I. I just thought it would be cool to have a television set that comes with a special locator button for helping find missing remote controls.
II. I've dyed my hair black and have recently changed the colors of my walls here. My blogger friend Bulb is searching for other template colors and there are other friends that have completely deleted their sites from the web. Yeah, changes are tough.
III. I can't wait to restart my German classes.
IV. The worst movie I saw last week: CLOSER. The best one I saw last week: SAW.
V. Freezing cold weather helps my facial skin get blush and dry. Freezing cold weather makes me hungry for pasta, thirsty for hot drinks, and eager to sleep in.
VI. Caffeine does not affect me anymore. I need to find another legal substance that would warm me up and make me more alert to kids' cheating strategies.
VII. Tibby has been in heat for the third time and she's recently turned 6 months old. What's with this girl???
VIII. I don't see point in sweeping the floor if there will be dust piled up again on the same spot the next day. And the same is true when it comes to brushing the teeth, the hair, changing the bed sheets, and all the dirty dishes on the sink - how come washing them??? Why??? WHY???
IX. I've been pretty much happy for the last three years since no Jehova Witness has found out my most current address.
X. Humans are pathetic because they have to struggle for survival - and that does not include hunting or fishing any longer. They worship imaginary figures, can't fart nor belch in public (in most societies that's not acceptable), spend every penny they earn to own a gadget topped on 4 wheels, need to wear clothes to disguise their body imperfections, pay fortunes to possess accessories made of gold, torture themselves aiming a standardized shape of so-called beauty, believe in everything TV says, intake food suplements, work out at gyms to buff their arms and legs... And all this to die in the end. Gee!
XI. Based on Contra's Blog ->
XII. Based on Frida Kahlo's Diary ->
XIII. Let's face it! Teenagers and kids do not need to own cellphones.
XIV. Redudant expressions are so useless and so much fun simultaneously - check them out: advanced warning / current status / final conclusion / sudden impulse / unexpeted surprise (DA best!) / small in size / first time ever (my personal favorite) / natural instinct (this should become a medical term) / future plans (subtle) / hot water heater / VIP people / ATM machine / join together / HIV virus / SAT test / may possibly / completely unanimous (lol) / and the best one - TOTALLY EXCELLENT - very Brazilian!!!
XV. When I die I wouldn't appreciate my friends crying their asses off because they'd be missing me. "Crying" for me would not represent their deepest feelings nor would match with my character. At my funeral, I would love to see them laughing, but not laughing AT me, no... not that. They'd be cheering because they'd remember my best jokes, my worst bloopers, my dirtiest comments, and all my nonsense random thoughts. They would be served absynthe and only the most sophisticated fingerfoods at this gorgeous place. They'd make sure to take pictures with my corpse - after all, great parties like that do not happen every day. There would be loud live music and semi naked girls giving lap dances in private rooms, so that my husband - in case he is still alive - would have the first taste of how great it'll also be to be widowed. Oh Nelson.
whoa...i had to stop at the "worst" movie comment...CLOSER? What's the deal? What was wrong with it?
ReplyDeleteby the way, at MY funeral...i hope to have laughing gas pumped into the chapel so that by the time the eulogy is delivered, everyone is fucked out their minds. I wouldn't even mind if someone had milk come out their nose at some point.
ReplyDeleteSaucy Monk:
ReplyDeleteThe Laughing Gas idea is hilarious! I hope to be still alive when you pass away and that your relatives remember to invite your blog acquaintances to the services.
Bulb,
ReplyDeleteTell Mickey that I am not on the pill, so incidents might occur and he will have to take all the responsabilities over this.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteSaucy Monk:
ReplyDeleteAnd about the film "Closer" - if you lived in a country where everyone is a soap opera enthusiast, you'd understand what that film caused to my senses. I am not into those close-ups of relationship "shits" on the screen... It's just a personal impression of that flick. Nothing very serious.
i just kinda liked seeing Natalie Portman almost naked...
ReplyDeleteyour new hair cut looks cool and I like that you have dyed your hair in black, I have done the same color a few months ago...
ReplyDeletewell you look gorgeous,
see yaa, kisses :-*
X. Humans are pathetic because they have to struggle for survival - and that does not include hunting or fishing any longer. They worship imaginary figures, can't fart nor belch in public (in most societies that's not acceptable), spend every penny they earn to own a gadget topped on 4 wheels, need to wear clothes to disguise their body imperfections, pay fortunes to possess accessories made of gold, torture themselves aiming a standardized shape of so-called beauty, believe in everything TV says, intake food suplements, work out at gyms to buff their arms and legs... And all this to die in the end. Gee!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite!
Cool post!
Kisses
Photographs at a funeral, marvelous idea! Original and funny as heck, I like the way you think.
ReplyDeleteI immediately began seeing people shuffling around the room with combs and mirrors primping for the snaps. They could hire professional photographers…..
Professional photographer: “Next, who’s next?”
Mourning family member: “I think Aunt Martha is next. Where is she? Oh, Auntie there you are, come, come, it’s your turn to pose with the deceased, hurry up.”
Aunt Martha: “Why? He’s not going anywhere is he?”
However, candids would be amazing, since every family seems to have one, or several goof balls who like to wait till someone falls asleep, mess them all up in various manners, and take pics of them.
Mourning family member: “Okay, who was the wise guy who put lipstick, false eye lashes, and a brassiere on Uncle Harold? And, somebody get over there and remove that piece of sausage from his fly.”
--I am enjoying your blog.
Fineartist,
ReplyDeleteGive me a tranquilizer... Can't stop laughing at those:
"I immediately began seeing people shuffling around the room with combs and mirrors primping for the snaps. They could hire professional photographers…..
Professional photographer: “Next, who’s next?”"
"... Mourning family member: “Okay, who was the wise guy who put lipstick, false eye lashes, and a brassiere on Uncle Harold? And, somebody get over there and remove that piece of sausage from his fly.”"