2005 Resolutions

Gosh... what a cliché topic!
Who cares? It's almost new year and it is important to set some goals for the next 12 months!

FITNESS
Work out and lose 3 pounds;

INTELLECTUALLY
Read more and organize my study notes;

WRITER
Post in this blog more often, write more poems in Portuguese and finish up my book;

FRIENDSHIP
Neither take offense and nor accept being offended easily;

PROFESSIONALLY
Catch up with all teacher's duty at my school;

HEALTH
Drink more water and less wine (that will be difficult!);

HOUSING
Take care of my place as it was a little spot of Heaven;

FUN
Listen to music more usually and see even more movies at theaters;

HYGIENE
Don't allow the dishes get pilled up on the sink (Hard one too!).

Collection of English Poems

It's been an interesting moment for my creative motor... I think this has been the time to teach others that we are all limited, fragile, and vulnerable! That means if WE keep taking those who love us for granted, we've just been wasting our time on this planet.

I will post here some of my latest poems in English. Have been taught this language and have been able to communicate using this code for such a long time that it's way much easier to me to generate verses using the yankees' phonems, spelling, and pictured sentence structures such as idiomatic expressions, idioms, and even slangs.

I am not excusing myself for having chosen English to write my posts and poems. I am trying to tell myself that being a writer (regardless it's for mere fun...) who writes in a language which is not his/her mother tongue isn't an easy task and it takes a great deal of responsibility. I guess I can handle the obstacle for its difficulties and I am filled with responsibilities...totally.

TIRED OF THE SUN…

COVERAGE IS MY AIM
FORCING THAT, IT WOULDN’T BE WORTHWHILE
NATURAL SHIELD
PURE PROTECTION POWERED BY AN ANGEL,
A FIGURE JUST LIKE YOU
BRILLIANT SCHEME
COVER ME UP, COVER IT ALL UP
TENDERLY, SWEEP MY DUST
ORGANIZE MY PICTURES
FOLD MY CLOTHES
HEAT MY BED
BRUSH MY HAIR

BEING TOUCHED IS MY ULTIMATE GOAL
WOULDN’T MANIPULATE THAT, IT’S JUST NOT THE CASE
SIMPLE STARE
STERLING SOUL FREE FROM SINS
EXQUISITE TRUST
DRINK MY MILK, WASH YOUR PALE FACE WITH IT
CHEERFULLY, CONDUCT MY HANDS
SEW ME WINGS
WASH MY WOUNDS
PLANT SOME DAISIES
AND LET THEM BLOSSOM ONLY IN JANUARY

A SOFT TEAR WIPER IS WHAT I WANT
JUST A DELICATE KISS WOULD DO
AN UNPRETENTIOUS BIRTHDAY PRESENT…
TO BLOCK THE SUNLIGHT TOO

FORTEEN YEARS

CAN’T STOP ME
CAN’T CHOKE ME TO DEATH
THEY MAY EVEN TRY
THEY MAY JUST WISH FOR

SIMPLY CAN’T
SIMPLY CANNOT
CONSEQUENCES WILL BE GREATER
SEDIMENT FALSE APPEALS

BUILT-UP STEREOTYPES
CAN’T CONTROL ME
CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF
HOLD ME AND DO IT FIRMLY
THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP ME OFF

SET DESIRES
ENHANCES MY CREATIVITY
MANAGES MY ANGER
CONSEQUENCES WILL BE AWFUL
CONTRADICTING THAT - IMPOSSIBLE

TERRIBLE HABIT
CAN’T POUR ME ANOTHER ONE?
OH, SAY! CANNOT, HEY!
THAT’S NOT THE WAY
THERE IS NO UMBIVALENCE
I’M IMPRESIONED
RECKLESSLY COMDEMNED

SOME SAY SORRY
OTHERS SAY NOTHING
ANYWAY
CAN’T JUST TAKE A BREAK
MY FEELINGS GET JUST FAKE
MORE THAN ANYONE CAN TAKE
THAT’S IS A BIG OLD MISTAKE

W-O-R-D-S (...to a friend)

WORDS ARE STROKES ON CANVAS, ARE NOTES IN MUSIC, ARE SHAPES IN OBJECTS, ARE BLOOD IN PEOPLE. WORDS CAN BE SHARP, AS SHARP AS RAZORS. CAN CUT DEEPER THAN A FAST STAB, AND A STABBED SKIN IS A MIND FILLED WITH TRUE THOUGHTS, WRITTEN THOUGHTS RHIMING ON A CHEAP BAR NAPKIN. NAPKIN PLACED ON A DIRTY MAN'S LAP. WORDS CAN BE POWERFUL AND PAINFUL TOO. CAN HIT HARDER THAN A FISTED PUNCH - PUNCH OF DRUNK WANDERERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. WORDS CAN KILL, CAN MURDER LOVERS AT DAWN, CAN HURT AS BAD AS DEADLY SHOT GUNS... AND ALL BECAUSE OF THE EVIL THAT LIES IN EVERYONE AND IT IS KEPT INSIDE. THAT EVIL THOUGHT WHICH CAN'T BE HIDDENCAN'T BE DISGUISED. WORDS CAN BE SPIT, CAN BE SAID AS IT WOULD WEIGH TONS. THEY OFFEND THE SPINAL CHORD OF THE PURE LISTENER. WORDS ARE MEANT TO DESTROY WHEN ONLY USED THAT WAY...

Polivox

Mind your business, I should say
Care about your own wounds, if that might help
See for yourself, in case you are not able to believe
Show me the money, since you are all that
Never stop the music, if your senses can handle
Surprise others sometimes, for crying out loud.
There are gaps among cultures, as you may have noticed
Relax and don’t insist
Cheering yourself up is easier than you might think
Force an entrance and be the spotlight
Divine is your soul and you know it
Take it, grab it, squeeze it, and burst it
Elevators won’t lift if you don’t press the button
Is he, she, it never there when you need the most?
Take a hike, dump a load and say “FUCK OFF”
Feel the breeze which fall has brought us
Check out your surroundings…
…and splash it all from your urethra
Serve as you wish you were served
It is simple care
With touchy chores
Absorb shyness from somewhere
Brilliant tactic without hurting a shadow
Turn false impressions into pure appreciation of beauty
Rustic Aesthetics Senses
Necessity of art making
Mood, sentiment, techniques, contemplation,
Manifest your greatest poisonous consumptions
Feel the need to do the real digging…

My ideas of teaching ESL and being PBF franchisee in Brazil

PBF is a dream that came true...

My love affair with PBF schools started way before I was even born. My parents have been English teachers, just like me, since they were really young. They first set up their own Pink and Blue English School in Presidente Venceslau in the beginning of the 70's.

I used to live in the school building itself and even being that young, my mind was just filled in with English stories, songs, grammar, etc. I can say that I was once the mascot of my parents' school.

I grew up and was raised in that little town. I studied English with my parents the entire time I spent there. I even had the chance to teach English every now and then my parents would need my help, either tutoring or actually lecturing full time. My first given lecture occurred when I was just 14.

After moving out of town, I continue taking English classes in other private school and even taught at another famous private school in Brazil. In 1998, when I finally moved abroad (US), I kept helping student friends when doing their compositions and preparing themselves for proficiency tests.

In January, 2005, Roberto and I are celebrating the 2nd year of our business - PBF ENGLISH/ESPAÑOL - Caxias do Sul Unity, RS. The first two years were not easy, however these were the times when things fell on the right places. We started with an excellent number of students and next year an even greater number will graduate.

Having the first graduates stimulate our will to become more and more successful.

Teaching English to all Ages...

Being an English teacher isn't an easy task, especially when that is not your first language. What I do sometimes is to pretend that I don't understand very well my students' native language. Whenever my pupils derail into Portuguese, I try to rephrase the ideas in English to bring them back on track.

I hardly ever translate words, and my students can get really mad at that. I'd rather explain words in simple English and illustrate their meanings with examples. It's nice to have them thinking in that language. My principle while teaching is to add a great deal of cultural facts along with the language.

I also like to talk about economics and politics acting as a businesswoman when teaching businessmen.

I appreciate talking about movies, music, sex, and even drugs to teenagers so we can have an open-minded communication.

I can even become a teenager when teaching teenagers and play and laugh like a child when teaching children. Love teaching students of all ages!
Link to the site of the best English School ever!

THE CITIES OF MY LIFE...

Definitely I've learned so much for having the chance to live in so many different places...
HOW LUCK I HAVE BEEN!!!
Shut the fuck up, Laila. It has been all a matter of choice... And you know it!!!

ME - My first name is Laila and my second is Christina... I don't appreciate sharing my last name because they are many. Teaching is my main activity, although I do other things such as translating, interpreting, reading, writing poems, posts in blogs and flogs or making up English quizzes for tests or practices. I also do the dishes, pay bills, comb my hair once in a while, and scratch my ear canals with soft cotton swabs after shower - a sensational blast. My favorite pastime is getting in touch with friends, that I've made throughout these 30 years I have lived, through the web.

HOME TOWN - Originally, I am from a small town located in Sao Paulo state - a state of Brazil. The town is called Presidente Venceslau. What? Are you surprised? Yes! I was really born in Brazil, one of the most beautiful countries in the world. This country is really huge, there are about 200,000,000 inhabitants, and all races and beliefs can be found here. On the other hand, my hometown is so small that people hardly believe that it exists.

São Paulo state is located in the Southest of this country, where the weather is enjoyable. But, unfortunately, my hometown is not the capital of the state. My town is located inland, something like eight hundred kilometers from the sea coast. It seems far, but Brazil is so big that those long distances are never amazing.

Presidente Venceslau is the name of the town where I got born (as I had mentioned before), a name that not everyone can easily pronounce. There are only 40 thousand people living in there. Its kind of boring place to me, since I enjoy living in bigger cities with more options for fun. Yet, my family still lives there. I left the city when I was very young, for obvious reason: that place was too small for me.

SÃO PAULO - By the age of 17, I had the chance to live in São Paulo city - the capital of the state with the same name. My parents sponsored my studies there. I used to live in a section of the city called Bela Vista. It's an area near downtown, very interesting although quite dangerous. It's hard for me to say whether I liked or not living in there. I just know that São Paulo city, with its 17,000,000 freaks all together, is more than just a city, it's an astonishingly vibrant spot on earth. I bet the astronauts from NASA may sense it from the outerspace.

LONDRINA - Later on, 1994, I had to move to another place. Why? College matters. Where? PARAN state. Be more specific please: Londrina. Just another city in Brazil whose name is a reverence of London. No! Not just another city in Brazil, that is completely wrong. Londrina is my second home. Londrina is magical. Little London, that's what the name means, is infused with great minds and free spirits, talented musicians and espectacular actors, theater actors. And I won't forget the views of that place which would elevate in me the wish to be hedonistic for a lifetime. Well, after saying all that, you may ask yourself, "Why aren't you living there, then?" I'll answer that question in a few paragraphs below.

I'd kept myself in Londrina until the end of 1997. I even got a bachelor's degree in MASS COMMUNICATION from the local state university named UEL. For all those years, my parents afforded my living and study expenses. I can say that I had an excellent education and received a great deal of love from them. I owe all my success to them with all my heart. At UEL, I ended up graduating in journalism, although I have never worked as journalist professionally.

SAINT PETERSBURG - In 1998... Well back then, I moved to Saint Petersburg - USA along with my sister Jennifer, and after Roberto arrived there. There, we lived together in an international student housing where we could make friends from different parts of the world. I still keep in touch with some of them and that helps me have clear in mind all the good memories from Saint Pete. Few months later in that year, Beto and I decided to move out to our own place. The day we officially got into our home was on October 31st - Halloween holiday. Our apartment was cozy but we didn't have much stuff in it, like television, VCR, etc. However, we wouldn't stay much time without stereo. In the very first week, Beto got ourselves a nice JVC stereo system which gave us some joy until we finally settled down. At that time, I started my Associated in Arts studies at a local school called Saint Petersbrug College. I graduated a few years later, meanwhile I could work and enjoy the "American Way of Life" which was unique and very helpful to my inner self: by going through all that gave me the chance to grow mature and become self-assured. I've learnt that the world up there resides within. I am here, on Earth, therefore I am everywhere.

Everywhere can be magical and dreadful simultaneously. Any place is soaked in good souls and evil spirits. We've got to learn how to manage with these contrasts!

My stay in Saint Pete can be defined as a REFRESHING "SICKENED" EXPERIENCE.Loved having known and lived in such a mixed cultural city...

NOW - I am 30 and now I live in Caxias do Sul, back in Brazil... I'll leave to talk about it later in another post... IT'S BEEN SO CALM THESE DAYS... Let's not mess with it!

Words for Thoughts about LOVE

DAY 1 -> Again... Don't want to get started as I always do, saying: " Oh my! It's been a long time I don't post in here." Despite the fact that I have already started doing that... I would like to say something else, something deeper and more delicate to talk or write about. At least, it's something very difficult for me to construct a trail which will take to a person's heart gate.

I normally don't write about love, unless it is my personal feeling, the love I feel regarding relatives, my sweet partner (Beto), my students (I'm a full-time teacher), arts, etc. I was assigned to write about it because of my own will. I have been discussing this issue with so many friends and they all complain about some of the things listed below:

• The person I love doesn't want to see me;
• I don't even know where this person is or whether this person exists;
• I possibly love someone who's already engaged and knows no bean about my feelings towards him/her;

Well, if love were hell of an easy topic to digress, there wouldn't be so much art work dedicated to it. That's the beauty of it - its complexity, mystery, fragility, and supernatural force to destroy people's mind and make people lose their interest in everything else. They just keep thinking about the significant other.

DAY 2 -> My second day trying to come up with something that may convince someone else that his/her love is closer than he/she might think of. It's a very difficult task indeed. I normally don't take that long to write poems or simple posts in this blog.

The thing is that this is not a simple post and the poem I first intended to write was dedicated to a person whom I don't know in person, haven't talked through MSN, ICQ, not even exchanged e-mails at all. This person's name is Sandy... This is to you! I am a Brazilian friend of someone who apparently cares a lot about you.

I feel that it's my duty to let you know that I appreciated your photographs and the imagery you explore is easy to be infatuated by, therefore I decided to write something about them. Besides that, there is someone who's trying to convince you that you and him are meant to be together... I've chosen to convince you of the same thing, but using a different strategy - Read this, please:

Thought of you as a bird
Or a little fragile cub
Thought of you as a cold breeze
Or blue as heavy rain
Thought of you as a fraction of a second
You are all that and more…

Thought of your pictures as masterpieces
Photographs with rhythms
Thought of your pale hands holding the camera
Never thought of you as being brighter than the flash
Though wrong thoughts cross our mind every now and then

Your fuzzy lines
They’re exquisite
You shine
You sign

Thought of you as a fresh loaf of bread
As soft as molten snow
You are the seed of an endangered flower
Something that doesn’t happen every day
Someone one simply doesn’t let go away

Your art is direct
Nobel yearning for affection
Acceptance

Thought of you as the trace of human existence
Clear calm thunderstorms
Silent smooth earthquakes
The lenses seemed to be place backwards
The furiousness isn’t detached from kindness

There is no boredom
There are only impressions
There are no vague linear images
There is only intelligible beauty

If I could see them that way,
That means someone else could too.
That means, his eyebrows would elevate in awe
Because no matter what you say or do
It’s being made! Love is there!

You must realize the other side
You must see through the other person’s eyes
You should know that there are more than photographs saying: “Register me”

About having vacation...

I know that I don't keep track on my daily routine on this blog. In fact, this is not what this blog is about. I am not interested in sharing with strangers my personal acitivities, because they all don't concern anyone, but me. I intend to always post whatever might bring the difference, an extra flavor to everybody's thoughts. I won't let you down in case you really wish to read this kind of writing. I am not a professional writer, therefore you will find mistakes, awkwardness, and blemishes in my words. Don't take them for granted. Report me! Let me know that you are willing to improve this ability in me...

My vacation is about to come, less than two weeks away. Isn't that unbelievable? To me it is. It's been almost a year that I do not relax, sleep in, rent a bunch of movies without worrying whether I must return them or not. It's a bliss, a bless, a blast.

There are revolutions on world television...

Reality TV is an international thing... This is my final paper which was written and orally presented so that I'd graduate at SAINT PETERSBURG JUNIOR COLLEGE.A brief discussion about the popularity of reality television shows

I. Reality Television

Photography has the main characteristic of freezing the moment (the present). The cinema has brought, for the very first time in mass media history, the illusion of movement of an actual frozen moment. Television will then go further. Along with videotapes and VCRs, television comes closer to the receptor. The reality shows will be discussed in this project as being an important section of this entire complexity – the media television.
The meaning of the word ‘real” found in the dictionary is: “existing as a thing or occurring as a fact; not imagined or supposed: real and imagined fears, illnesses, achievements”. Reality show or reality television is an old term, which refers to any television entertainment program made by images of real competition, true car accidents, rescue, challenges, and exposures, which evolves somehow real participants. They present a variety of contents and different forms to attract specific group of viewers.

The most famous reality shows seen on American TV are “Big Brother”, “Survivor”, “Fear Factor”, “Cops”, “Jackass”, “Temptation Island”, “Lost”, “Boot Camp”, “The Osbournes”, “Murder in Small Town X”, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”, “The Chair”, “Weakest Link”, “America’s Most Wanted”, “60 Minutes”, “WWF Smackdown”, and many others. The list is endless and they are certainly not similar to each other. They differentiate in their language and veracity. Even though this mass media project will discuss them generally, there will be a categorization and individual explanation for didactic purposes.
This project intends to offer a simple comprehension of real television. This type of TV entertainment program will be seen as a serious trend in American media. Nonetheless it is not a new concept. It is being explored on TV since 1950s with quiz shows such as 21 and Jeopardy. There has been a revival of the idea. It seems to be produced by almost every network and cable channel. Reality television of our time has its own aesthetics, which differs from those of the early TV. Why have they become extremely popular? That is the subject of our research.

II.Television of 2000’s – Images of All Times

Television set brought to our household what used to be an outdoors habit – observation. Humans have practiced it since ancient history. To watch TV is directly related to this capacity of looking at the elements of nature, scenes of a theater play, or facts of distant cultures. Images are means to connect us to an imaginary world. Therefore television, photography, motion picture and computer screens are so attractive and extremely interesting. It is fun to watch it as well as to study about it.

This form of media is a development of the motion picture screen. Television has not only witnessed all changes of the society and transmitted facts of human history, but also it has influenced them. This is why is so important to discuss it as an instrument of communication, or more specifically, mass communication.
Due to advances in technology (production, edition, and others) and the search for greater audience, this type of media must change constantly. Television language has manifested today what it was not there fifteen years ago: reality TV. In general form, real television is the symbol of modernity. Its success is brought by its nature – INTERACTION. The 80s had produced the video games, which was the only way an audience could interact with television. Not anymore.

Quiz TV shows have had popularity since television was produced alive. Nevertheless, quiz shows of 2000s present different structure. It is more cruel, darker (the sets tend to be black, and the TV hosts usually dress in black). The so-called REALITY SHOWS are boosting higher rates of audience. To advertise during those shows has become almost as expensive as to advertise during the Superbowl (Rolling Stone Magazine).
It is unquestionable the popularity of shows as “Big Brother”, “Jackass”, “The Chair”, “Cops”, and many others. Marshall McLuhan said that television is a cool medium: “A cool or low literacy culture cannot accept hot media like movies or radio as entertainment. They are, at least, as radically upsetting for them as the cool TV medium has proved to be for our high literacy world”. McLuhan states that because TV requires not only the hearing and vision of the audience, but also the audience’s mind. Reality TV, consequently, requires that and the audience’s psychoses, fears, intelligence, anxiety, and curiosities. In this sense, it may be said that reality TV is an icebox.


III.From George Orwell’s “Big Brother” to Dave Carnie’s “Big Brother”

The rhythm of the capitalist life has accelerated television aesthetics. Television language is characterized by its pulsation. The time frame of an emission is counted by seconds. TV is constantly in a hurry because its time is expensive. There is also more violence in real life; therefore there is more violence in real TV.
It has said that television is the “window of the world”. But are we seeing the world through this window? Or the truth would be that this window is actually watching us, as Big Brother. Who has read the fiction book “1984” (also depicted in film) knows what Big Brother stands for. This expression brings in itself everything of what reality shows are: a concentration camp, full of rules, full of losers, that at the end throws to the audience the deepest feeling of emptiness.
For so many years television makers have preoccupied in constructing a simulation of reality. We are now seeing a new era of entertainment shows. We are having the opportunity to watch a type of television, which does not need sets or make-up. Think of “Cops”, which chases happen on the real streets and the blood is as warm as yours is. The reality show has the commitment of bringing the real life to your home, not a simulation of it. But let’s say the truth, no one in the western world eats bug or sleeps with snakes in the real life.
Television audience has been entertained by watching him or herself being suffocated, challenged, hurt, or humiliated. Reality shows present differences and similarities in their form and content. To understand them, it is going to be listed a categorization of reality shows:

A. Competition type of reality shows: Examples are “Temptation Island”, “Survivor”, “Big Brother”, “Fear Factor”, “Boot Camp”, “Bachelor”, etc. In this type of real TV, competitors are regular people, although most of them search career on television or celebrities are invited to attend the show. They learn and must follow the rules of the game, which usually consists in eliminating one or more competitor by the end of each presentation. These shows tend to last one or two seasons and its competitors normally become rich and famous after the show ends.
B. Quiz type of reality shows: “Who wants to be a millionaire,” “Weakest Link,” “The Chair,” “Jeopardy,” are few examples. This type is definitely the oldest. Shows like “The price is right” and “Hollywood Squares” also fit in this category. The home audience is directly interacted with these shows for trying to answer the questions along with the TV competitors. The prize is often cash and losers are important to emphasize the realism.
C. Violent type of reality shows: These are examples: “Maximum Exposure”, “Cops”, “Jackass”, and few others. Shows from this category don’t require competitors. It is based on violent scenes, either promoted by criminals, or promoted by curiosity of its hosts. Videos are presented showing real people (not doubles) being hurt, burned, beaten, or just practicing dangerous stunts. John Knoxville is one of the host, producers, and let’s say, victim of the MTV’s “Jackass”. In an interview for the Rolling Stone Magazine he explains the success of his show: “we’re working toward a common goal, doing what most people wish they could do, or wants to see someone else doing it.”
D. Curiosity type of reality shows: “The Osbournes”, “America’s Most Wanted”, “Dateline”, and talk shows comprise this type of reality TV. Their characteristic lies on creating and satisfying the audience’s curiosity, hence the name. These programs are popular for bringing to viewers a different routine or different lifestyle. It amazes to understand the mind of a criminal or to check how celebrity lives. Illnesses and rare diseases are also explored in these shows, as in the talk show “Maury”. This specific kind of reality television has been subject of good films such as “ED TV” and “The Truman Show”. Since this category presents a more opened definition, it may fit as well shows such as “Oprah”, “Montel”, “Crossing Over”, “Jerry Springer”, “Jenny Jones”, “Judge Judy” and so on.

The audience has never been so present in television. It is only you who decide what it is there to be seen. The remote control is the viewer weapon, but who pulls the trigger is the “numbers”. You may enjoy a specific TV program, but it is never certain how long it will be aired. Reality television, as we see it today, has dominated the scenario for over fifteen years. It may stay longer because it brings up “good numbers”.

IV. The answer of its popularity

The structure of television has always been based upon a dichotomy between reality and fiction. Umberto Eco was the first mass media critic to defend that television no longer raises a division between fiction and non-fiction. According to Ciro Marcondes Filho (a Brazilian television critic of a national newspaper), television still contains the classic duality real/non-real. But it is presented in a different level. He believes that in television, the focus is what locates in front of and behind the cameras.
The huge popularity of reality TV or reality shows is caused by its capacity of melting the screen, which separates the viewer from the show itself. A TV set must be part of everyone’s life, as well as TV shows must give a piece of someone else’s life. The “window of the world” is now literally throwing at our face what our world is made of; it is showing what we are capable to do to grab a great amount of cash.
TV had produced live shows for so many years, before videotapes became possible. Every line and detail of the set would be thought, studied, and practiced as many times as necessary to avoid embarrassments (with the audience, TV hosts, and sponsors). The audience was unquestionably seen and treated with tremendous respect. This project has no intention to underestimate the efforts, which may take to produce shows such as “Survivor”, or “Fear Factor”. But theses TV programs don’t seem to offer deeper thoughts of what reactions they might cause when they present people drinking cups of animal blood.

The success of reality television must be seen as phenomenon. Quiz shows of the 50s provedthat its power would expand and dominate the largest numbers of the television industry. Television set has been considered an indispensable home appliance. Our society cannot accept life without it. It is believed that TV helps relieving stress and it is an effective instrument of education. It calms down children and diminishes the solitude of retired seniors.
Obviously reality shows are not able to promote those aims. Therefore, the target audience of these programs is teenagers, young adults, and adults. The viewers firmly embrace this new approach, by watching it, and purchasing products that may sponsor the shows. The remote control and the need of interaction must have caused the fall of quality in television, as well as the rise of reality TV.
This media is not allowed to be tedious. It also can’t exist without financial support. Reality shows have become so lucrative because it is not tedious. Reality television has explored the idea of IMPACT. TV of 2000s has to shock and it has to invite the audience to be part of the bestiality.


V. LAST THOUGHTS

This project has tried to develop a critical discussion about the popularization of reality TV shows. Its main goal was to answer the question: why does everyone want to watch “Survivor”? I have faith that the answer is not only achieved, but also promoted something that I would call a study of American television of our times.
Few materials gave support to this research, such as magazines articles, and college mass media publications. Its author created the categorization of the reality shows. Since it is a rustic materialization of my own thoughts, I wish to develop this topic in a further research thesis. By separating them in categories, I gave a practical and easy form to present its similarities and differences.
Reality television must be seen as an old idea, which has returned, remodeled, and become the latest trend in American media. There was a need to define it, in order to comprehend the popularity of these shows. This project wants to be explanatory, not a negative description of this type of TV production. The discussion was purely based in what I have observed in those shows – in its aesthetics and contents.


IV. Works Cited and References

Books and Magazine Article

Eco, Umberto. Travels in Hyperreality. New York: Harcourt Brace &Company, 1999.

McLuhan, Marshall. Undestanding Media. London: The MIT Press, 6th Ed., 1997.

Serva, Lea. Babel: Midia Antes do Diluvio nos Ultimos Tempos. Sao Paulo: Editora Mandarin, 1997.

Filho, Ciro Marcondes. Televisao. Sao Paulo: Editora Scipione, 1994.

Hedeggar, Erik. “Jackasss: TV’s New Gross Out Hit.” Rolling Stone Magazine, issue 861, February, 2001.


Movies and Fiction:

“The Truman Show”
“ED TV”
“1984”


Television Programs:

“Survivor”, “Fear Factor”, “Jenny Jones”, “Jerry Springer Show”, “Oprah”, “Jackass”, “The Osbournes”, “Cops”, “60 Minutes”, “Dateline”, “Boot Camp”, “Who wants to be a millionaire?”, “The Chair”, “Weakest Link”, “Maury Show”, “Montel”, “Judge Judy”, “Murder in Small Town X”, “Bachelor”, “Temptation Island”, “Lost”, “The Osbournes”, “Amazing Races”, “Hollywood Squares”, “21”, “The Price is Right”, “Jeopardy”, and any other show, which evolves real competitors or participants.

This paper was developed for a course at Saint Petersburg College, where I got an Associate in Arts degree in Liberal Arts!

Humans: what a strange material

It's been a long time that I do not post anything relatively updated! I am a pretty busy person and time is precious to me! Besides, I'd rather write precisely what I've been feeling...

I've been feeling these days the need to digress a poem which would underline my bizarrre mind! People normally get me as being a freak individual. I don't wonder much about that; however there might be a slight possibility that they are right. Do I hurt anyone by being this weird? Guess not! So, my point is, am I taking advantage of being spacey? I sure am, 'cause I believe that I know perfectly how to distinguish the important matters from the fruitless issues. Hence, I stress over the only important subjects to me. I can say that I am a bit selfish then, too selfish sometimes.

I've been intellectually supported by a one of a kind partner, lucky me! He would die to read that poem which I had mentioned in the paragraph right above. Could I be able to do it at this exact moment? We never know. I guess writers never know when he/she is ready to create.

I consider my writings extensions of my mental footages. The scenes I invent are shot or taped especially before I fall asleep or mainly during my bedtime. I would make movies out of my imagination if I could. I might be able to write a book if I had spare time to develop intense characters though. Realistically speaking, I may need to acquire more writing talent to make something in English. This is a straight clue that I am a freak, 'cause I write in English and this language simply isn't my mother tongue. Well, for those whom English is their first language, they should have already noticed my lack of vocabulary or my excess of odd sentences.

And... What about the poem then?

I'll leave it for later. I am too tired, sleepy, and even hungry. It's six o'clock on a Sunday morning for crying out loud. Who on this planet would stay in front of a computer screen trying to come up with lyrics, metaphorical phrases, or just mere words to fit in short lines with rhymes and double meanings??? I would. See? Laila, you are a freak! Now I know it!

What about art making...

When I was once assigned to write about a book that I had read, or a movie that I had seen or even a concert that I had attended, which made a considerable difference in my life, I became thoughtless. I could not come up with any favorite work. Because every picture I see or fiction I read or concert I attend may touch me somehow and create in me at least a little difference.

I am attracted to beauty, knowledge, and entertainment. Every work of art, that implies beauty or helps me to escape from our everyday stressful life, creates a new section in my brain, metaphorically speaking. It is like creating a new folder in the Windows software.

When I have the opportunity to check a new movie, fiction book, CD, a art gallery and so forth, I learn more about the author’s talent, the protagonist’s life (especially in case of biographies) or simply the sense of aesthetics depicted in the work of art.

I aspire being an arts critic someday, although I have been practicing another profession which I truly love. Hence, I approach openly to all sorts of artwork. But that assignment had to be done about something more specific, so, I ended up writing about the last movie I had seen at that time.

The film is called “Before Night Falls” and it is directed by Julian Schnabel. This movie is a Cuban-American production based on the life of a Cuban writer, Reinaldo Arenas, who lived in his native country during the communist revolution, later left Cuba for being gay, and died for having the HIV virus.

“Before Night Falls” is well written and the actors have built a great sense of realism. It is also provocative because it does not hide every homosexual relationship the writer had. It illustrates the sad side of being a gay artist in the communist Cuba. The protagonist is arrested and remained in prison for not choosing to follow the “normal’ sexual life. Although homosexuality is a commonplace in the arts and entertainment fields, it was never well accepted in the 40’s and 50’s, especially in a Latin and early communist culture.

The plot of this movie is strong and touching. I definitely started a new folder in my "Windows Explorer" mind dedicated to it. This folder is yet not filled with lots of “k-bites” of memory because I still know little about this writer’s works.

Only great directors, actors, or even memorable scenes make me set a new folder for them, if they do not bring me new knowledge, beauty or do not entertain me, I send them to the garbage bin (metaphorically speaking).

The Yellow Wallpaper and Melancia - writings about pregnancy!

Wish to be mother. Curious of being mother. I will be a mother some day!

The text that you are about to read is a "reading response" about a short storie called YELLOW WALL PAPER:

Women’s bodies and mind face great changes during and after pregnancy. In Charlotte Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper” post-partum depression is discussed as one of the traumas that pregnancy might cause. The protagonist agonizes by having hallucinations seen through images depicted in bright yellow wallpaper in her bedroom, apparently caused by this condition. Moreover, she does not feel prepared for the motherhood.

The post-partum trauma has been just recently well studied. There are even cases that the mother wishes to kill her own baby. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, the mother does not feel ready to take care of him. She desperately needs to stay alone, preferably in the bedroom where she can wonder images from the wallpaper. Since this story was written in the 19th century, her condition was seen as a mere illness. Her husband does not collaborate much, besides he denies her request of changing the wallpaper. John, the husband, complicates her recovery by not letting her live normally.

The mother’s situation does not improve with time. The wallpaper suffocated her so intensely that I could not believe what she has to say: “I never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before, and we all know how much expression they have! I used to lie awake as a child and get more entertainment and terror out of blank walls and plain furniture than most children could find in a toy-store (Gilman 172).”

Hence her post-partum condition, she resigns towards John. Historically women were dominated by the opposite sex for years and years. The mother in the short story follows the standard female character built in each woman of those times. She is “forced” to not understand her condition without even noticing that. The color and distinct shapes of the wallpaper haunted her “psychological being”, betraying her own body’s will: “I’m feeling ever so much better! I don’t sleep much at night, for it is so interesting to watch developments; but I sleep a good deal in the daytime (Gilman 168).”

Her husband denies, even unconsciously, helping her recovery. It is very disappointing to know how women have been neglected, rejected, and confused for so many years. The protagonist offers vulnerability only: “he laughs at me so about this wallpaper (Gilman 161).” John is in every man when ignorance becomes his main power. Gilman’s description is excellent, the house, garden, the room, color, textures, etc. Yet, the author confuses us a little, as readers, by having written a supposing ghost short story. In fact, back in old times, most of the psychological disturbances were treated as having witchcraft or haunting origins.

Work Cited

Gilman, Charlotte Perkins. “The Yellow Wallpaper.” Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing. Ed. Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell. 4th Ed. Fort Worth: Harco

"CLARA" - A book by Luisa Valenzuela

Well, since books are my obsession. I think it's about time to post a reading response about "CLARA" - a narrative fiction about a very naïve lady. It sometimes reminds me "A HORA DA ESTRELA" by Clarice Lispector. It's a must-read work.

I. PRESENTATIONLuisa Valenzuela’s novel “Clara” is an interesting literary work, which was developed during the sixties. The author was twenty-one years old when she finished it. Clara (the title) is the main character’s name. The word clara in Spanish, besides being a proper name, is an adjective that means enlightened, clear, pure, and well understood. The magic of this novel lies on these points: Clara’s life is brutally dark, and her dreams are not understood at all. Valenzuela’s techniques of playing with opposite ideas will be the focus of the discussion in this paper.

It is almost impossible to define what Latin American literature represents, since it is a combination of different tendencies, and made of a spectrum of materials. Although, Valenzuela’s literary work is essentially Latin American (qualifying it) because it tells stories of her people. The author’s background (she is Argentinean) helps molding characters, settings, time frame, and the plot. In “Clara”, Luisa Valenzuela does not escape from that. Moreover, she brings about a relationship towards her characters.
The 60's were the time when women became more evident, and her role more important, in the process of mobility of the social classes. That was also the time of massive political reaction in South American countries. Censorship and lack of democracy boost creativity in arts, generally speaking. Writers, musicians, poets, journalists had to develop new codes (metaphors, metonymies, or symbolism) in order to express their minds. In this novel, the author’s literary strategies will be seen as a game where opposites play. The historical facts and information of her personal life will be fundamental for this comprehension.
II. LUISA VALENZUELA
Argentina is located in South America (see appendix) with approximately 40 million habitants. Its economy is considerably based on agricultural produce (cereals and meat), and mineral extraction. The capital is Buenos Aires. Facing the Atlantic Ocean only, its seacoast is not so extensive and does not present a tropical climate.

Clara is an Argentinean woman who leaves her parent’s home when still young. She seeks a dream. Luisa Valenzuela is a famous writer for creating simple characters full of dreams and expectations. Clara’s ultimate dream: to know the ocean. Her father promises to take her to the beach since her childhood.
Luisa Valenzuela writes novels and short stories. Her favorite topics are tales of simple people from the low classes, death, and prostitution. Ironically (or not), Valenzuela is anything but poor. “Since childhood, Luisa Valenzuela has been exposed to literature. Her mother, Luisa Mercedes Levinson, was a well-known writer; her father, was a physician. Among the close friends who visited their home was Jorge Luis Borges”. (Gautier 295) She started working as a journalist at the age of fifteen. She gave up the press later in her life for not being allowed to free her writing during Argentina Peronista.
She moves then to Iowa (US) to attend a creative writing course. Later, she gets married and lives in Paris for four years, mostly housekeeping and writing journals, which became this and two more novels “Lizard’s Tail” and “The book that does not bite”.
“Clara” is Luisa’s very first novel. While interviewed by Magdalena G. Pinto, the writer confesses being very young when she wrote it. Therefore, she lacked some literary techniques, which made it a bit repetitive with irrelevant circumstances. (201) The labor of prostitutes is a repetition of circumstances in itself. Some circumstances might be irrelevant; some might not. Observe this piece of Valenzuela’s novel:

"It would be nicer to go to the zoo, or to the movies. Right near the hotel there was a cinema with continuous shows where you could see the same movie three times in a row. Exactly what she needed: that way, there wasn’t a single detail left out. The first time she looked at the pictures; the second time she read the subtitles; and the third time she tried to do everything at once and figure out what the story was about." (Valenzuela 23)
“Clara” is brilliant because it presents a powerful story with a well-constructed ending. It tells about the crude reality of the Argentinean underground. Its engine functions through a tension between opposites: women Vs men, vast Vs uptight, freedom Vs prison, warm Vs cold, etc.

III. CLARA
Clara left home at the age of eighteen. She runs away and can not afford to travel to the closest beach. So, she finds herself lonely in a larger city somewhere in Argentina with absolutely no skills, nor protection against life’s danger. She awoken dreams of how majestically the ocean might be. And as the waves of the sea swings objects on the water, she is taken to the prostitution world. So many men who promise to drive her to the ocean exploit Clara. At this point, Valenzuela promotes a change of setting, but does not offer a change of state.

The young woman moves out of her house for not accepting her father’s cheating ways, but in the streets, she is continuously dominated and humiliated by male figures: Victor, Carlos, Tono Cruz, Don Mario, Cacho, Alejandro (a magician/fortune teller). She marries Alejandro though, the only male character who directs her to a different life style. He marries her so she may work as his partner for magic tricks. They become known with the box trick, where large razors are inserted giving the impression of cutting three layers of the person’s body, who is in the box.
Again it is possible to see the confrontation between two opposites. Clara seeks the ocean, which is vast and symbolizes freedom. Nevertheless, she is kept locked in hotel rooms or in magic boxes, where she is metaphorically exploited by pieces. Even though she reaches the ocean, it was at a cold rainy night, while she cries for having had a fight with her husband.
"Dark, lonely, cold. Dark, lonely, cold. Each step was a painful echo that repeated the litany. Rain had soaked her clothing and was running down her back. The only warmth came from her own tears, streaming abundantly and blocking her vision; even her own tears were conspiring against her. They grew cold, making frigid tracks down her cheeks." (Valenzuela 157)

The author divides Clara’s story in three parts called: The Body, Transition, and The Head, as in the magician’s box trick. The final part is absurdly named “The Head” because this is how it ends. She dramatically tries to kill Alejandro during his sleep with a razor. But, as in a trick, she falls asleep and he becomes the slaughter instead of the victim. Her head is being cut off on her throat while she wanders: “It’s my destiny, after all. It’s no use trying to escape it any more, or trying to scream or defend myself. I’m going to be the head without a body, without tricks or mirrors.” (Valenzuela 159)
IV. THE HEAD
History has shown that women had been dominated by the male figure since the earliest days. The 20th Century changed this reality in a general sense. There are still obstacles that seem to be impossible to get over, the glass ceiling for instance. Some Marxist-feminists say that women fought all these years to become as exploited as their opposite figures. Is there any seen progress by having more women sharing the power? Or, are women struggling to become the same thing and not really making the difference?
These questions were not asked in “Clara” explicitly. However, Luisa Valenzuela wrote this novel during her housekeeping years (mid 60s.) During a whole period of history means had been sought to free women from domestic bonds. Luisa was young, had traveled, and all of a sudden found herself enclosed in one of the most famous cities in the world: Paris – the city lights (Clara.) The author must let her main character have her head decapitated literally in a desperate ending. Clara’s husband cuts off her only possession. He takes from her not only her life but also her capacity of changes. The only instrument that no men (Victor, Carlos, etc) could exploit. Even more absurdly, all that happened right after she had seen the ocean, her ultimate dream, which was stimulated by her father.
This dream/obsession of knowing the sea can be read as an intense search for identity. Clara knows the ocean as much as she knows about her world, her condition, herself. She does not actually play in Valenzuela’s game; she is unconsciously forced to it. “Clara” will be always a recent literary work because it is true light, a true life, and a true condition of life.
Alejandro, the slaughter, is her husband. No men treated her so violently as he did. Yes, Clara had suffered all kind of abuses, but he goes beyond our acceptance. He kills the magic. He ends the story. Furthermore, Alejandro had killed her long time before the actual assassination. Because he betrayed her, like her father did to her mother. Her marriage represented an end to her “sexual freedom”. Living a prostitute life introduced Clara to a different, adventurous, and false happy life. Every man she encountered, she believed having loved each one of him.

V. CONCLUSION
According to Simone de Beauvoir in her philosophical book “The Second Sex”, the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women demanded that equality in rights of the two sexes be recognized in all countries. It would seem that the game is won: the game of the opposites. The future can only lead to a more and more assimilation of woman into our once masculine society. (135) Or the female figure would have become more and more masculine into this still masculine society since many women are to face difficult machismo barriers, for instance the role of pimps in the prostitution world.
In Luisa Valenzuela’s game there were not winners. For her, there was not even an end. In the preface of “Clara”, in the edition I have read, she wrote: “When I was twenty-one I knew nothing about the open ending as a literary technique, but no doubt that’s what I wrote. Each reader has the right to finish the novel as he sees fit, although even today I still believe (as I did yesterday) that Clara doesn’t die: there’s no more effective weapon than confusion against someone who thinks he’s the sole possessor of all truths.”
Following this opinion, another possibility of comprehension of “Clara” is that Luisa works with ambiguities, not opposites. “I am always trying to present different possibilities and sufficient ambiguity in writing, so that the reader can add his own level of reading to the work.” (Gautier 298) Her text perfectly opens many windows. Latin American literature, as I mentioned in the beginning of this discussion, is a combination of different tendencies. It has suffered influences from old literary works as well as it has influenced new ones. It can’t be defined, as it would represent a big mass of the same thing. The term Latin American literature just represents the geographic area or the culture from where it is originated or from whom it is created.
Valenzuela had not developed “Clara” in Argentina, although the story happens there. That is why it is considered Latin, and also absurd, and for some critics - surreal. The spectrum of interpretations is given through the language. Because our author follows the basic principals of the creative writing, which is write what you don’t know you know. She has never experienced the life of a prostitute, but she can easily create one with language. During an interview for a television program she quotes Martin Buber and completes: “In creation, I discover. The conscious carries many secrets and the language unveils them for you – so live in the unconscious. It’s the muse. One minute we know what the unconscious is, something very intelligent.”
Not only she writes creatively, but also she engages with her characters. They obviously can’t die because they are part of her. Clara is not only a naïve young woman from the country who is unconsciously forced to exchange sex for money. She is the symbol of the fragility, something that feminist women would never have the courage to discus about.
Clara is dark and misunderstood. She is full of expectations, but she does not live long enough. She seeks freedom, however spent most of her life in kitchens, cheap hotel rooms or magic boxes. Valenzuela placed Clara in a game. This game had two competitors: men Vs women. It was the game of opposites. Clara never noticed it.

WORKS CITED

Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. New York: Knopf, 1953. 447-628.
Gautier, Marie-Lise G. Interviews with Latin American Writers. Elmwood Park: The Dalkey Archive Press, 1989. 295-322.
Pinto Magdalena G. Women Writers of Latin America. Austin: University of Texas Press, 1991. 194-221.
Valenzuela, Luisa. Clara. Translated by Andrea Labinger. Pittsburg: Latin American Literary Review Press, 1999.Home Video “Luisa Valenzuela, su vida y trabajo”, 1992

Here I am

Well, I might be kind of old to have blogs and stuff. Or maybe not. I am just 28 and I can't agree that there is any specific age or period of time to do the things you wish to.

Certainly it's more than interesting to share my thoughts, my writings, my experience through words. There is no other reason why I've decided to start this stupid blog on this web which I love significantly.

Below, you'll find a composition that I developed in 1998. I located it the other day. It's a crap piece of writing but there you will get to know the kind of person I am:

"Why should I write about life? OK! I should write and that’s all. I like writing but it could be better if I could have chosen my own topic for this essay. This is not a big problem. I’ll try to do my best. Life! There’s nothing in my mind about it. Maybe I do not want anything from life... I should just enjoy it. We don’t have to spend our time with foolish things, because life is short and it’s impossible to keep actions, just pictures in our memory. I am not sure if I’m able to write about what I want from life, but I think it’s time. Actually, to write about life makes me a little homesick. I always start to remember my country, my life, my friends and that’s why it’s getting difficult for me to think about my own and simple life. I’ve already grown up and now I can feel myself less immature. I’m not a child anymore, I am just 22 years old. I finished my college in my country just last year, but I couldn’t find job there.

Now I have a profession. I can work as a journalist if I want to. But I’m still not sure about my choice. In my culture we have to choose our job very early. The point is I had to think about my work when I was too young to decide. That’s why I am writing about my job and about my life. Life is such a difficult subject to write about. But for me, in my own opinion, life and work come together. When we are not happy with our job, certainly we are not happy with our lives. I would like to enjoy my life a little bit more.

I would like to be working at this time, and maybe I could be happier than before. I must be wrong but for me, to get a good life means to have money and time enough to do whatever and whenever we want. Of course that getting a good life also means to have good brains and eyes to realize our past and future. Actually I’m a little confused because, for now, I can’t see my future without a job. So, I need to make money and I don’t know how. Do you know what I really want from life? Some chance to find out what was made for me. I want a house, a family, a good car, health insurance, like every common person. But at first I need a profession which fits me like a glove, just to earn money and make me satisfied.

I want from life a little peace of mind. Sometimes it’s possible to find out our right way to live when we’re young, but it didn’t happen to me. I don’t know why but my parents took good care about me and for several times I couldn’t help myself when I needed it. They just did it for me. I understand them. They just wanted to make me safe. But now... I want more chance from life to learn and make me stronger. Yes... That it is so true!"

My hometown deserves a few changes...

I was born in Brazil, one of all most beautiful countries in the world. That country is really huge and it’s such an interesting place. Our territory is divided by 26 states. I used to live in Sao Paulo state. The capital of my state is also named Sao Paulo. It’s the second largest city in the world. There are twenty million people living there. It is the richest and most industrious place in Brazil.

São Paulo state is located in the South of my country, where the weather is enjoyable. But, unfortunately, my hometown is not the capital. My town is located in the countryside, something like eight hundred kilometers from the sea coast. It seems far, but Brazil is so big that that long distances are never amazing. My hometown is small, there are just 40 thousand people there. It’s a kind of boring place, that’s why I would like to change a lot of things there.

First of all, I would change its name: Presidente Venceslau. Weird, isn’t it? Yes, it is. It’s the name of one of our presidents. He was our president in the beginning of the last century. In my country, people have this kind of habit, to honor important personalities, putting their names in cities, schools, streets or libraries. There are no problems with that. But the point is to honor bad leaders as ex-dictators and anti-democratic politicians like this president.

Then I would change our main economy, I mean, the way of production. For example, our main economy is to raise cows, bulls, and sheep and to grow sugar-cane. This is really troublesome because this kind of economy doesn’t create jobs, or at least jobs that people can earn a fair salary to afford good education and even to pay all necessary bills. But they can survive somehow, working in two or three different places like restaurants, shops or housework.

Another thing is to suggest a great project for the environment and leisure. Everyone could learn how to recycle all kind of materials. And after, the government could build public spaces for recreation, like parks, artificial lakes with many threes and culture clubs. It would be also very important to make everybody respect the new traffic laws. For example, it’s illegal to drive without fasting the seat belts now. And it’s quite hard to make each person understand that. Probably, it would be interesting if all can get classes to know a little bit more about the new laws.

If I could change all of those things, I’d come back my hometown immediately, because it is a really safe place to live and to raise children.

Reasons to write. If you haven't found reasons to do it, maybe I can help in that matter...

My dream future is happening right now, just as I speak (or blog). The world may become one nation while I am here trying to prepare myself to understand, be part of, and survive in this historical moment. My writings have become my instrument to conquer my space. I have seen many things in life, but not everything that there is to see. This is what brought me to this practice; the possibility of learning how to play this instrument (writing) accurately and sophisticatedly. I've always believed that writing allows one to live different experiences, breathe in distant drafts, and step on exotic soils. Writing is so powerful. Besides, I am enchanted with this media technology called webblogs. Blogs are useful reading because it is a language that entertains, amuses, and even teaches about new places, cultures, and other people's ways to see life through without killing the magic of the moment. Here, you'll read old letters I received, past emails sent, school and college projects that made me proud of my 3.8 GPA, my mad poems which will be part of a "maybe-book" named THE PAWNSHOP (got the picture?), and other epiphanies. Through my writings, I have gotten the capacity to organize this whole wide world, to plan the chaos, and give meaning to all facts in my life.