The Mysterious Corpus Christi

I normally have time to write new posts here only when there is holiday. Yesterday, June 7th, was an example. We celebrated Corpus Christi. Nobody worked or went to school because of it. The funny thing to me about this holiday is that I may be Christian, but I am not really catholic, so why should I have celebrated it? I say again: "I may be Christian" but I don't see why I (me, Laila) have got to celebrate it.

I was taught Christianism principles at school and home, and, I live in a catholic country - at least that is what encyclopedias say about Brazil. I personally think that most people down here have protestant beliefs rather than catholic, anyway. Fewer and fewer Brazilian families attend masses and to make it worse, I developed a public survey myself last week regarding Corpus Christi day and nobody knew how to answer a tiny little query. The question was very simple: "What do we celebrate on Corpus Christi?". Most answered: "I don't know!" or "We celebrate the "body of Christ". What? What's that? Whose body? Just kidding.

Since not many could explain to me what the holiday is about, I had to research on it myself. And here it is what I've found: Corpus Christi is the celebration of the Holy Sacrament or Eucharist. "Most Christians classify the Eucharist as a sacrament. Some Protestants view it as an ordinance in which the ceremony is seen not as a specific channel of divine grace but as an expression of faith and of obedience to Christ."*** From the earliest times, the followers of Jesus had a sense of His continuing presence with them as they gave thanks, broke bread, and shared it, together with a cup of wine - the Sacrament.

Besides that, Corpus Christi is a celebration of theology; how Catholics understand what Christians believe. The Feast of Corpus Christi began in the late Middle Ages not only as a service of special recognition and thanks for the gift of Jesus's Presence with humanity in the "Sacrament of the Altar", but as a service which emphasized a particular way of understanding the nature of that Presence, an understanding then later called "trans-substantiation."

This theory provides one particular explanation of how Jesus is present in the sacrament -- the being or "substance" of the physical bread and wine is actually changed, overtaken by the spiritual presence, so that what looks to us like bread -- the same as before the prayer of consecration -- is now in actuality the flesh of Jesus. It appears to us as bread, but that's an illusion -- what seems to us as bread is Really flesh. Of course, according to this theological theory.

Understanding or not this religious holiday is a matter of choice. What I will never understand is why people who aren't catholic, like me, have to celebrate something that we barely understand what it is. And the worst, why don't catholics in this country understand it either? And one more thought: Brazilian culture covers more religions, then why don't we celebrate Native or African-Brazilian beliefs as well? How come we don't?

***Wikipedia

Just a little trivia about me...

I am from São Paulo (Brazil). Hence, I’m stressful and cannot 'samba'.
I despise Bossa Nova, soccer, and carnival.
I have a problem saying 'yes' or 'no'... I stick with 'maybe'.
Narrow-minded people cannot understand me.
I have an excellent memory for names.
I barely like music. I mostly care for books and movies.
I’ve carried the same pens in my pencil case for twelve years.
I cook very well but I’m lazy.
I love deli platters.
I like Christina Applegate.
I collect coins from different countries.
I love helping my friends if there is something I can do.
I don't retaliate - simply can't.
I love colors.
I can’t stand work associates that set up plots to get themselves better positions or a mere raise.
I am never punctual.
I fear driving. I fear sitting on the passanger's side too.
I don't spend loads on books, but I do splurge on second-hand ones.
I hate people with no sense of humor.
I don't give alms but I monthly donate money to some institutions.
I love Thelonius Monk.
I listen to Muddy Waters.
I've got no patience for Janis Joplin.
I complain a lot.
I hate when others think my mother tongue is Spanish and the capital of my country is Buenos Aires - I'll shoot any person who has ever thought of that. I mean it.
I know how to say ‘I’m sorry’ and I do say it millions of times.
I do not download either music or movies for I don't know how to.
I don’t know how to hold grudges.
I love animals, mostly cats. Though, never would I become vegetarian in order to protect their lives. I simply don't think this is the way.
I don’t care for money.
I live in Caxias do Sul (Rio Grande do Sul state - Brazil), in a school painted yellow, blue, orange, and brown.
I don't correct all tests and compositions myself. For that, I've hired Vanessa - my caring secretary, helper, student, and friend.
I love working out but I'm very lazy.
I like autobiographies.
I hate knickknacks. I love Pollack.
I loathe washing dishes.
I sometimes need to be alone.
I hate soccer. I'd rather watch sepaktakraw.
I'd rather root for a hockey team.
I don’t know how to play cards.
I would love to know how to sing.
I would like to play softball.
I love Munch.
I drink too much coffee.
I don’t like air conditioner.
My mother says I am pretty crazy. My sisters say it too.
I’m gluttonous.
I hate baby blue and all pinks.
I love Clarice Lispector.
I know how to play the piano.
I play it terribly.
I have lovely hands. Unfortunately, I never have them manicured.
I've never watched "ET" but I've already watched the documentary "EARTHLINGS".
I collect self-portraits of myself.
I barely recognize people on the phone by their voices.
I can’t stand stinginess.
I hate Goddard.
I love Fassbinder.
I don't hate Mondrian.
I love Frida Kahlo.
I don’t like good taste.
I hate needles.
I am very hairy.
I love Gisele Büdchen.
I detest making beds. I love the feeling of having them made.
I love Camembert and Gouda cheese.
Fashion pretty much sucks, in my opinion.
I have never known what to say in the presence of celebrities.
My friends say I am a lot crazy.
No more desktop PCs for me. I have finally got a laptop of my own. My book writing process will be less traumatizing. Now I can type whenever and wherever I want to.
I have always been happily in love.
I love Marlon Brando, Brian Molko, Jake Gyllenhaal, and River Phoenix.
I love my father too. He's a freaking good grammarian.
I can’t live without make-ups.
I loathe Amélie Poulain.
I hate experimental art. I do believe this is a cheap excuse for poor art making and understanding.
I sleep less than I would like to.
I hate mystifyng people.
I don’t like trivial mysteries.
I despise phony people... well... not so much!
I love stripes.
I've already given shelter to trespassers and outcasts.
I’d already stopped eating meat, but not for too long.
I believe in many superstitions.
I like John Lydon.
I crave sushi and sashimi all the time.
I have already wanted to have children.
When I was a child, I loved birthday parties, not for the presents, but because I'd use the gift wraps to draw or write on them.
I don’t like TV.
I love my back.
I love laughing at myself.
I have a soft spot for junkies.
I love burgers.
While living in the US, I loved dining at Benningan's, Steak n' Shake, Outback Steakhouse, Applebee's, and Wendy's.
I hate hip hop celebrities.
My students say I am way crazy.
I despise people who take themselves too seriously.
I hate aristocrats.
I can’t live without Alfredo sauce.
I like to listen to New Order, Cure, Cocteau Twins, David Bowie, and Stoogies.
I am so not disciplined.
I truly want to visit Bangkok and Singapore.
I envy cats.
I love Fernando Pessoa.
I love hot bright colors.
I hate being tested in matters of fun, in account of stupidness.
I love Lebanese food.
I can’t stand malls and fashion designers' stores.
When I lived in Florida, I loved shopping at TJ Maxx, Staples, and Burdines.
I hate people fascinated by fame.
I love Sebastião Salgado's photos.
I want to write very simple and profound poems.
I want to know what life on this planet is for.
I love Andy Warhol.
I am very short.
I postpone very important decisions.
My shoe size is 36 (Brazil) and 5 1/2(USA).
I have an autograph by Hilary Swank. I met her in NYC.
I love wine.
I like I-dosers.
I've got two college degrees.
I make my living out of something I've never studied for.
I don’t know how to say about my feelings. I'd rather write it.
I love silent flicks.
I want to own many many colorful All Stars.
I love trying exotic food.
I love Mário Bortolotto.
I despise real or fake rich people who look down on others.
I love different shades of green.
I like Adidas shoes.
I love Paul Klee.
I love Kandinsky.
I always say "f#ck".
I really enjoy watching thriller movies.
I sleep in every weekend.
I am too much generous.
I love Rosa Parks.
I've already been on a TV cooking show. I made 'shepherd's pie'.
I’m mad about sunflowers.
I’ve been head over heels in love for seven years, and then, only then my feeling scattered away for some time...
I love Paulo Leminski.
I love Samuel Beckett.
I hate aestheticization.
I hate undue appraisal of folklore.
I like watching myself on video. I hate hearing my voice though.
I love Augusto dos Anjos.
I wish I had a lithography by Miró.
In winter, I never have dinner without wine.
In summer, I never have ice cream without hot fudge.
One day I shall have a llama.
I'd do barbaric things for a better digital camera.
People often say I am crazy.

Vitoria and Teacher's Photo

Editing home videos first trial...

My Chinese Friends

These are Madelene (the baby girl), my Chinese teacher Lucia (the baby's mother), and myself with redish face and eyes 'cause I had just arrived from a chilly and damp weather outdoors. Lucia is originally from Taiwan and has had the chance to live in many other countries such as Thailand, England and France.

I take Chinese lessons on Fridays. I've already learned how to sing a few traditional Chinese songs, how to greet and count till 1000, besides "drawing" the corresponding ideograms for those words and phrases. This is the first time I've ever tried to learn officially an oriental language. I guess I can say that I nail some Japanese for having worked at a Japanese restaurant for 4 1/2 years. There, I dealt with Japanese boss and co-workers. Learning some Japanese was quite a need. Now, it's Chinese time.

As I'm pretty honest, I can't disguise that I did better jobs while taking Spanish and German in the past. French was another language I've already studied but that one wasn't so easy either. I really had a hard time pronouncing those 'RRRRR's and writing with all those "apostrophed" contractions. These things made me insane for I gave up learning it at once. As a matter of fact, I happen to think that drawing Chinese ideograms are a lot simpler.

Now, frankly speaking, Chinese pronunciation is way damn difficult for me. It is made up out of vowels mainly and my mother tongue, which is Portuguese, is pretty much consonantal. Consequently, I have no parameters when trying to blurt some phonemes.

I have never thought of the true reason why I decided to start taking this language as it is quite difficult for me. But I wonder... Maybe it is because I needed to get in touch with a whole new ball game, as it'd be a challenge for myself. Even though it is an utter difficult thing, I'm so doing well with it.

Kiddos... The earmuffs are the best thing on this video!

Fun... At least, to me!

BOREDOM

Recently, I've been empty-minded for blog entries. Maybe this is because I have been reading more than actually writing on them. I've been also working like a dog, or like a bitch if you will. Lately, I've been watching trashy old creepy horror movies too. I can name a few: Evil Dead 1, 2, and 3, Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living Dead (69), The Return of the Living Dead (85), Carrie, The Exorcist 1, Dawn of the Dead (70's), and so forth. Horror and spycho-thrillers are definitely my number one flicks. Been boxing and losing weight, which is way cool. As it has been crazy cold these days, I decided to buy a nice handmade sweater and a new pair of jeans pants. I wore them both last Saturday, when I went to a funky birthday party: loud live music, liters of tequila, and McD's at 4:00 am. I've got also new All Stars for myself, red color this time. All these things are sounding pretty lame on a blog to me , and, I can't imagine how they'd be sounding to any other possible reader. I guess, people really look for authenticity while going through these web journals but I haven't been able to go really further than that. I can't quite say what is going on... Well, I'm not tired of blogging... The thing is that I just don't feel like writing about fantastical matters at the moment. I'd rather keep it substantial, just like it has been one more day in any person's life. I could write here about eating disorders, drinking issues, or sexual frustations that I might have... however, I would suck on that since I don't even care for those readings myself. How could I write about something that not even I would read? I'm a regular average common individual, period. Or as I normally say, elipsis...

I spill, I clean.
I rip, I sew.
I dump, I flush.
I eat, I pay.
I bore, I apologize.
I bitch, I regret.

That's pretty much who I am.

Loved this post...

I was flipping blogs after blogs and I luckily ran into this spot. On it, there was a picture of a cat which called my attention. After reading the post, I could learn it was called Jackie. The text is so sensitive and well written that I had to bring it to my own blogspot. Jackie definitely was the greatest pet ever.

"I know that this has nothing to do with cooking, but I just found out that my 21-year-old cat died when I was on vacation. I am very upset. She was a very good cat and I loved her very much, so I want to say something about her, because she had a very interesting life for a cat.

Jackie was born in April 1986, one of five kittens born to a three-legged stray cat that my family named Hissy (she was unfriendly and hissed at everyone). I named her Jackie, short for Jack-o-lantern, because she was a black cat with orange eyes, reminding me of pumpkins and Halloween. As a kitten, Jackie was very shy and unfriendly; she was the last of the five kittens that we were able to pet. Finally, though, she came around, although throughout her adult life she continued to be very nervous and extremely wary of strangers.

One Christmas night, I think in 1989, but I'm not sure, my mom let her outside for a bathroom break. She didn't come home that night, but that wasn't entirely unusual, so no one was worried. But then the next day, she still hadn't come back, and the day after that, and the day after that as well. Soon four weeks had passed, and we thought Jackie must be lost for good. But then one afternoon, five weeks after Jackie had gone missing, I came home from school, and both of my parents were home. Strange, my dad isn't usually home in the afternoon. They looked happy, and told me to go look in the kitchen. There was Jackie, lapping up milk from her little bowl! She was skin and bones now, her ribs showing, but she was alive! We guessed that she must have gotten locked in someone's garage and survived on water all that time.

As an adult, Jackie was tough, very muscular, and didn't get along with other cats well. She found her little niece annoying, and frequently scratched her nose.

As old age set in, Jackie mellowed out, learning to tolerate her niece, and even occasionally letting acquaintances pet her. She liked milk with her meals, and sleeping in the neighbor's backyard was a favorite pastime.

I feel bad because I usually make sure to pet my cats right before I leave for the airport, but this time I didn't, and now Jackie is gone. She liked to sit in my lap and purr, and I loved her."

Straight from the ocean top...

by Laila Chris
Day 1
The deep ocean bottom is unreachable for now.
Labor day, Mother's day, no special day... all suck at the moment
Can't say more 'cause nothing will come out
I'm destined to the quiet existence although I am not holding my yell
Here's the thing... well, maybe the thing is void

I am empowered to handle certain matters on my own as I see fit.
Or maybe not.
Won't soft-soap my virtues and it's possibly that I have none.
Am I panicking? Guess so!
I am terribly alarmed since I can't place a mask on my blank face

Day 2
Haven't reached the ocean bottom yet.
However, it is there where I'm heading to.
Fashion trends, adulthood manners, and traditional standards... all really suck
Meanwhile, I dive down and check seahorses, jelly fish, and my individuality being soaked in blood disolved in water

I am assigned to deal and use foul language as I see fit.
Or maybe not. Am I panicking? Guess not!
I won't mind black looks and won't ever care about all those prudes.
But I'm awfully in grief as I haven't found the mask to fully cover up my sadness

...to be continued

The truth hurts sometimes!

Self-Portrait and Poetry Tuesday...

IMPRESSIONS
by Lisa Zaran

I have forced nothing out of my life
except love
and its ten thousand variations.

I bleed on nobody's carpet
except my own
which I dyed red just for this purpose.

I want nothing from you
except you
and every skeletal bone from your past.

I want your present too
and your future and your death
so that I may be the one

to carry you into the next life.

I want to be laid beside you
in a grave below roots and detection
in the same coffin

so that we can be put to rest
front to front, our mouths touching.

This is NOT a "meh" video... I hope!

Straight from Oompaland...

There...

Last week, I had an epiphany! It was not a divine manifastation per se, it was just an insight on the things I had been missing out. I have completely convinced myself that this year will be 'da year'. I won't think and rethink too much about some of my wills.

I'd said that I wouldn't keep being sedentary anymore... and that is why I took the chance of taking up boxing. I've been enjoying it way way much. This sport was totally made for me.

While paying for lunch at a Chinese place, I noticed a brochure of a Chinese language school lying on this restaurant counter. I love languages and have always tried to learn several... So I thought: "Why not one more?" I started my Chinese course two weeks ago and I'm already having a blast with it.

Another thing, I got this sudden urge of getting a short haircut. I looked everywhere at all girls and women in this country and I figured that they all have the same hairstyle. I was not born to look the same - so so so sorry! It's trimmed down above the shoulders with assimetric layers... My hair is more like me that it has ever been (The picture shows my hair not the way I actually style it... my camera battery needs recharging!).

The last will is getting a tattoo. I've already decided on the drawing but not where to place it on my body. That'll I leave it for later. It's holiday in Brazil - I've got to celebrate it by doing nothing on the couch - except for watching a movie and having wine(colder temperatures have knocked on my door, finally).

PS: I don't know why this got posted twice.

And this was the way I woke up this morning...

...crooked jaw and shorter hair!
I've already fixed my jaw... Can't say the same about the hair

Last week, I had an epiphany! It was not a divine manifastation per se, it was just an insight on the things I had been missing out. I have completely convinced myself that this year will be 'da year'. I won't think and rethink too much about some of my wills. If I really want to do something that might sound crazy, I will do it no matter what...

I'd said that I wouldn't keep being sedentary anymore... I had already mentioned it countless times. I've found a great small gym near my place that offers all kinds of workouts. That is why I took the chance of taking up boxing. It's been almost two months of practice. I've been enjoying it way way much. This sport was totally made for me.

While paying for lunch at a Chinese place next to my house too, I noticed a brochure of a Chinese language school lying on this restaurant counter. I love languages and have always tried to learn several of them... So I thought: "Why not one more?" I started my Chinese course two weeks ago and I'm already having a blast with it.

Another thing, I got this sudden urge of getting a short haircut. I looked everywhere at all girls and women in this country and I figured that they all have the same hairstyle. I was not born to look the same - so so so sorry! It's trimmed down above the shoulders with assimetric layers... My hair is more like me that it has ever been (The picture on this post shows my hair not the way I actually style it... my camera battery needs recharging!).

The last will is getting a tattoo. I've already decided on the drawing but not where to place it on my body. That one I'll leave it for later. Today is holiday in Brazil - I've got to celebrate it by doing nothing on the couch - except for watching a movie and having wine(colder temperatures have knocked on my door, finally).

Damn that I can't go out for now... still waiting for some guys to get our new gate installed.

Smile, babe

Gotta smile. Oughtta do it more often. Do it! Do it! Do it and don't ask why!
It's hard being a teacher. I am aware that this statement is way obvious yet only could I realize the obviousness of it this week. I was literally harassed by a student of mine last Monday. It wasn't easy to go through humiliation and all. I won't tell details of that circumstance because I am to forget it though. I just can say that I've got to teach a troublemaker that I wish I didn't. What's left to do is get over it. What's left to do is get over it without turning a blind eye on it. I am definitely communicating that student's parents. I am absolutely answering it back. And then, only then I'll smile to my victory. Fuck yeah!

A Perfect Sunday Sounds Like This...

Easter, Movies and Photos

Easter is a traditionally boring holiday in my deepest sense. It's been a long time that that loser Easter Bunny does not communicate well with me. You know what? I am actually lucky since I am not very crazy about chocolate and all.

According to my family's belief I was not supposed to eat meat last Friday. I had chicken parmeggiana and a wonderful carbonara pasta as a side dish. Then, as I left a restaurant I went to on Easter Sunday, I got bitten by a mysterious insect and my right hand started swelling this morning... I wonder if that is a way Jesus has found to punish me for having eaten chicken on a Good Friday.

The weekend was a bit longer as I didn't work on both Friday and Saturday. I watched and rewatched several movies such as The Scent of a Woman, Barfly, Aviator, Lost in Translation, and Taxi Driver. "Aviator" and "Lost in Translation" were my very first timers and the others were seen for the Gizillionth time.

Except for the Leo DiCaprio's flick, the remaining ones had one thing in common: FLATTEN IMAGES. People were standing not too far from the cameras with harsh light-dark contrasts... I felt as I was watching a collection of old photos. I care for those subtle things in movies. Those weekend films reminded me of dowloading "Sid and Nancy." Not that this Alex Cox's movie is a subtle production, it is in fact filled with grainy images that for sure enrich the documentarylike feature that that movie has got.

On the other hand, Roberto felt like watching "300" at the theater. I know it sure is a terrific epic with outstanding war scenes however I am not quite fond of those huge films. I could not go, period. I have already seen a few war movies that I ended up enjoying a great deal which were Gladiator, Apocalypse Now, Jarhead, and some others that I can't remember their titles in English, however these were unique films and they don't quite tell stories of wars.

Besides movies, I've had some fun modeling for Carla Kuse, a student of mine who happens to be begining on photography field, she'd asked me to pose for her and for sure the answer would not be "NO". Here I'm posting some of my favorites...


My Swollen fingers can't be seen on those photos... relief!

One more "Poetry Tuesday"

i carry your heart with me
by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Self-portrait Tuesday and Poetry

EDEN REVISITED

at a secret moment of space
close to the invisible gate
we take off everything on us

our garments

our masks

our skins

our senses and souls

take all off, until we take off
our very selfhoods
just to have a peep
into the green fields
where adam and eve started
to cover their private parts

by Changming Yuan