Saturday, March 26, 2011

The DRUMS again... so fucking good!


Here I go again
Getting upset over nothing
Getting upset over your heart
Over your heart
Over your heart

And if I ruled the world
I would make every country salute you
And if I ruled the world
I'd make you be mine

And I'm always in your cage
Set me free
And you've locked me in your cage
Set me free

Here you go again
Walking away like it's nothing
Walking away from my heart
But I see your eyes at night
And you know what's wrong
And you know what's right.

The future

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Drums - Best Friend


You're my best friend
But then you died
When I was 23 and you were 25

You're my best friend
But then you died
And how will I survive, survive
Survive, survive?
Oh how will I survive, survive
Survive, survive?

And every day I waited for you
And every day on the top of your car
Every day I waited for you
And every day on the hood of your car

Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah
Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah

Ohoh ohohoh ohohoh ohohoh
Ohohoh ohohohoh ohohoh ohohoh

I had a dream of you
You were drifting away
You were sad and the ocean dripped away

And I know, you're gonna be OK
Cuz I can see in your eyes
Your eyes, your eyes, your eyes
Oh no no no, I wanna survive
Survive, survive, survive.

And every day I waited for you
And every day on the top of your car
Every day I waited for you
And every day on the hood of your car

Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah
Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah..

Ohoh ohohoh ohohoh ohohoh
Ohohoh ohohohoh ohohoh ohohoh

And every day I waited for you
And every day on the top of your car
Every day I waited for you
And every day on the hood of your car

Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah
Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah
Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah
Ahahah ahahah ahahah ahahahahah...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

MGMT - Time To Pretend - Official Music Video


I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run its course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Monday, March 21, 2011

flickr blast... old photos... long time no see!

we finally got the "pro" version of FLICKR so now I am having a blast enjoying "LONG-TIME-NO-SEE" pictures. You know, we format computers. Our machines get bugged. You know... And I am not organized when it comes to pictures. Flickr is saving my life. It's being quite amazing!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

SAD BUT TRUE... (guitar reef)

I came up with a fantastic conclusion on my literature career attempt: I'll never have anything published in this country. Period. By this country I mean Brazil. Where I am from. Where I live in. This is a fact. Well, man... I feel ridiculous writing in Portuguese. Seriously. I can't manage this language anymore. Although I have not gone that deep in terms of significance with English language, I just find it way much easier to bring about any word that I need in this language: ENGLISH. Every useful word, which has to show up in the back of mind, vanishes in Portuguese. And while I'm writing in English, they are simply there. That may seem stupid since I am a Portuguese speaker, but hey, life is stupid every now and then. I've got an explanation: maybe that is "because extended vocabulary hardly has its place in Brazilian Portuguese modern writing", according to Simone Campos (a Brazilian writer who writes in English just like I do. Better saying, she does not write like I do because her writings are way better than mine. That was a joke and I hope you get that.)

I come from a family whose parents are ESL teachers. By the age of seven I started taking my English as a Second Language course (in Brazil, foreign languages aren't widely required in regular Elementary School curricula). At the age of fourteen I graduated and started helping my parents tutor some of their beginer students. That is when I took a Portuguese language composition course and I acquired interest in writing. I became mesmerized by the mere power of words. And I have been still. I had discovered them even way before that! I wrote my very first poem by the age of 10.

A few years later, in High School (when I was 14 and started taking a nice composition course), I would read mature writers for mature readers... Gee! Then I became moved by literature. Hence, I decided to major in Journalism. I innocently believed that that major would make me a real writer. But there, I was not learning all the useful words in their strongest depth. I am pretty sure I learned how to write as a journalist should. Whatever others may have thought of me producing as a journO, it was all stale to me. I lost interest. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to write beyond my own capacity. That's when the other languages come in. "To replenish thy cup of thirstiness for writing." In 1998, I took a plane to the USA and started taking a creative writing college major in St Pete, Florida. That means that I won't ever publish a book in Brazil (This is the end, my friend!).

Nowadays, I find it really hard to write in my first language. I feel the need to come up with words and shapes. Yes, even shapes. "I have to develop new syntaxes." I many times notice in me a strange habit of writing in Portuguese words as they were mistranslated English ones. Or Japanese. Or Spanish. Or French. Or even German. For I had the chance to interact with Native Speakers of all the above languages cited while living in the USA. I used to feel at ease in that American-Floridian-English world. It's easy to write here on this blog, for example. Besides this, my experience of having studied the local language in Dublin, Ireland, was wholesome too. English language enpowers me. It's breezy to have "sentences popping out one after another." In Portuguese, "I have to sit and wait. A lot." And the worst part is the final result, which seems so much lame, at least in some ways.

Yesterday, I came across this paragraph on Simone's writing: "Now you're gonna ask me why I detest my poor mother-tongue. Well I love my language. But I can get enough of it. I'm a slut, that is. I'm prostituting with all other tongues. In fact, I write in all of them at the same time, same line. It feels so good." These words had to be in THE PAWNSHOP blog. I could not let them slip through my fingers. Oh Simone...

I haven't given up on my Portuguese writings. As a matter of fact, I still get some really good shit in my language, especially when I deconstruct what may seem not right. It is for sure my coolest (not BEST) way of writing. But when the subject is book publishing, I do believe that my first novel, that very first Laila's fiction book, will come out in English. But the second book will be released in Portuguese(?), Spanish(?), Chinese(?). Who will read me in this country? Oh, man, I am so confusing. I wish I were simpler. There are moments I wish I were a fly or a silver fish. But I was made to be complicated. Or even better, I wish I were a multilingual dictionary. I wish I were also a vintage book. That very book that "exposes today's challenges in an old-fashioned way." I wish I were a pun. I wish I were all words, at least, as many words as can be written and said.

There are days I wake up not feeling well. There are days I get up and wander around my house thinking - 'One more day without making a difference in the universe of words, clauses, exclamations, cited sentences, idiomatic expressions, phrases and so on. One more day without locating my own odd style.' "Variety. That's the word for my style. I'm always playing around. I develop ways. I'm a carver. You can't go and tell me I abandoned my previous style – you just hadn't seen all of it, love. If I wanted to bestsell, it was easy. I'd just have to write in English, then translate. But until now I had been tied up by the language "of my own" - I write around it." Oh, Simone! I'm in love with your words.

My waking life feels as though it's all fiction. I can't believe that I am able to exist outside my mind. Many lives do exist inside our collective minds. People do not realize that somehow. I create and recreate characters in me because many times I am not capable to carve them into words. I act as if I were somebody else. Trouble is, I think I'm dreaming too much and living too little. When I come across difficulties in life, I usually say: 'God, just leave me out of this bad dream!

I find myself in actual dreams in which I am still dreaming but I clearly feel as if I am awake. Then I see myself through the eyes of someone else in those dreams. I tell myself then: 'You're sleeping and soon we'll have to wake up, so enjoy this moment to the fullest. Then the dream is almost over and I feel like waking up, but I force to put me into that dream again. And now I'm working still in the dream. I'd like to wake up. Difficult thing. I have been mastering a weird technique of traveling into the dreams I normally have since I was a little kid. I am very much afraid that, one day, this technique won't work anymore. I want to hold this particular ability of placing and replacing me into good and bad dreams forever.

Simone has also put these words on the dreaming subject which I think it is so worthy reading: "I had always had the theory that the line between my conscious and subconscious mind was not that thick. I could always remember what I dreamed with an amazing amount of detail. When I dreamt I knew it was a dream and I had a real life to get back to - and I'd even learn to tell the difference, within time. But that was only the you're-not-that-postal part. Sometimes I could see places I had dreamt of repeat themselves in real life, sometimes I'd write fiction and tiny details of it subsequently came real in a quite haunting way. Things were escaping into life and I'm sorry that they do. But now apparently what I want is to escape life, because somehow, I'm not really sure that I woke up today."

"I have always had the theory that the line between my conscious and subconscious mind was not that thick," THIS READS SO RIGHT. But there is one tiny little thing that I can't agree with Simone and it starts from here: The subjects and matters of my writings (Laila's writings) do not mostly come from dreams I've had though. They are built in my awareness. "The reveries which I sense in my waking like are molded as words, my own words, my multilingual dictionaries, puns, clauses, exclamations and phrases. My characters, poems, settings, and plots are originated in the deepest of my traumas which emerge in real life, in the eye of the swirl of my observational fluids." My literature is born and killed on blank sheets of paper or blank computer screens. Yeah. But in English. Sure that I won't ever publish anything in this lame country. Damn Portuguese!

Ms Burden

PS: Whatever is between "", it means those words were borrowed from SIMONE CAMPOS.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Mason Jennings - Butterfly


BUTTERFLY
by Mason Jennings

Look at me now

I'm all dressed up in your words today

Do you think about me

Do you think about me



And if it comes down

It's still about the sweet little things you say

After all that I've run from

Where the fuck did you come from



Butterfly, baby I still have my doubts about you cuz

Butterfly, cuz I can't find nothing bad about you and

Butterfly, you mess me up you made my heart double beat and

Butterfly, I don't know how it is you got inside of me



But you're in there now

Oh you're in there now, you're in there now

You made me yours

With your lovely cures



Life is like

I don't why it is I do things like this

After all that I've come from

You're the woman I should run from



Butterfly, baby I still have my doubts about you cuz

Butterfly, cuz I can't find nothing bad about you and

Butterfly, you mess me up you made my heart double beat and

Butterfly, I don't know how it is you got inside of me

Sunday, March 6, 2011

The blondie is Raymi, a writer and a professional blogger... Besides being women, we've got one more thing in common ROFL

http://www.raymitheminx.com

Raymi is an intelligent gorgeous woman. I love her writings and her corageous blog. I hope men remember to celebrate OUR DAY in Canada too just like we do in Brazil. It is on March 8th, folks! HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY to Raymi and all blogger women in this world.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Something to think about...

THE HARE
Chinese Zodiac - Yeah... I may gonna restart studying CHINESE. I'm nuts. I know it.

Hares fall under a most fortunate sign! Their sign is the emblem of long life and they possess the powers of the moon. Hares are very sensitive to beauty. They are gracious and soft spoken. Hares are the diplomats and the peace-makers. They enjoy a tranquil life and love a quiet evening at home. Hares are reserved and very artistic. They are thorough and good scholars. When Hares are moody, which is often, they will appear totally indifferent to the world.

Hares are lucky in money matters and great at finding a bargain. They may look easy-going, but they are actually quite cunning! Being a strong-willed person, they go quietly but determinedly towards their goals. They don't like making waves and find other means to get their way.

Hares are well-mannered and seldom use harsh words or foul language. Instead they cater to your every whim until they get their way. Before you know it, you have been won over! Although Hares appear slow at times, they are actually practicing caution. They read all the fine print before signing their names. Their uncanny abilities to correctly assess people and situations leave them quite conceited. Hares are considerate, understanding, warm, friendly, and easy to be with. They know how to relax.

When everyone is rushing around, Hares remind you that there is still tomorrow. Their motto is "live and let live". Hares would never embarrass you in public and they know how to save face. If Hares can spare your feelings, they will. For this they are well liked.

Hares make few enemies and rarely get into serious trouble. No one is more understanding. Hares give you all the sympathy you need. Just don't expect them to go out and do battle for you.If the going gets too rough, Hares may make a quick exit. They can't stand suffering and misery. Hares are experts at passing the buck and may hedge over difficult issues. When they feel too threatened they are unpredictable. If you push them too far they will simply get rid of you! Hares were not born to be fighters. They have their own ways that are very effective. Having good sense they know how to take care of themselves. They protect their own environment from strife at all costs.

Hares are good entertainers and hosts. They have good words to say about everyone. Although they often know more than they will say,they are discreet in their choice of friends. No matter what happens to Hares, they land on their feet and easily leap obstacles in their path. Hares believe in themselves and are at peace within. They will find success and contentment.

I feel more like DRAGON...

THE DRAGON
Dragon people are balls of fire! They are full of vitality and love of life. Always on the run, they drag their faithful band of admirers behind them. Dragons are egotistical, eccentric, demanding, and giving.

They are proud, direct, and loaded with high ideals which they always try to live up to. Having a zeal for life, they want to live it on a grand scale. They have the potential for accomplishing many great things as long as they don't get too far ahead of themselves. When dragons do something, good or bad, you can be certain their deeds do not go unnoticed! Dragons are always making the news.

It is next to impossible to win an argument with Dragon people.They intimidate anyone who challenges them. Once you arouse their anger, they keep after you for a very long time. Dragons are extremely loyal to friends and family. When really needed they always come to the rescue. They are the first ones to say "I told you so". In spite of being overly emotional, a Dragon is not sentimental or even romantic. They will just take it for granted that everyone loves them. Although they are stubborn and irrational, they are not petty or begrudging with their favors. It is hard for them to hide their feelings. They don't even try.

Not being secretive themselves, they can't be expected to keep a confidence for long; but Dragons speak from the heart and are always sincere. Their manners may seem brusque and too direct, but they merely want to get things moving. Being creatures of action, they motivate others, too. They often get into rushes and fail to see the flaws in a situation.Instead of diving in, Dragons need to learn to check things out better. Dragons need purpose in their lives, causes to fight for, and goals to reach. An uninvolved Dragon is a sad sight indeed.

Dragons consider themselves very strong. They will often bite off more than they can chew. When this happens, they are too proud to ask for help and exhaust themselves. Dragons can do many things well. They may be artists, politicians, doctors, or ministers. When Dragons choose the right profession, they will be successful and devoted. They just can't help winning!

In romance, Dragons are seldom the losers and are usually the ones breaking hearts. Dragons don't marry too young, and many are content and happier living alone. Dragons will always have more than their share of friends and admirers to keep them company. Dragons are really softies and fall apart if they lose their supporters. They dazzle as long as there is someone who believes in them.

Source: http://www.rainfall.com/horoscop/chinese.htm

Vacation and New Kitty in the Block

Is hope a feeling? Hell, yeah.  Is burden a thing? Double hell, yeah. Since vacation started (there is no accurate date when it ...