I've already...

Looking stupid or goofy in front of others is something so easy to me. I am a teacher so that explains why I get involved in embarassing situations quite often since we, teachers, are always needed to speak in public, be around the crowd, and try to get attention from so different folks. This way I can say that I am the queen of bloopers. Even way before I turned a teacher, I' ve always found myself in silly situations like tripping on the streets downtown, bumping into tables or chairs, getting physically sick and having to vomit in front of classmates... Gee, the list is endless...

• I've already sneezed while singing in a choir our national athem in a elementary school when i was seven. The worst had not been breaking the song in the middle of an important passage. The problem was having splashed a liter of this green and sticky catarrh straight to a girl's curly hair who was standing right in front of me; I could not hold my nostrils since we had our hands busy holding the songs lyrics;
• I've tripped and fallen countless times. The worst was falling and sliding my ass down the stairs of a church altar on the day of my first comunion. This time was not my fault since they'd required us to wear those stupid long garments that made us look like the pope. And I have also invented a new hobby - falling off from revolving chairs - it is necessary to get some fast spins a little before your body gets to collapse from that piece of furniture. I highly recommend this new passtime because it can really amuse people around you.
• I've already recited poems and sung in public... Ah, I may've forgotten to say that ducks and pelicans reach better tunes than I am able to. I've sung drunk in karaokes. I've sung non-drunk in small stages of conservatories and city theaters. I normally sing while driving - like to check out the faces of other drivers when they see me chanting -. I sing all the time while pissing in public washrooms, cooking, correcting tests, and lecturing all the time. I've already gone up a stage of a british pub in the USA with an elderly originally from Liverpool and we sang "TICKET TO RIDE". His wife even got to film and picture that rare scene of a boozed old british gentleman singing Beatles with a drunk Brazilian chick lost in Uncle Sam's land. It was exquisite, I must say.
• I've let a whole lasagna get burnt - I had simply forgotten it. The worst was to know that that lasagna was for an important dinner that my parents were going to serve at our place. I was not so young when that happened. Shameful. By the way, forgetting things is my best talent : I always pay for my grocery shopping but sometimes I forget to bring them home; I've already planned to barbecue and forgotten to get the beef. I've already gone to Blockbuster to return films without the DVDs, or to the bank to make a deposit without the money... it nevers ends...