Thursday, May 26, 2005

"OUI" or "NON" ... ... ... ... ... who's majority?

You are undoubtedly pathetic if you answer "yes" to most of this queries:

1) Do you drive listening to loud music at the top volume even early in the morning, even getting to the surroundings of hospital, funeral homes, and residential areas?

2) Have you ever cheated on a test, was caught but blamed on someone else or said you were NOT doing it, instead you were actually lending your mate's eraser?

3) Have you ever stepped your toes on loads on the floor that pet's loser owners left on the streets and sidewalks aiming that someone else would pick those up for them (miracles can happen all the time, especially in Christian countries)? Have you ever been a victim of those public washrooms that do not offer toilet paper? Have you ever sold something and never get the money for? Have you ever been a victim of slanders? Have you ever felt invencible? Have you ever gone through any of these things and have never complaint, nearly realize the gravity of those situations???

4) If you smoke, do you throw cigarette butts through car windows? If you drink canned sodas, will you throw them through the windows too? If you have sexual intercourse in those vehicles, do you throw used condoms on the streets too?

5) Have you ever looked down on people because they:
  • were handicapped,
  • were disabled,
  • had mental disorders,
  • were not as wealthy as you,
  • were Republican,
  • had not the same skin color as you,
  • seemed to speak with accent,
  • or did not dress according to your morals and standards?

6) Do you disrespect those who are elderly or too young to understand that they're just too eager to be mature?

7) Do you dishonor all those who pray for all other Gods rather than yours, even though you know that these people's gods are many and these religious figures (so-called GODS) can be anything or anyone but the One you truly believe that exists. The one you feel it is out there somewhere to comfort you, to protect you, and has a name, and a book which tells fantastic stories about him?

8) Did you vote for Bush? Did you buy the latest Britney Spears album? Did you believe she was virgin after all? All that you knew about the world history is that there was a COLD WAR going on back then? Were you a leftist when you were in college? Did you do cocaine in the 70's? Did you wear shoulder pads in the 80's? Did you like TITANIC, BODY GUARD, and GREASE? Did you smoke POT for the very first time listening to Bob Marley? Did you think that I am here questioning yourself of all that because I had nothing else better to do???

9) Have you lost hope in humankind?

10) Do you think it is utterly cool to take advantage of everyone you know especially when they are: your friends, workmates, neighbors, gas station clerks, bosses, flirts, street vendors, soulmate, offsprings, relatives, clients, customers, tax payers/tax collectors, supermarket cashiers, tourists, believers, children, and those folks who make their living dressing up as Santa Claus every single Christmas???

Well, if you're answer was mostly "YES" , you are expected to seek professional help to allow you release a little of that pathetical being you have been keeping inside of you... And being honest with you... being a human naturally makes you a pathetic individual. So, go for it and struggle to be a worthwhile pathetic person.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

DECEMBER 2002

I'm a crazy individual and everyone has already realized that. One way to prove my insanity is by checking this blog out. Go ahead! See it for yourself.

You may notice that I make use of this ciberspace in a very unique form. I post what I feel like. I publish song lyrics, pictures of my cat, even shitty poetry that I create myself. Nothing biggy, let's say! Oh, well... who cares if I am not following the correct procedures of a real blogger. What means to be a blogger anyway?

As far as I know, a blogger is a person who owns a blog... so the new question should be "what the hell is a blog then?" I've found a cute answer on a site that I unfortunately can not remember its URL: "well a blog, as i said, is a web log and its uses are limited only by your imagination. for instance, in its simplest form you might use a blog as an online diary that you update each day so that you share your "daily life" with others, or perhaps you could use a blog as an integral part of a website such as a "what's new?" page or indeed any other page that you need to update frequently. the possibilities of what you might use it for are endless."

By following that definition, I may as well try to use this spot of mine creatively or not, free from standards or generalizations... If you have already found bizarre stuff in here, so you have probably seen old posts that I publish some e-mails or letter that I once sent or I have ever received from distant friends or family members. On this post, I won't do differently. I will publish today an e-mail that I've sent to all my USA friends and acquaintances... It was fun to have encountered this short memory draft of a time that our real adult lives in Brazil had just started... Back in December 2002

" Hello Everyone back in the USA. Well, we've been away for quite some time without any word, so we figured it was long overdue to catch all of you up on a few things, as your e-mails have been rolling in something to the effect of: "it's been ages since the last e-mail, “what the hell is going on?!"... and so forth and so on... Here are some news...

Just wanted you to know we’ve been sequestering ourselves. It’s time to really work hard and there’s nothing else left to do. Except that we go out for dinner once in while. As we used to do back in the USA. Forgive us for not getting back in touch with all of you sooner.

Hope you're still there for us and haven't given up our friendship!

As I mentioned, we’ve been working really hard here with this incredible project. Our English school is getting known and our work has been compensated. Regarding my communications career, I’ve also done a lot of stuff, but unfortunately with not much headway, but lots of great ideas stored on CD-ROMs and such.

I am having a terrific time as being a teacher. My students are all special to me. Roberto and I have learned a lot about this kind of business and we can’t hide our complete satisfaction!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you all are missing us the same way we are missing you. I often dream of Saint Pete and Tampa streets and avenues. Luckily, we have our loved ones much closer, something that would never happen back in the USA. Besides, this crazy country would rather create enemies than anything else... Therefore I don’t want to go there now!

It really takes time to get used to our new place. Everything is so different from what we have seen. For instance, today is being one of the coldest day of the year. People are all dressed up in heavy coats and scarfs – It kinda looks awkward to me but it’s the weather thing. Here, it rains constantly and the green fields become even greener with so much moisture and glazes. The landscape is one of a kind view!!!!!!! I am not going to get started with the food... There are D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S Italian and German places in this area. You all must come and check them out. We will be waiting for your visit. This is an official invite.

The best of the best regards to you all
Love
Laila & Roberto"

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

calm water coming down in a lazy afternoon


I love when the day is rainy
I love when I get to run into people I care
I love when there is wine with every meal
I love when my song is played loud
I love when I don't feel fat
I love when my time isn't short, my hair falls straight, my mouth is kept shut, and my problems are none
I love when I get presents and when my friendships are true
I love giving out uplifting words
I love when my hatred is null
I love when my sex isn' t dull
I love when I write and when I write I say what I deeply relish to say
I love when I surprise
I love when I am understood
I love hate even though hate does not love me
I love the beauty of obvious chores
I love the color of goodness even when its color turns invisible
I love right thoughts
I'd have loved myself being lefthanded
I love laughing at myself
I love pets, cats most of all, and the way their fur feels when it's touched
I love dirty language, clean bathrooms, calm water, and cool steel
I love when a baby child smiles at me and also when these tinny little individuals hold my index finger grabbing it with all their five little ones.
I love cushions,foggy landscapes, butterflies in the stomach, popcorn, smell of brand-new books, bread with whipped butter, recovered files, arrival flights, mac&cheese, encyclopedias, scented candles, psycho-thrillers, laminated flashcards, fresh-brewed coffee, fireplace, Googone, barbecue sauce, brownie sundae, lazy afternoons, and so much more stuff that I could continue naming them here forever...
Not being loved that much helped me list things I love
Not being loved as much as I wanted reminded me of all the things that are loveable.... oops, I almost forgot...
I love being me too


Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Pawnshop Project

After having this chat with a dear friend on msn, I felt like posting some of my own poems that are being saved in a file called THE PAWNSHOP, because it all started from an idea of having this sort of poetry book... These are some of them that I hadn't showed to anyone, or I only read or e-mailed to close friends...
________________________________________________

Metro-man

Façade
Façade
Façade

Perfect hair do
Whitened teeth
Hairless face
Nails manicured
Spotless shirt
Pressed pants
Shiny shoes
Fragrant individual

Facial skin deep cleaning
Worries about postures
Preoccupations with voice timbre
Articulated multi-lingual hand-picked vocabulary
Superficial slow motion uptight carrier pursuit

No inner-feelings
Heartless dates
Meaningless sex
Impeccable meeting presentations
Almost two Eye-brows
Self-help literature
MBA/CEO/MSN/NASDAQ
IBM/I-POD/business card
Corporate speak

Façade
Façade
Façade
Façade

Metro-man (American-Psycho)

____________________________________

What a Place


The world wasn’t reinvented
This place seems too wide to live in
…and just too small to dream of
Water, earth, fire, dirt, and blood
Poor human structures
Strong greedy perspectives
Natural born destroyers
Infected brains
Blocked noses
Dirty lungs
Rotten thoughts
Love human beings
Love being human
Wait!
Can’t say that.
How could I ever say that?

There is no room to everyone
There is no comfort in all places
There are no guarantees
Uncertainty there is.
Confused now?
What about purity?Sterling rhymes?
A big old nothing…
The world wasn’t reinvented
The senior planet in going to an end

We are sparkles of a second
A fraction of a snap
A sad consequence of a fruitless explosion
Randomly humans

Insane I’ll be getting
For not seeing reasons
Purposes
Explanations
Just confusions
No introductions
Forget conclusions
Only means
Only pain
Only in vain
Flavorful pity
Pity myself
Pity everyone else as well
A big old woolen ball

What a place!
_______________________________________

SYMBIOSIS



First of all
I’ve got to say sorry
For a I left the room

Secondly
I’d like to conclude
My last thought

We’re meant
To be connected
We’re meant to create
A fusion of aesthetics

Can’t say how
Can’t say when
Even if I could
It doesn’t really matter now
Because I can’t say it all alone

As in literature,
As in visual,
Or sound making process
The basis must be built
On hard soil
Structured with spotless walls

Independent, but co-related
Absurd and surreal,
Genial and marginal
Outrageous and magical
Post-modern after all

Clear, abstract
Nobel, symbiotic
Shocking and vicious
Serious and hilarious
Concrete and pernicious

Original and reinvented
Divine and demented



Friday, April 29, 2005

TRADITIONAL PARTIES CAN GET TOO IRRATIONAL

I never understood why there are jerks who travel all the way to Brazil to enjoy our CARNIVAL!!!

Carnival is a typical Brazilian thing when people are led to the streets to see out there parades, get wasted, and listen to live loud music performances. Everyone is supposed to dress up in costumes, put on masks if they will. They may wear wigs and even become androgenous figures if that suits them since the spirit of the party is to get out of control.

As I am not fond of these kinds of parties, when it gets to carnival season, I normally stay home having my hot herbal tea, sitting on my leather couch, glancing at the parades on TV filled with those naked tramps shaking their asses and showing their boobies hanging (I know someone who would strongly enjoy this.)

The fact that I don't like carnival and being a Brazilian citizen make me look weird among the folks down here. I don't really care about this in part because I am pretty much confident and also because I have got my personal reasons to dislike this so-called cultural event.

I remembered when I was first sent to a carnival ball (let me call that mess this way). My mom took me to this crowded place filled with so many idiots of all ages and races. Some of them seemed to be drunk, others seemed to suffer from epilepsy on their hips, and others looked like having cat allergy for rubbing their nose frenetically. To me, they were a bunch of imbecils dressed in funny clothes, dancing in circles as they were mice in a maze. That's how I saw them, taking into consideration that I was only 4 at that time.

My mom also got me a strange outfit which had a little kid's umbrella as an accessory. Besides looking just like the other idiots of that place, I had to carry that umbrella around wherever I went. That was a huge pain because I had trouble holding both the accessory and a cup of soda, and let me not forget, I was also carrying a munch that was bought from those suspicious club cafeterias. Mom had the wittiest idea, "hang your umbrella, sweety, onto this chair." Fine! The place was very stuffy, so the cold soda gave me a relief.

The music sounded insane. Those carnival marchs played by a poor-sounding orchestra started getting on my nerves. I was only 4, I insist, but I was old enough to distinguish between good musicians and crap asshole losers trying to make their living out of something it wasn't made for them. I was too young, too short, too embarassed to get in the mood for a hectic non-sense party: "what are these people so happy about?", I would ask myself that question many times.

I hadn't noticed that everything was going smoothly so far, until the moment my mom decided to push me to the crowd. She would say "Join them. Dance, honey. We are here to party, not to keep staring at them..." Gee, they were just like starving lions and I felt like a pound of fresh sirloin steak. I figured out:"nay-nay."I prayed so she wouldn't try again but then, a friend of mom grabbed me in the arm and dragged me to the crowd.

At the exact moment she did that, my hair got stuck in the wires of my little umbrella which was leaning against that empty chair mom had asked me to hang that stuff on, and not less ironically, the handle of the umbrella that had a hook-like shape embraced another chair. So picture that folks: a stupid middle-aged female human being had been pulling an innocent tot with non-well combed straight long hair stuck on a kid's umbrella hooked on those cheap plastic chairs for ten minutes going in circles in a crowd of hungry lions listening to horsecrap carnival music... yewf!


After that year, there were a few more intents to participate in such event, with some successful ventures I may say, but those were the years that I was reaching the youth times in my life. I had other purposes but being amused by freakos shaking their booties...

Curiosity fact - For those who may care, my scalp wound did not require any reconstruction surgery!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Why is that needed to be a secret???

While a student is taking his English test, I have decided to start my post on this cold damp Friday evening. Last Thursday was holiday in Brazil. It's a day when we remember a historical individual who was chopped off publicly by the Portuguese monarchy back in the 19Th century. His name was Tiradentes. He had envisioned Brazil as a free country, not a colony of Portugal. His ideas derivated from the French Revolution and they ignited a process that years later the entire country embraced.

Well, the holiday is officially over and I am back to teaching. I taught way too many classes for a day past holiday and touching the beginning of a weekend. At least, I am feeling a little less tired than I am usually in regular weeks. Having had Thursday off was a bless. Thanks Tiradentes for having been killed on an April 21st.

I seem to be dwelling and not getting to any point. What am I trying to reach with these words? Is my mind running on lameness today? I guess the answer is 'yes'. However, I haven't had those boring days lately. In fact, it's been the opposite of that. Let's take the Sunday before last as an example. That was a pretty intense day.

Maybe it wouldn't be a great idea to confess what it had happened to me then. Anyhow, I can say that I took the right decision not to argue over that. I took the right decision by not overreacting either. I took the wrong decision to let it happen. And that's all I can say. You may be questioning yourselves: "what is this chick talkin' about?" Well, this is where I was heading. I aim not give any more clues about this fateful event. I will leave it in the air because it was something too personal, too disastrous, too embarrassing, and not worthwhile sharing with everyone else on this spot of the web.

I may be acting in a contradictory standard now. If it is none of everyone else's business, why am I writing about it in here? The answer is quite simple. I have been having a lame day, with lame ideas, and lacking creativity in my words. Sorry readers! Forgive me up front! I will accept speculations about the event because that might spice up this post a bit. Perhaps, that's what I first intended with this entry. So... C'mon... Get started!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Mild Soap Opera

I am writing this entry sitting on the toilette of my bathroom. No, no, I do not own a laptop computer, and I don't even have those cute Apple notebooks. I just have this sweet writing pad in the shape of a binder wrapped with a green leather-like plastic that I bought at Office Depot(one of my favorite spots to shop when I used to live in the USA)in 2002.

I take this little green binder along wherever I go because being a writer, I understand that we never know when the greatest ideas may show up.

Right at this moment, I am forcing my brain to dump a load of words and make them look like cool sentences. I am not sure that I am getting there, however the silence and coldness of bathrooms can take me to distant realms and from there I can bring out fun topics, sometimes draw real characters with stinky features.

What had I never understood was the reason why there are people who don't consider writing as their main way to communicate. I have difficulties in expressing myself through spoken words. I don't enjoy much talking, especially after extra-busy weekdays (full-time classes and two tough translations). The words barely come out of my throat.

These days I have preferred to keep myself secluded in a bathroom, just like now, grabbing a pen and this magical green binder. Me, myself, and my intestinal contents, building blocks of ideas, or poems per se.

As I check out my surroundings, I see that in each corner of all rooms in my place, dust is being accumulated which I consider my errors. My faulty life being kept aside, never swept off, never squeegeed, and polluting my consciousness.

So, I have intended to clean up these spots today. Taking away my mistakes... They are now being washed with warm water and mild soap. Then I will bleach the stains so that they can be removed once and for all. My guilty feelings are going to come off like chewing gums stuck on jeans pants being rubbed by an ice cube.

Wipe it off, flush them down, and head to the computer (with washed and towel-dried hands!)

PS - No one has tried to touch my binder, I just wonder why!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

DIMANCHE


Domingo - Sunday in my language: PORTUGUESE!!!
This has been the only day I can really relax and do nothing. Regardless, I hate Sundays though. That's the only day I can go out and have fun sometimes, but like in any other Christian country, every store and even restaurants close on this damn day. How can I like Sunday if that's the day that the entire world wants to stay home, meet their relatives and watch stupid TV???

I don't have anything against my relatives. But, let's face it, RELATIVES can be a real pain in the neck occasionally because you don't get to choose them. They come in a kit, in a surprise box - you are born and all of a sudden you encounter cousins, uncles, aunts, even brothers and sisters!!! Lucky me I am the oldest, so when I was born there were no weirdos in my bedroom, old strange folks telling me what to do and how to act... yew!!! HEHEHEHE!!!

Well, the point is that on Sundays we are to meet them. Most of everybody is expected at their in-laws' places to have lunch, sometimes even to go to church, or to attend those one-year birthday parties - DAMN!!! Why do those wealth rich moms set up those expensive and fancy parties to kids who can barely pronounce their names...??? They are not even sure whether they are humans or just pets. Well, well, well, strange human beings.

Here I am on a Sunday afternoon, sipping wine, listening to downloaded indie rock bands, correcting my students' posts for their blog (readers, check their writings there too:
http://pinkandbluefreedom.blogspot.com/
). I truly enjoyed this week's topic and I think they did too.

SUNDAY!!! DIMANCHE!!! DOMINGO!!! SONNTAG!!! No relatives around to visit. No cool TV shows to watch. Just a plain afternoon with a chilling atmosphere... wow! That's what I like it, although I HATE Sundays!!!


Laila loves Mondays, hates Sundays and thinks Saturdays are TOO DAMN short...

Sunday, April 3, 2005

In the mood for red and true friendship

Hope everybody's fine. Don't even know if I have regular readers, anyway. I must start from somewhere, mustn't I?

My template had always had that solid black background. I kinda got tired of it and so it was an easy and quick decision to turn all out RED. "What a bloody colour"! - My british friends would say. Today I feel like talking about friendship, kindness, and things that help us, human beings, have some softer one-on-one socializing experiences.

As being a teacher, I have to deal with kid and adult students at all times. I try to place a sincere smile on my face while teaching or just conversing with them. I may not be in a great mood every day, however I don't think it's fair to them to show disrespect or look down on their failures and difficulties when they appear. That would be a way too easy job.

On the other hand, there is every now and then a chance of encoutering folks that are not that kind to me. Students that act a little stuck up, boring faces, and showing a fake smile typical from a two-faced person. The reasons are unknown and I, particularly, don't want to know them at all. What's to worry if there are other folks that fulfill in me the emptiness that distant friends left in my bloody heart.

The friends/students I am talking about are Vinícius and Katiane. These kids are just fun intelligent young buddies. I nowadays teach them only once a week, which is a pity, because I'd rather see them more times throughout the week. They respect me as a teacher and I care for them as friends. They are great and very understanding. This post is for them.

Hope you two read this text and enjoy it as much as I did writing it. What I say here is very true. I am darn happy to be teaching folks just like you guys are. Please, continue being these good people and filled with so good manners as you both have been. Besides, both are curious learners who care about getting the right information and really wish to be talking and understanding English perfectly. What else could I ask???

CURIOSITY FACT:
After the photo shoots, Vini had gotten strong cat allergy which promoted watery and itchy eyes. Promptly, we provided him eyedrops to make his eyes more clear. The red in the template background was to remind you about that too... hehehehe! SORRY DUDE [;)]

Saturday, April 2, 2005

In honor to my occupation

Wow! How long has it been that I don't have a quiet second to myself? I might sound lame because I have worked, worked, and worked.

What else is new to my life? Dunno. Maybe the fact that I am about to walk on my own path using my own efforts, and most of all I will be soon choosing my own directions???

The thing is that financially I am doing much better off these days, and mostly all my worries will be soon away. Apparently, there is nothing to worry about and simultenously eveything is all about worries.

Since now we have gotten an excellent number of students in my school, now I must be more than careful in how to maintain them happy and in constant growing learning process.

How to achieve that? By being frequently aware and non-stoppingly curious so that I must be asking them all about their needs, disappointments, and satisfactions regarding our school and methodologies.

I am happy with my profession and I just wonder who couldn't be fulfilled by working with young people, fun folks who are still so filled with dreams, loveable stories, hopefulness, and touching smiles???

Love being a teacher and forever I will always feel complete because of my students.

I'M A BLACK HOLE



It’s been nothing else, but fear
Is there still some hope?
Is there any possibility of changes…
My heart, aching and my back, bouncing…
Scattered memories hold my fingers
A dark cloud with no silver lining
Pores, scars, dirt
Worm, veins, and rotten feelings
I’m a black hole
Filled with pus
I’m a cancer, a brain tumor
No words to describe
What and how worse can this get?
Focus on duty
Locus is nowhere
That’s a way to get over this.
Will I ever be free again?
Will I ever be me?

Monday, March 28, 2005

Pieces of My Unconsciousness

CAREFULLY COOL DOWN THE GUTS
POSSESSIVES NOUNS VERBS
COMMUNICATIVE TALKATIVE EASYGOING
NEVERTHLESS WHATSOEVER
PLAYGROUND BLOOD STREAM CARETAKER LOVELY
SENSITIVENESS HEADLIGHTS CORTESY
HOMEFUL HANDFUL
ANTHENNAS SATELLITES ROUTERS
EARTHWORMS CANDIDATES BOTTLED SUCCESS
TRUFFLES BITTERNESS FRUITLESS
CURVES BRAINCELLS NUMBNESS
CONTRARY ANALYSIS DIVINITY PINK SKY
SHADOWS NIGHTMARES DARKNESS GUTURAL
SANITARY FORCING TEMPTING SPINAL CHORD
MORTGAGE STUDENTS' LOAN PRAXIS END

Sunday, March 20, 2005

How to show that you love what you do!!!

Hey there!
I haven't posted anything new for a long long time. As I said in my last post, my days are shorter and my spare time inexistente. So, it is getting harder and harder to update my blog. Although, I do not use it to register my daily routines or to overshow my personal things. This spot wasn't intended to be about ME, it's dedicated to things I like or even love!
Today, I have found the need to talk about my profession itself. Especially, I have been teaching great folks who boost my energy towards compentence and great reasonigns. My students are my powerful "pills" to keep my mood up. They are too special to me and to our school. They are assorted - different ages and backgrounds- but they have something in common: they all love English and love being taught by us (pbf teachers).
This January, I had gone through an exquisite experience. Something that I had never imagined it would happen to me. In a calm afternoon, someone calls me. It was one of my students' grandmother. Well, maybe she needed a translation to be done. In fact, what she wanted was greater than that. She called me to ask if I could anticipate this year's class start. And I asked why??? The answer surprised me the most.
Her granddaughter (MARIANA) and her granddaugther's friend (MARCELE) couldn't wait any longer to get started at their English course. They were more than ready to be here in our school learning and enhancing their language skills. I couldn't think twice - I announced to both parents that English classes could start even prior regular school schedules.
Down below you can see them. My sweetest young students who always do their homework, who always struggle to get the best grades, who are doing their best they can to become great English speakers, and who are everyday doing their best to overcome all learning difficulties.

I love you two - MARIANA and MARCELE

Monday, March 7, 2005

WELCOME TIBBY TO OUR HOME!!!!


THIS IS TIBBY FARINELLI


This is Tibby! She was born two months ago and now lives with us.
I hope our friendship works fine, even though I've notice in me clear evidence of strong cat allergy. I am typing this with runny nose, puffy eyes and itchy hands.... Oh L-o-r-d!!!

PS: That picture above is one of her latests. She's today "one year and a half old."

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Back to full-time work...

I certainly miscalculated my schedule today. I started an email to a friend saying exactly that. These days I feel needed to write an introspective kind of post. It has been a while I don't put words together in order to speak my mind. Today is probably the right time.

After meeting a new friend through the web, we have known each other for almost six months now, I figured that it is possible to construct a deep friendship by this cold medium. However, things can get a bit disturbed when mixed up feelings show up. My point is, I do consider this person a truly friend of mine although "internet" relationship seems too unreal.

Let me be more clear. I am an open-minded person, oh well, at least I try to be, and that estimulates in me to be a good listener. I listen, listen, and listen. Most of my online friends are books that I can read, scan, upload on the web, and print them out to read them all over again. I don't really mind about this. In fact, that inspires me to come up with characters when it comes to my fiction writings. Then you might think, "Man, she's exposing them in her texts!" I would say "no" to that. Normally, artists do not even use their real names on the cover of their books sometimes...

I wouldn't ever expose anyone. I wouldn't ever look down on anyone. I wouldn't ever judge any individual by his/her own words. Those are simple words. Above all, some stories may not even be true.


However, I consider myself a bit lucky to have encountered intense people, with lifestyles that are absolutly different from mine. That's actually amazing and fullfilling to me. Then, I am writing all this "shitty" post to let them know, if by any chance they end up reading it, that I care for them as I care for everybody who respects HUMAN NATURE.

Being back to the ground reality, I will soon be found overwhelmed and under stress because of all classes which will start this Monday. I will be hopefully blogging once a week. I don't truly believe that I have any frequent reader, however I must apologize for any possible delay.

If you're reading this post not knowing who I am, not having a dust of idea of what I do for a living, you may learn that I teach English to Brazilian kids and adults too. My husband and I own a language school (pbf) that it is located in one of the major cities of the south of Brazil. This place is called Caxias do Sul and the school is known as PBF - an acronym that means PINK AND BLUE and FREEDOM.

A new season has just started for schools, colleges, and universities in Brazil. Our students will be back to their classes in the morning, afternoon, evening... Tests, exercises, compositions, fun acitivities will be in my mind throughout the semester. Lucky me if I don't get sick. Lucky me if my new students are just great individuals as they all have been. I say a prayer for good times and not so hot days like the last few months. Drought and dry weather are emptying the local rivers and lakes of this region. I just feel sorry for the vinyards which cover the hills of this place so-called SERRAS GAÚCHAS!!!

Well, I deliberately escaped from the topic I first started writing about. Honestly, I didn't want to say much of it, just wanted to be straight to my point. That is normally hard to me, anyway. I know. Please, it's not that difficult to forgive me, coz I am this type of person who spends half of his/her precious time in a certain place known as the TWILIGHT ZONE - my friend, d'you know what I am talking about???

FRIENDS from all these parts of this planet: JAPAN (Yayoi, Yuitichiro, Naomi), MOROCCO (Nadia, Zak, Naima), USA (Melissa, Candy), FRANCE (Marceau, Alex, Guillaume), VENEZUELA (Luiza, Afonso), KOREA (Joon, Yup, Sanghee Lee),Taiwan (Shuping), THAILAND (Toyota, Joon), SWITZERLAND (Rolland, Cédric), MEXICO (Margarito, Fernando), HOLLAND (Hans), SAUDI ARABIA (Ahmed, Nasser, Faissal), URUGUAY (Ariel), ECUADOR (Eddy), PANAMA (Porfírio, Gallo), BOSNIA (Amir), BULGARIA (Antonia), CROATIA (Davor), RUSSIA (Regina), BARBADOS (Andrew), PHILIPPINES (Ben), VIETNAN (Phong), INDIA (Apuh), SPAIN (Javier, Manuel), CÓTE D'IVOIRE (Jean), SOUTH AFRICA (Jennifer), ARGENTINA (Marina), and BRAZIL (Wow, so many...) ->

You all had better know that I dearly care for all of you so much from the deep inside of my soul... And, don't take me too seriously when I cross the line or when I seem not to have enough patience with you. I do want and enjoy listening to your words of experience. I will definetely continue being all ears, just not as often as I used to during the last two months...


LOTSA LUV and WISH THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Poetry by Pessoa

Meantime
by FERNANDO PESSOA

Far away, far away,
Far away from here...
There is no worry after joy
Or away from fear
Far away from here.
Her lips were not very red,
Not her hair quite gold.
Her hands played with rings.
She did not let me hold
Her hands playing with gold.
She is something past,
Far away from pain.
Joy can touch her not, nor hope
Enter her domain,
Neither love in vain.
Perhaps at some day beyond
Shadows and light
She will think of me and make
All me a delight All away from sight.

Understanding Greek Theater

I will post here a paper I wrote about GREEK TRAGEDIES AND COMEDIES to a college course called "WESTERN HUMANITIES I" at Saint Petersburg College.

"Greek plays or dramas (tragedy and comedy) were a single performance in theaters (arenas) at Athens, spoken and acted by costumed actors and in part sung by a chorus of dancers to the music of a piper. The theaters were mostly located in places called AGORA. In this research paper, we are going to discuss the main elements of the Greek tragedy and comedy and its universality/contribution in arts and scholars of all times.

Theater as we know it in the West today was invented in Ancient Greece, in classical Athens more specifically. The zenith of the Greek Theater coincides with the great moment of its democracy and military power in the fifth century BC. After defeating the Persians in 460 BC approximately, the Greeks developed senses of competitiveness and rivalry.

In 534 BC, the Athenian tyrant Pisistratus founded the festival of the City Dionysia (or also called The Great Dionysia), one of the most popular events, whose main purpose was the presentation of plays and dithyrambs as a sacred competition. Competitive athletic sports and games were also Greek inventions at that time. The play-festivals served as a device for defining Athenian civic identity, which meant exploring, questioning and confirming what it was to be a citizen of a democracy.

The culture of Athens during the Classic period may be viewed as a “performance culture”.
In the Dionysia and Lenea festivals there was competition both between the plays or rather groups of plays. Comedies as well as tragedies were performed publicly in local theaters. The Greek plays of the fifth century (BC) were very directly part of a rite, acts of worship offered to a mysterious power. The Greek god Dionysus was this power. He was evoked and even animals were sacrificed to his worship. In Greek mythology, Dionysus was the god of wild and uncontrolled ecstasy. He is too considered more specifically the God of wine. Perfection was the goal of classical Greek art.

Tragedy also reached its great moment in Greece. It was originated from Epic and Lyric poetry, dominant literary forms of artistic expressions from the late archaic age. With the rising of the democratic spirit and changes in the polis, epics were transferred to the stages, featuring the Greek tragic theater.

“The tragedies were primarily based on the legends of royal families – usually the dynasties of Thebes, Sparta and Argos – dating from the Age of Heroes of which Homer sang in his epics. Since the audience already knew these stories, their interest focused on the playwright’s treatment of a familiar tale, his ideas about its moral significance, and how his language shaped those ideas (Matthews, p. 62).”

The main plots in Greek tragedies constitute a grandiose set of variations on a relatively few legendary and formal themes that is not casually or occasionally intertextual, but always and inherently so. “The word tragedy in Greek means “goat song,” and this word may refer to a prehistoric religious ceremony in which competing male choruses sang and danced, while intoxicated, in homage, to the god of wine; the victory prize may been a sacrificial goat (Matthews, p.61).”

The essence of the tragedy was in telling stories about divine and/or humankind weaknesses, pains, sorrows, failures, and also acts of heroism. The conflicts in tragedies were mostly a consequence of fate. The Greek Tragedy passed through four distinct forms such as: the Thespian lyrical (the primary form which introduced the use of masks, with only one actor,) the early Aeschylean with two actors (also called the Old Tragedy,) the Sophoclean with three actors (also called the Middle Tragedy,) and the late-Euripidean drama (also called the New Tragedy).

Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripedes are the best-known Greek tragedy play authors, explaining why the classical periods were named after them. Each of them wrote over ninety tragedies (although only few survived) and won several festivals in Athens.

Aeschylus (525–456 BC) was born at Eleusius, near Athens. He fought for Athens in the great Persian Wars. His first victory as a tragic dramatist was gained in 485 BC. He won twelve times more. He elaborated over ninety plays, his masterpiece, the Oresteia, is the only trilogy that has survived. In his drama, “Aeschylus confronts and resolves the opposition between several seemingly irreconcilable polarities – Olympian and chthonian gods, divine and human justice, religious cult and civic ritual, and fate and free will (Matthews, p. 63).”

Sophocles (496-406 BC) was born at Colonus Hippius. He wrote 123 plays, of which only seven survived, all written after his victory over Aeschylus in a dramatic contest in 468 BC: Ajax, Electra, Women of Trachis, Philoctetes, Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus, and Antigone. Sophocles inaugurated the Old Tragedy adding one more actor in scene. He sees not the simplicity but the complexity of life. The Sophoclean hero, because he is complex, not single-minded, must be seen from more than one point of view, so it is important the role of one more actor on stage.

Euripides (480-406 BC) was born in Athens. He abandoned painting for literature. He wrote about 80 dramas, of which 19 survived. Some of his masterpieces are Alcestis, Medea, Orestes, and Electra. His works became more popular in Athens after his death. The Euripidean tragedy got more involved by the Peloponnesian war and by the Sophist philosophy. He introduced what it is called the New Tragedy, a more intuitive work. His plays are reflections about human experiences, traditional mythology, and human consciousness. Macbeth of Shakespeare has a strong influence from Medea.

Drama was not necessarily an original feature of the festivals at which it was performed. Comedies were performed in the Dionisya Festival just as the tragedies were. Tragedy had first place, occupying the theater for three days, on each of which were performed three tragedies and followed by a satyr-play (presenting indecent behavior and strong language) or a comedy.

Aristophanes is a very important name of the classic Greek Comedy Theater. In his works, he attacked the Athenian system of law, ridiculed politicians of that time, and caricaturized the intellectual and ordinary men. Aristophanes helped creating what it was called later ‘the old comedy’. This term means comedy produced in Athens during the fifth century BC. Eupolis, Cratinus and Aristophanes are its main exponents, but had no doubt that Aristophanes was the greatest of the three. Here is the beginning of one of his great plays: “Lysistrata:”




“[A street in Athens before daylight]
LYSISTRATA – If anyone had asked them to a festival of Aphrodite or of Bacchus or of Pan, you couldn’t get through Athens for the tambourines, but now there’s not one solitary woman here. Except my next-door neighbor. Here she’s coming out. Hello, Kalonike.

ALONIKE – Hello, Lysistrata. What are you so upset about? Don’t scowl so, clear. You’re less attractive when you knit your brows and glare.

LYSISTRATA – I know, Kalonike, but I am smoldering with indignation at the way we women act. Men think we are so gifted for all sort of crime that we will stop at nothing –

KALONIKE – Well, we are, by Zeus!”


In Old Comedy, plays had a strong element of criticism, even though free speech had its limitations in Athens. In Lysistrata, Aristophanes points out the absurdity of the prolonged Peloponnesian war. “In the play, Lysistrata, an Athenian matron, persuades the women of Athens and Sparta to withhold sex from their husbands until they sign a peace treaty (Matthews, p65).”

How important is the Greek tragedy for later Western literature and thought? The production of plays such as Medea or Oedipus the King is made until recent times. The intellectual and aesthetic contributions of these works are infinite. Greek tragedies influenced not only plays (Shakespeare and Goethe) and operas, but also thinkers as varied as Freud, Sartre and Nietzche. A book on Greek tragedy may be a work of historical documentation or of literary criticism, although the relationship between anthropology and the Classics (tragedies), for instance, has brought more than that. The studies in tragedies have explained the idea of ritual and of, so called by anthropologists, “magic thoughts”. The critical understanding of Greek tragedy is extremely flexible. It is possible to explore them politically, historically, in psychoanalysis, in linguistics, in philology and so forth.

Plato and Aristotle developed extensive thoughts concerning tragedies. In Aristotle’s work called Poetics, he affirms that the essential thing in tragedy was not the characters but the events, the fable, the mythos, and the action compounded from it. For him the preeminent example, which he repeatedly cites as model tragedy, was Sophocle’s Oedipus, in which the action, the “destiny”, takes precedence over character. This is why the Greek drama perpetuates in History. The capacity of becoming modern lies in its actions. According to Aristotle, tragedy plays are eternal for conceiving and portraying man in his universal conflicts such as: surviving, death, human justice, humiliation, sexuality, power, free will, weakness, fears, and so on. It consists in the simple idea that it is no accident that the Greek tragedy survived as creative stimulus in the drama of later eras.

Bibliography

1. KITTO, H. D. F., “Greek Tragedy.” Barnes and Noble Inc., 1968.

2. MATTHEWS, T. Roy and PLATT, F. Dewitt, “The Western Humanities.” Michigan State University, 2000.

3. ARISTOPHANES, “Lysistrata.” Chandler Publishing Company, 1961.

4. RIDGEWAY, William, “The Origin of Tragedy.” Benjamin Blom Inc., 1966.

5. HAMBURGER, Kate, “From Sophocles to Sartre.” Frederick Ungar Publishing Co., 1969.

6. “Greek Tragedy.” Cambridge University Press, 1997

7. LATTIMORE, Richmond, “Story Patterns in Greek Tragedy.”

The University of Michigan Press, 1964.

8. SANDBACH, F. H., “The Comic Theater of Greece and Rome.” Norton and Company Inc., 1977.

9. ARISTOTELES, “Poeticas.” Editora Siciliano, 1985.

10. AYLEN, Leo, “The Greek Theater.” London and Toronto Associated Presses, 1985.

Friday, February 11, 2005

AFRICAN-AMERICAN MONTH

While reading an excellent novel named "The Color of Water" by James McBride, I felt needed to write about what this month represents to all African-Americans. I don't even know exactly where my roots come from. Every time someone asks my heritage, the only thing I can say is "I AM LATINA." For those who have eventually read my other post already know that I had spent 5 years in the USA (1998-2002). There, I had the unique chance to learn so much about their civil rights heroes, names such as: MALCOM X, PAUL ROBESON, JACKIE ROBINSON, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, THE BLACK PANTHERS. They were exquisite minds of the 50's who made the difference for the African-American people. The fact that touched me the most is the one known as The Montgomery Bus Boycott. I will paste here a summarized text about this brave black woman - ROSA PARKS - also a very important character for the 50's. To me, as being LATINA (once part of the USA minorities), I do believe I needed to mention this so interesting moment in the western history and especially in this month - FEBRUARY - when African-Americans celebrate proudly their heritage and origins.

Rosa Parks and the Montgomery Bus Boycott

On the 1st of December 1955, Mrs. Rosa Parks, an African-American seamstress, was arrested in Montgomery, Alabama for not standing and letting a white bus rider take her seat.

It was an "established rule" in the American south (at that time) that African-American riders had to sit at the back of the bus. African-American riders were also expected to surrender their seat to a white bus rider if it was needed.

When asked to move to let a white bus rider be seated Mrs. Parks refused. She did not argue and she did not move. The police were called and Mrs. Parks was arrested
Mrs. Parks was not the first African-American to be arrested for this "crime." But she was the first to be arrested who was well know in the Montgomery African-American community. She was once the secretary to the president of the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People).

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was pastor of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in Montgomery. He and other African-American community leaders felt a protest of some kind was needed. A meeting was called and an overflowing crowd came to the church to hear his words. Dr. King told the crowd that the only way they could fight back would be to boycott the bus company.

On the morning of Dec. 5, the African-American residents of the city refused to use the buses. Most walked, those few with cars arranged rides for friends and strangers, some even rode mules. Only a very small number of African-Americans rode the bus that day.

Dr. King and the other African-American community leaders held another meeting to organize future action. They named their organization the Montgomery Improvement Association and elected Dr. King as its president.

As the boycott continued the white community fought back with terrorism and harassment. The car-pool drivers were arrested for picking up hitchhikers. African-Americans waiting on street corners for a ride were arrested for loitering.
On January 30, 1956 Dr. King's home was bombed. His wife and their baby daughter escaped without injury. When Dr. King arrived home he found an angry mob waiting. Dr. King told the crowd to go home.

"We must learn to meet hate with love" he said.

The boycott continued for over a year. It eventually took the United States Supreme Court to end the boycott. On November 13, 1956 the Court declared that Alabama's state and local laws requiring segregation on buses were illegal. On December 20th federal injunctions were served on the city and bus company officials forcing them to follow the Supreme Court's ruling. The following morning, December 21, 1956, Dr. King and Rev. Glen Smiley, a white minister, shared the front seat of a public bus. The boycott had lasted 381 days. The boycott was a success.

FROM: http://library.thinkquest.org/CR0214631/

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Nine Inch Nails

I've never thought that I would add a song* into my blog. Don't know about you, but I can only listen to it when I navigate on Explorer browser. Any other browser isn't running the song I've chosen. Can't explain exactly why I chose "THE PERFECT DRUG", however NIN is one of my favorite bands. I don't really have a list of my all-time favorite musicians, even though I have added some of them in my blog profile. I am not into music mostly, so I am the type of person who sticks with a CD of any band and like listening to it countless times a day. That's not the case of this song frankly speaking. The words in that music are tantalizing, that is probably the reason I've decided to have a connection between my words and theirs (NIN). Finally, if anyone can explain to me why I am not able to listen to this song in other browsers, please contact me or post any comment - I'd really appreciate if you could do that!


"The Perfect Drug"
by NINE INCH NAILS

I got my head but my head is unraveling
cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
you're the only one that's understood

I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
the more I give to you the more I die

and I want you

you are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug

you make me hard when i'm all soft inside
I see the truth when i'm all stupid-eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart

my blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me

take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces


*Note - After having several problems with other browsers and poor quality at the music reproduction, I've decided to remove it either temporarily or permanently.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

MY COMPLETE PROFILE

WRITING

ABOUT MY

SUPERFICIAL

ME...


ABOUT ME: PROFILES AREN'T GREAT TO DEFINE WHAT A PERSON IS OR ISN'T. ANYWAY, THEY ARE AT LEAST AN ORGANIZED MATERIAL TO POINT OUT WHAT IT MIGHT MATTER FOR THAT PERSON. I CARE FOR KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM, MY SISTERS, TEACHING, WRITING, READING, INTERNET, FOOD, DRINKING, MOVIES, CLOSE FRIENDS AND CONVERTING ACCOMPLISHMENTS PLUS DISAPPOINTMENTS INTO WORDS IN FREAKO POEMS.

MORE ABOUT ME: I TRY TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD ALL THE TIME BUT SOMETIMES I FAIL. I PROCRASTINATE DOING WHATEVER I HAVE TO. I DON'T USUALLY REMEMBER PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAY THEREFORE I GET REALLY EMBARRASSED WHEN THEY REMEMBER MINE. I LOVE MY ENTIRE FAMILY ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WE TRADITIONALLY LIVE APART. I PRODUCE BETTER WHEN I'M ALONE, I GET THE BEST IDEAS WHEN I'M SURROUNDED. I DON'T LIKE ARGUMENTS AND MISSUNDERSTANDINGS. I DISLIKE THE SILENCE ALTHOUGH I DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC VERY OFTEN. I DREAM OF HAVING A PUBLISHED NOVEL.FINALLY, I HAVE ALREADY HAD MOST OF MY GOALS TURNED INTO REAL PROJECTS, AND I AM ONLY 28 - THAT'S SOMETHING I AM PROUD OF.

NAME: LAILA CHRIS

MARITAL STATUS: MARRIED, NO CHILDREN

D. O. B.: JANUARY 29TH

BORN IN: BRAZIL, STATE OF SÃO PAULO

OCCUPATION: FULL-TIME ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGUE TEACHER

PASSIONS: *WRITING/ *Teaching English to kids and teenagers/ *Learning new words in English, Deutsch, Français, Español, and Português!/ *Meeting fun old friends / *Monty Python's Flying Circus / *Sleeping until late / *Having Bolla wine and bites of camembert cheese topped with roasted red bell pepper /

BOOKS: Torah/ Qur'an/ Tira-Teimas de Português, by J. Milton Gonçalves/ A Questão Judaica, by Jean Paul Sartre / The Battle for God, by Karen Armstrong / The Arab Predicament / A Questão Alemã, Vamireh Chacon / The Future of an Illusion & The Interpretation of Dreams, by Sigmund Freud /

MUSIC: Polka, Indie Rock, and Quarashi (a kick-ass Icelandic BAND)

MOVIES: CECIL B. DEMENTED / AMARCORD / ED GEIN / ROPE / MEMENTO / FARGO / 8 1/2 / BICHO DE SETE CABEÇAS/ THE BIRTH OF A NATION / DONNIE DARKO / THE PAWNSHOP / DER HIMMEL ÜBER BERLIN /

HATE: SUMMER TIME AND ANY SORT OF WARM WEATHER, RACISM, LACK OF INTEREST IN THE WORLD AND IN PEOPLE, DISRESPECT, DRIVING, MANICURING MY NAILS, IGNORANCE, WAKING UP EARLY, LOOKING DOWN ON PEOPLE, OTHERS TELLING ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO, INSECT BITES, PHYSICHAL PAIN, BRAGGING AND VOMITING.

NAMES THAT HAVE INFLUENCED ME: J. M. GONÇALVES; FERNANDO PESSOA; GARCIA LORCA; LUIZA VALENZUELA; MAIAKOVYSKI; TOLSTOY; UMBERTO ECO; FRIDA KAHLO; FAULKNER; EDGAR A. POE; CHARLES SPENCER CHAPLIN; CLARICE LISPECTOR; ALLIGHIERI; FREUD; EDNA PURVIANCE; MARIO PRATA; ISAAC EPSTEIN; DAVID BOWIE; ALAIN TOURAINE; KUBRICK; NIETZCHE; JUDY DENCH; POLANSKI; HEMINGWAY; BEAUVOIR; SHAKESPEARE; JOHN CLEESE; PIERCE; BARTHES; SAUSSURE; DRUMMOND; SUSAN SONTAG; MARLON BRANDON; SAMUEL BECKETT; OSCAR WILDE; FRITZ LANG; NOAM CHOMSKY; GOYA; MUNCH; MIRO; BURROUGHS; BORTOLOTTO; MAGRITTE; KANDINSKY; NERUDA; POLLACK; DALI; CHICO SCIENCE & NAÇÃO ZUMBI/

Thursday, February 3, 2005

My listening skills...

Untittled so far...

Fuck all the arguments for and against it
but I won’t give up seeking my inner self
my deeper beliefs
my own true personality
Love to relish the small domestic
details of life: obvious chores and
even sharing nightdreams
I like close-up shots of others' stories
I love observing beings out there
I care for helping and listening
However I don't recklessly do those
I don't randomly give out my attention to
those who can't add in me something intense,
emotional, fullfiling, and dazzling
I may say that I choose carefully
I handpick the ones who deserve my time
My time is only mine and not yours
So, don't mess with it
Because I don't.


Fake 1996