just ONE nail.

#9)Hamsters and guinea pigs are the kid's pets,
they are not considered the "other" white meat
and remember, that bugs are NOT for eating,
maybe I can STILL have a cockroach for a treat.

#10)I will never tease the dogs while in the window,
if I fall from the sill, I won't blame anyone
and if the dog hits the wall while chasing me,
I will try not to laugh at him or make fun.

And as for the kitty litter, I will remember
that it is SUPPOSED to stay INSIDE the box,
NOT scattered all outside on the floor...( no
matter how much I enjoy doing it!

© by Rochelle Stanowski

And I took the chance to come up with my own 11Th step which is:

#11)I'll never be a nice kitty to strangers,
especially when I notice there is harm involved.
I am totally allowed to attack! FUCK YEAH!
Or else their souls won't regret having bothered!!!

PS: The kid on that picture who's holding me is Juliano Lampert, another Laila's student. She will certainly publish Marciano's picture as soon as he comes back to visit us. I don't know what could have happened to these folks without me!!!